Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

neighbour not keeping her lawn mowed

94 replies

Reality · 12/08/2013 10:17

(this isn't me it's my SIL and I know what I think, I'm throwing out to you lot to see if you agree).

Ok, so SIL's house has a 'shared' front lawn, in that there's no fence, but it is very clearly half hers and half next doors.

She is a SAHM to one school aged child. Next door has a toddler and a baby.

She has complained to me on several occasions that next door never mow their front lawn (or not often enough for her ie twice a week), so she does it for them when she does hers, and she is cross with them because they have never once thanked her or brought her a cup of tea out while she does it.

Now, I speak as someone with a tatty front garden, I woudl be MORTIFIED if one of my neighbours took it upon themselves to mow it. I would probably be pretty angry about it, and I may not have the balls to confront them so I would probably just ignore it and not say anything.

SIL thinks she is doing them a favour and that they shoudl acknowledge it and be grateful, she was also upset that when they did mow their lawn, they only did their side.

What would you think? If you were either SIL or her neighbour? Who's in the right here? Or, who is being unreasonable?

(I dont' really care that much by the way, I'm just killing time before we go to the park)

OP posts:

ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 12/08/2013 12:21

tell her to stop doing it then!

She's doing it for her, not them.

Maybe they don't actually like her doing it. Technically she's trespassing, isn't she?

I think that she needs to either stop doing it or stop moaning.

Ragwort · 12/08/2013 12:22

We had a shared lawn once and our NDNs were much keener gardeners than us and would frequently mow our lawn (I was delighted ) - in the scheme of things if your SIL is more interested in having a neat lawn can't she just carry on doing it and accept people have different standards?

When we moved away our neighbours put up a hedge between the two bits of lawn to make a clear distinction .

FreeWee · 12/08/2013 12:26

If I was her I'd be annoyed they didn't mow mine when they mow theirs if I'd been mowing theirs. We mow next doors as a thank you for letting us park on their drive (no car so our car makes house look occupied) but have occasionally been really busy and let both grow pretty long and they've mown ours and theirs before we'd had the chance. If they'd only mown theirs I'd have been annoyed. But then we've talked to our neighbours and offered so we've got an agreement. How many problems on MN could be solved by people actually talking to their neighbours?

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance · 12/08/2013 12:29

SIL thinks she is doing them a favour and that they shoudl acknowledge it and be grateful, she was also upset that when they did mow their lawn, they only did their side.

I would take this as their way of saying - Oi! Stop mowing my lawn you nutter!

Technically, is she trespassing? If she was mowing my lawn without asking, she might get short shrift tbh.

Mowing twice a week is fine when grass is growing strongly and you're just getting the very tips of it off. It's unnecessary though.

She does sound a bit of a nutter.

Taz1212 · 12/08/2013 12:30

I'd be really annoyed! Our front and side lawns suffered horribly this winter and ended up with tons of moss- the side lawn was 99% moss and we seriously considered just digging it up and planting. I've been on an all out war this spring/summer removing moss, reseeding, fertilising etc. I mow once a week at a high setting so it quickly looks too long but all of this is resulting in lush green lawns -which still have some bare patches but quickly vanishing-- and I'd be furious if a neighbour started mowing not knowing whether I'd just fertilised/reseeded. I have a plan and I don't care if someone thinks my lawn looks in need of a mow.

TheMagicKeyCanFuckOff · 12/08/2013 12:30

I would be annoyed with your SIL. A friendly couple who were retired lived next door, loved the garden, would ask us occasionally if they could mow our lawn. In return, we'd go around after and say thanks and they'd pop in every now and then, we'd mow their law and water their flowers (I've never actually watered mine, but they see it as important, so I did it for them) after asking if they wanted to. As a nice gesture, great. But to do it without asking is just wrong.

PeterParkerSays · 12/08/2013 12:38

They have a baby and a toddler and she wonders why they don't mow their lawn twice a week? Did she adopt her child at age 4 or has she just forgotten how all encompassing those ages are? They're doing well to get everyone washed and dressed!

If your DSIS's happy to mow their lawn, she should ask them if they'd like it doing when she mows hers, and get on with it, or leave well alone and just mow her own grass. Should they come out with tea and thanks? No, they haven't asked her to do it.

Does DSIS take tea out to the men who fix pipes in the road because they're doing something that she hasn't asked them to do but which will benefit her? Thought not.

coldwater1 · 12/08/2013 12:45

I would also mow the other half and wouldn't expect a thanks or anything. I do that now with my neighbours strip of grass, no point leaving it overgrown if i have my mower out.

