Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

neighbour not keeping her lawn mowed

94 replies

Reality · 12/08/2013 10:17

(this isn't me it's my SIL and I know what I think, I'm throwing out to you lot to see if you agree).

Ok, so SIL's house has a 'shared' front lawn, in that there's no fence, but it is very clearly half hers and half next doors.

She is a SAHM to one school aged child. Next door has a toddler and a baby.

She has complained to me on several occasions that next door never mow their front lawn (or not often enough for her ie twice a week), so she does it for them when she does hers, and she is cross with them because they have never once thanked her or brought her a cup of tea out while she does it.

Now, I speak as someone with a tatty front garden, I woudl be MORTIFIED if one of my neighbours took it upon themselves to mow it. I would probably be pretty angry about it, and I may not have the balls to confront them so I would probably just ignore it and not say anything.

SIL thinks she is doing them a favour and that they shoudl acknowledge it and be grateful, she was also upset that when they did mow their lawn, they only did their side.

What would you think? If you were either SIL or her neighbour? Who's in the right here? Or, who is being unreasonable?

(I dont' really care that much by the way, I'm just killing time before we go to the park)

OP posts:
claudedebussy · 12/08/2013 10:41

i think she should stop doing it.

it would annoy me hugely. i would hate it if someone did my lawn.

she should knock on the door and check with them each and every time. she's not even giving them the option!

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 12/08/2013 10:41

She mows the grass twice a week? Let her get on with it if she's that daft.

vestandknickers · 12/08/2013 10:44

I don't mow my lawn very often. Just not enough hours in the day and it is not something I mind about hugely. If my neighbour mowed mine I wouldn't really care one way or another but I certainly wouldn't feel the need to say thank you because I'd know they'd done it for their own sake.

thebody · 12/08/2013 10:44

she's a fruit loop. gardens shouldn't be mown twice a week. not good for the grass.

if she mowed my lawn this often I would tell her to piss off.

she needs to get a job outside of the home/ do voluntary work. too much time in her hands.

Cravingdairy · 12/08/2013 10:45

They might prefer longer grass. I find it nicer to walk on when it hasn't just been mowed. Also some people with hayfever find it's worse when a lawn has just been mowed. I think she should leave their garden alone personally!

SofiaVagueara · 12/08/2013 10:48

The NDN will know that your sister is partly doing it because she is annoyed and being judgmental, I'm not surprised she hasn't thanked her.

I don't think a bit of long grass does any harm. Either your sister can just mow her half or mow the other half if it's really annoying her but she shouldn't expect any thanks when she's just doing it to make a point.

AmazingBouncingFerret · 12/08/2013 10:48

Does she want to come and do my lawns? She can even have a sandwich with her cup of tea if she does!

halcyondays · 12/08/2013 10:54

why does it need done twice a week? has she got nothing better to do?

AmazingBouncingFerret · 12/08/2013 10:56

"why does it need done twice a week? has she got nothing better to do?" she has obviously not discovered the wonders of procrastinating on mumsnet.

thebody · 12/08/2013 10:59

so agree Ferret... 😃 I am supposed to be clearing out my wardrobe!!!!

PurpleRayne · 12/08/2013 11:04

She is being ill-mannered...

SofiaVagueara · 12/08/2013 11:04

Twice a week? No wonder the next door neighbour is pissed off. I wouldn't thank her either. She's a nutter. She's trying to impose her loopy standards on her next door neighbour.

They probably haven't thanked her because they're to frightened to approach the crazy lady.

sophiedaal · 12/08/2013 11:07

twice a week seems excessive. Has she got superfast growing grass? Is her half of the garden used for Crown Green Bowls practice or something?? Won't someone think of the bees?!

I think it all comes down to how it's done: if she knocked, and said, 'I'm just doing the lawn, shall I do your half too while I've got the Flymo out?' I'd be grateful and say yes, thanks and probably offer her a drink. If she just did it, while casting daggers at the kitchen window and huffing, I'd be ordering window stickers supporting the proliferation of natural wildflower meadows.

