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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

neighbour not keeping her lawn mowed

94 replies

Reality · 12/08/2013 10:17

(this isn't me it's my SIL and I know what I think, I'm throwing out to you lot to see if you agree).

Ok, so SIL's house has a 'shared' front lawn, in that there's no fence, but it is very clearly half hers and half next doors.

She is a SAHM to one school aged child. Next door has a toddler and a baby.

She has complained to me on several occasions that next door never mow their front lawn (or not often enough for her ie twice a week), so she does it for them when she does hers, and she is cross with them because they have never once thanked her or brought her a cup of tea out while she does it.

Now, I speak as someone with a tatty front garden, I woudl be MORTIFIED if one of my neighbours took it upon themselves to mow it. I would probably be pretty angry about it, and I may not have the balls to confront them so I would probably just ignore it and not say anything.

SIL thinks she is doing them a favour and that they shoudl acknowledge it and be grateful, she was also upset that when they did mow their lawn, they only did their side.

What would you think? If you were either SIL or her neighbour? Who's in the right here? Or, who is being unreasonable?

(I dont' really care that much by the way, I'm just killing time before we go to the park)

OP posts:

katydidit · 12/08/2013 14:43

I wouldn't be impressed. We don't mow our lawn (though it is not shared) or weed the garden because we've decided it is wildlife garden - we have lots of bees, frogs, butterflies, newts, hedgehogs and dragonflies and they wouldn't be there if we mowed the lawn as much as our neighbours. We even have the occasional snake in our compost bins but we keep that quiet due to a snake phobic relative who visits often

youmeatsix · 12/08/2013 14:48

she should move next door to my mother, they sound kindred spirits. our garden is tidy-ish. its used and looks it. she was visiting me last week and asked did i need a hand in the garden? ermm no i dont, and i shushed her out the gate. she mows twice per week as well

TooMuchRain · 12/08/2013 14:54

If I were her neighbour I would be grateful and say so

RevoltingPeasant · 12/08/2013 14:54

I totally don't get this thing of going onto someone else's property without asking them and just starting to muck about. I dunno, I would feel so weird and like I was trespassing - well, I would be! Recently, my NDN asked me to climb over her wall whilst she was away and water her plants (she didn't want to leave her gate undone the whole time). I did it, but always felt a bit jumpy - what if someone saw me climbing over, knew she was away, and thought I was up to no good?

Also, just ask them first. It is not that hard. Same NDN saw me painting my fence recently and remarked that hers needed doing. She is older so I offered to do it for her. She said 'Well if you don't mind...' I said it was no problem, and did it whilst she was away, so as not to bother her with paint smells etc.

That is neighbourly. Waiting till she'd gone out, however, and hopping her gate with a tin of Cuprinol in hand, would be a bit crazy.

Why is this difference so hard to understand?

encyclogirl · 12/08/2013 15:24

We do a tit for tat kind of deal with our neighbours. Granted we live in the country and have ride ons, but we just keep driving and do all the lawns while we're at it.

We also strim each others lawn edges and another neighbour drives up and down the lane on his tractor twice a year with his agricultural hedge cutters and cuts all our hedgerows, (once the nesting season is over).

My dh, takes his strimmer across the lane and strims even more neighbours' garden edges too when he's in a strimming zone.

QuintessentialOldDear · 12/08/2013 15:27

HA! Is your sil my neighbour???
One of my neighbours decided to pebble over her next doors front garden with large "beach style pebbles" as her neighbours garden was such a mess, and as she had hers professionally done felt that the pebbles would match her own garden better.....

She was much surprised to find her neighbour out on all four removing the pebbles, one by one. She honestly could not understand as it was an improvement to the weeds.....

Groovee · 12/08/2013 15:29

Is this the same SIL who's child only eats chicken nuggets?

I'd put up a huge fence to stop her!

LessMissAbs · 12/08/2013 15:31

Twice a week? Maybe the next door neighbour is waiting for her grass to grow so that she actually has a reason to cut it!