In my old house i used to mow and cut my elderly neighbours hedge and grass when i did mine, she did thank me but i did if to help her out, not to expect something back.

GhostsInSnow · 12/08/2013 12:47

Was very much the done thing in the 70's/80's. My parents had a front lawn as did next door, there was a small fence dividing. Whoever got to it first usually mowed both and a cup of tea was usually offered to the 'mowee'. Went on that way for years until they both decided to have the lawn ripped out and gravelled. The neighbour recently died aged 90 but even before she died if either her or Mum were out pottering and weeding they would do the other side.

Mum has a shared hedge with the other neighbour and he will always trim her side if he does it first. If Mum gets to it before him she will do his side.

I do find it a bit odd that the neighbours never mention it though, wouldn't bother me having someone mow my lawn but I'd have to thank them.

Oldraver · 12/08/2013 12:48

I would be annoyed if a neighbour took it upon themselves to mow our lawn dandelions. We actually leave ours until the dandelions have bloomed, they look so lovely. Plus we didnt have a mower at the start of this year as ours broke last August.

I did see the grown up DC's of our new next door neighbour laughing at our lawn

MerylStrop · 12/08/2013 12:51

if she wants the lawn cut more often than they do, she should just do it and be grateful they let her.

Tee2072 · 12/08/2013 12:54

I pay a guy twice a month to mow my lawn. Twice a week is nuts.

If she wants it mowed that much, she should mow it.

h0lym0ly · 12/08/2013 12:56

i share a small patch of lawn round the front with my neighbours. they moved in abt 18m ago and have mowed it only the once. i've always mown all of it and don't really mind. their back garden oth! they mow it once every three months and have piles of crap in one corner (my side) that i suspect is attracting vermin. not sure i'd ever raise it with them though - the mum is really very confrontational.

scallopsrgreat · 12/08/2013 12:56

Why is SIL assuming it is the woman next door's responsibility to mow the lawn Or is she a single parent?

Anthracite · 12/08/2013 12:57

Why doesn't she just mow her own side?

scallopsrgreat · 12/08/2013 12:59

I suspect her neighbours just think she's slightly unorthodox and just let her get on with

Pachacuti · 12/08/2013 12:59

If I had a lawn I wouldn't want it mown twice a week. I like daisies in lawns, and would mow mine when I started losing the smaller DCs in there when I thought it really needed it. I certainly wouldn't be thanking anyone who unilaterally decided to cut it twice a week "for" me.

ginmakesitallok · 12/08/2013 13:03

Web have a shared lawn, and take it in turns to mow it. Gets done about once a fortnight or so. If we were sharing the task with our neighbours on other side we'd need to do it every couple of days!

lljkk · 12/08/2013 13:12

I would be happy to let NDN mow but I would be peeved if they hadn't actually asked. SIL is BU.

DoubleMum · 12/08/2013 13:18

We have a shared lawn, and probably mow it slightly more than our NDN, who has a few health problems. We were told that's what had happened when we moved in, and we continued with it. No thanks or asking needed. It's lucky if it gets done twice a month though, never mind twice a week. If my NDN cut it twice a week I'd think he was slightly crazy, and I certainly wouldn't be mowing it in between.
Your SIL can come round and do the lawn this week though if she likes, we've just got back off holiday and it's horribly overgrown, probably won't get a chance to do it until the weekend. (Note, the NDN wasn't away and he hasn't done it!)

littlewhitebag · 12/08/2013 13:18

Twice a week cannot be bad for the grass. I live on a golf course and they cut the grass every day. It looks bloody fantastic!

toffeelolly · 12/08/2013 13:49

My father brings out and in ndn bins and they get him 24pack of beer every couple of months, and also get him a little something at Christmas.

LRDYaDumayuShtoTiKrasiviy · 12/08/2013 13:52

Yeah, I would think she was nuts.

The first 'grown up' place I lived in had shared grass across the front, and someone had planted it with wildflower seed ages back. The bloke next door to me moved in and decided to mow it all to the ground and everyone else was extremely catsbum at him about it. So I'd use that as inspiration and claim piously that I was encouraging bees or something.

Also, the noise of someone cutting grass twice a week would drive me mad, and I don't have two small children interrupting my sleep anyway.

SilverOldie · 12/08/2013 14:12

When your SIL has finished with her and ndn's lawns, can she come and mow my mostly weeds lawns? I will thank her profusely and even offer a drink and some cake.

RobinSparkles · 12/08/2013 14:33

Mowing the grass twice a week isn't bad for the grass - it's better for grass to be trimmed little and often. Personal preference, I guess.

OP, your SIL does seem a little nutty though.

Flip

1 2 3 4