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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

neighbour not keeping her lawn mowed

94 replies

Reality · 12/08/2013 10:17

(this isn't me it's my SIL and I know what I think, I'm throwing out to you lot to see if you agree).

Ok, so SIL's house has a 'shared' front lawn, in that there's no fence, but it is very clearly half hers and half next doors.

She is a SAHM to one school aged child. Next door has a toddler and a baby.

She has complained to me on several occasions that next door never mow their front lawn (or not often enough for her ie twice a week), so she does it for them when she does hers, and she is cross with them because they have never once thanked her or brought her a cup of tea out while she does it.

Now, I speak as someone with a tatty front garden, I woudl be MORTIFIED if one of my neighbours took it upon themselves to mow it. I would probably be pretty angry about it, and I may not have the balls to confront them so I would probably just ignore it and not say anything.

SIL thinks she is doing them a favour and that they shoudl acknowledge it and be grateful, she was also upset that when they did mow their lawn, they only did their side.

What would you think? If you were either SIL or her neighbour? Who's in the right here? Or, who is being unreasonable?

(I dont' really care that much by the way, I'm just killing time before we go to the park)

OP posts:

primallass · 12/08/2013 10:19

My NDN used to mow my front lawn and I loved it but was a teeny bit embarrassed.

waikikamookau · 12/08/2013 10:20

I wouldn't mow her side, there is a divide, even if there is no fence. why is she doing it and then being cross that they don't thank her? does she want to offer them to borrow her lawnmower?

fluffyraggies · 12/08/2013 10:21

If she's happy to mow the lawn (happy in this context meaning happier to do it herself and see a mowed lawn than looking out at a tatty one) then she's BU to moan about doing it.

Grignard · 12/08/2013 10:21

I've lived in a house like that - one section of grass that spans both front gardens and it is pretty standard to mow your neighbours side at the same time.
I wouldn't do it without knocking on the door and offering to do their side whilst I had the mower out though (first time).

Whothefuckfarted · 12/08/2013 10:21

I'd be pissed off that the neighbour decided to mow my lawn, but in my own interests I'd say thanks so they kept doing it if i didn't have time

waikikamookau · 12/08/2013 10:22

I think my neighbour did mine for me, once, but she mentioned it and there was a tiny fence? it seems easy when there is a small lawn involved but I don't see why anyone should be mowing anyone else's lawn as a matter of course

Elsiequadrille · 12/08/2013 10:23

She shouldn't be mowing their side without asking. It may be that they haven't thanked her because they have no manners, but more likely they're not happy she has mowed their lawn.

YouTheCat · 12/08/2013 10:23

If my neighbours started mowing my lawn (yeah right, more likely that hell will freeze over) I'd thank them and take them a cuppa/wine.

YouStayClassySanDiego · 12/08/2013 10:23

If I were the neighhbour I would acknowledge your SiL's effort.

Is your SiL doing the mowing because she feels that the ndn has a lot on her plate with the kids or that she's garden proud and hates that the grass is a mess and making her garden look bad?

georgedawes · 12/08/2013 10:24

She'd die living next to us. Our garden is a jungle!

waikikamookau · 12/08/2013 10:24

I lent my neighbour my car to pick his wife up once and she never thanked me, I was really cross.
but some people find having to say thank you embarrassing.

Original poster

Reality · 12/08/2013 10:27

SIL is incredibly house proud, she spends the whole time her DS is at school scrubbing and cleaning and gardening.

Which is lovely for her, but I don't think she understands people like me who don't. Her NDN is just normal, I think, and thinks of mowing the lawn when it looks tatty. SIL does hers religiously twice a week, she waters the garden every day too, I did laugh when she asked me who was watering my garden when we were on holiday. Um. The rain?

Because I'm not that bothered I find it odd. But I wonder how many of my neighbours look at my jungle lawn and wish they coudl sneak out and mow it? I will do it later, actually, as it is starting to look a bit shaggy.

OP posts:

Original poster

Reality · 12/08/2013 10:28

It's because she doesn't want it looking bad, mostly. Although I think she dresses it up in her head as altruism.

OP posts:

EllesAngel · 12/08/2013 10:28

Your SIL mowing the NDN lawn without asking them is presumptious and that would annoy me. However, if she knocked and asked me if I would like her to do it then I'd let her and make her that cup of tea as a thanks.

YouTheCat · 12/08/2013 10:29

I'm also thinking of hacking at the front hedges and running the strimmer around today (praying for rain).

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 12/08/2013 10:29

If our neighbour did this without asking, we'd be pissed off too. We also have a shared lawn and ours is a jungle....deliberately...for the bees! We have a problem in the UK in that our bees are under threat...so we choose to make our lawn into a haven for them.

Also...why would your SIL expect a cup of frigging tea!? Her own kitchen is nearby and it's a lawn not a bloody building site!

whatsthatcomingoverthehill · 12/08/2013 10:29

We have a lawn (and flowerbed in the middle) that goes across both houses, and it tends to be whoever is doing the mowing that does it. It would be odder not to do the other half, and would look crap.

Difficult to comment really without knowing what it looks like, but the neighbours could be being a bit petty not to mow her half.

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit · 12/08/2013 10:30

I'm sorry, who mows their lawn twice a week?!

Trills · 12/08/2013 10:30

Twice a week?!

fluffyraggies · 12/08/2013 10:31

Am i imagining it or was there a thread on here a few weeks ago that went along the lines of:

''I have a neighbour that is very house proud and keeps the front of their house perfectly groomed. Allot of the houses on the street do this in fact.

I am less worried about appearances and am cross that this neighbour has started to take it upon themselves to weed our drive! Am i supposed to be grateful?! i'm not! i feel insulted''

Original poster

Reality · 12/08/2013 10:32

It's not a small lawn, each house has one the length of a two car drive and twice as wide. So a proper job.

Yes, twice a week, watering and weeding every day, whole house cleaned every day too. It does look lovely but the thought slightly exhausts me.

OP posts:

LilacBreastedRoller · 12/08/2013 10:33

If it had been a while and it was was looking shabby I'd feel guilty and a bit grateful as well as judged, so would say thanks. If she was doing it twice a week and giving out exasperation vibes I'd find it very annoying and wish she'd find more meaning in life.

Onesleeptillwembley · 12/08/2013 10:35

Your sil needs to get a life. Either now and shut up, or don't mow and shut up.

YouStayClassySanDiego · 12/08/2013 10:37

If your sil is happy/determined to keep doing it and the ndn says nothing your sil will just have to keep moaning to you and silently seething at the neighbour!.

Watering the grass, her water bill must be huge!

waikikamookau · 12/08/2013 10:39

near me there is a green and it does look daft when people only mow the bit near to their house
but that is a different issue

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