I thought I was quite fanatical about grass cutting (I even cut the verges outside my house and do stripes on my lawn) but twice a week is just ridiculous. I let it go 3 or 4 weeks at the start of the growing season to allow it to get established.

gobbledegook1 · 12/08/2013 15:33

My front lawn tends to get tatty and overgrown, I hate it looking that way and feel a bit embarrassed next to my neighbours nicely mown lawns but I barely mow it because I hate mowing at the best of times and its all bumpy and uneven and on a slant so i find it really difficult. If my neighbours took it upon themselves to do it for me whilst doing their own I'd be eternally grateful.

cantspel · 12/08/2013 15:39

I am sure the neighbor is quite capable of telling her to stop if she doesn't want her to cut the grass so she must be happy for her to continue.

WholeLottaRosie · 12/08/2013 15:40

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

austenozzy · 12/08/2013 15:50

We used to have an open area of grass to the front of our old house - the houses were in a sort of mews, with small area of grass and path in front of each. If one of use was out the front doing our own, we'd often do the ones either side too. They were tiny and took a few minutes.

It was always reciprocated, and nobody felt that there was PA nonsense going on. If I was in, I'd always say thanks (never worried about a cuppa as the areas were so small it would be done before the kettle boiled!).

So I guess it depends on the area involved. If it's a 2 min job, and I knew the neighbour had two small kids to manage, I'd happily run the mower over it and think nothing of it.

LazyFaire · 12/08/2013 15:56

Hahaha.

Actually laughed a little. Twice a week? The neighbours are probably just waiting for some actual growth before they attempt to mow their lawn.

Them doing their half and specifically leaving hers, I would take as a clear message to mine her own business. If she has such a massive problem with their lawn looking tatty, she can erect a fence and then start a feud over the colour they want to paint their side, perhaps

Mintyy · 12/08/2013 16:01

It is good for grass to mow it very regularly. Lets lots of light get to the roots, keeps it green and healthy.

I think your sil's ndns should mow the whole lot once a fortnight and she can do it more often if she chooses to (ie. their half of a once a week job).

Wuxiapian · 12/08/2013 16:04

SIL's neighbour didn't ask her to cut it, so why is SIL expecting a thank you?!

I wouldn't appreciate my neighbour taking it upon themselves to start hacking at my lawn.

MissStrawberry · 12/08/2013 16:08

We have a front lawn with about a yard of it belonging to the next door neighbour. When we mowed ours of course we did theirs too. Would have been ridiculous not too. They now have slate down so no need to mow it.

I would be pretty pissed off if someone took upon themselves to do anything to anything of mine and your SIL is being rather precious to mow it twice a week and entitled to expect tea and thanks when no one asked her to do it.

I suggest she stop. It isn't her lawn and maybe next door want to grow it.

LiegeAndLief · 12/08/2013 18:10

If the ndn didn't thank her and doesn't do hers when she is mowing her own, she doesn't want your SIL doing hers.

headlesslambrini · 12/08/2013 18:17

I think, in a roundabout way, the NDN's have told her what they think - they only mowed their own lawn when they did it. Tell her to mow her own bit and to stick to her own side.

If she is doing it twice a week, then they are not really getting the opportunity to do it are they?

wonkylegs · 12/08/2013 18:22

If your SIL wants to mow a lawn shes more than welcome to do ours - it's over an acre and is supposed to be done every 2weeks or so (we've only been here a few weeks so don't know if we'll be that good yet or not) ... I think she'd soon get over the twice a week habit!
If she hasn't spoken to them about it, I'm not surprised they haven't said thank you, they may not have noticed (my mum thought she had slow growing grass not that my brother mowed it every time he was over) or they might be miffed as technically she's trespassing and although she means well she's overstepped the mark a bit, or perhaps they don't know how to react to her slightly bonkers gardening regime and decided to say nothing in case they accidentally offend her by pointing out it's a bit OTT!

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