Disclaimer: I only opened this thread because I thought it might be about my house. My garden is very, cough, butterfly-friendly.

bluestar2 · 12/08/2013 11:22

Am baffled at responses here. My neighbour mows our front and we mow hers. Nobody asked permission and as far as I'm aware no one is pissed or insulted. She mows far more than we do so I'm the scruffy one. I have 2 small children and both work ft. She doesn't and enjoys her garden very much. I don't get embarrassed but do say thanks and share garden bins , hers was nicked!
I get that sil is bothered by this but then she should leave it or say something. I am so surprised at the consensus people should ask first or feel insulted by a neighbour helping them out or doing something nice.

bluestar2 · 12/08/2013 11:24

Although twice a week is excessive tbf I prob would think she was a little batty if she did that. Would still say thanks though.

JemimaPuddle · 12/08/2013 11:24

We have the same situation with our front garden, DP always does theirs when he does ours, he asked first though.

They've never thanked him though.

LookingThroughTheFog · 12/08/2013 11:30

Assuming she hasn't said 'do you want me to do yours while I'm doing ming?' this sort of strikes me as SIL hoping the neighbours can read her mind.

Firstly, that she thinks their lawn needs mowing (it doesn't actually need doing twice a week, only she thinks so).

Secondly, that she thinks this is a big favour, rather than just something that's no skin of her nose (after all, if it was an imposition, surely she'd just stop doing it).

Finally, that she wants the favour returned in some way (see above).

HaveToWearHeels · 12/08/2013 11:30

I would be grateful if someone mowed my lawn and I would thank them.

We live in a largeish house but with a stupidly small front garden which has a strip of grass about 2 foot wide that joins our poxy front garden to next doors poxy front garden. It is such a pain getting out the lawn mower round the front that who ever bothers just does the whole lot.
We have been doing this for 5 years and as far as I can recall it was not an arrangement it is just something we do !

I hasten to add we do not do it twice a week !

HoneyDragon · 12/08/2013 11:34

We have a shared lawn. Our side is bigger than next doors but we still take turns mowing it when it needs doing. Sometimes one off us will end up doing it a few times in a row if the other is busy.

No cups of tea or thanks have been involved.

Mowing twice a week is somewhat precious, although I get she wants it too look nice. However she shouldn't expect NDNs to have her standards.

inallmydays · 12/08/2013 11:44

sounds like they dont have a chance to mow their lawn if she is doing it twice a week , i would be a bit pissed off if someone did mine so would not thank them and hope they would take the hint to not do it again .

yesihavenamechangedforthis · 12/08/2013 11:49

Goodness twice a week! The neighbours might be quietly seething about the noise.

Our neighbours are house proud which is nice for them but seem to want to impose their standards on us as it is a semi. The waited until we went on holiday and painted some of the front of our house.....we were pissed off!

So when they went out and bought fancy plants for their front flower bed I deliberately stopped weeding out front to wind them up

diddl · 12/08/2013 11:57

Is this THE SIL?

If so, SIBU-no discussion neededGrin

If she's doing it twice a week, she's not giving them chance to do it, is she?

And if she's never asked-of course they don't say thank you!

I used to live in a house with a shared front entrance.

Without fail, when I left to take toddler to Kindergarten, the shared entrance would have been mopped by the time I got back.

I rarely got a chance to do it!

Wouldn't have minded, but when she moved out, she complained to the next people that I was lazy & never did it!

Although of course it always got cleaned when she was away.

Some people like to feel superior.

trinity0097 · 12/08/2013 12:15

Twice a week is unreasonable! Once a fortnight or so in summer is what I would expect from people with busy lives. It sounds like she never gives them a chance to mow it!

thebody · 12/08/2013 12:18

actually I would have to tell her to stop doing this as twice a week is bad for the grass.

she sounds a pita.

thisisyesterday · 12/08/2013 12:20

if someone mowed my lawn I would thank them!