Please tell me I'm not wrong

[Pinkpinot]

H in right mood this morning, Monday morning, hates work, stressed, tired, back hurting
But I'm not getting out of bed at 5am to iron the trousers that you knew needed ironing last night
Especially when you have done absolutely nothing all weekend, lay on the couch, and were out on the piss massively on thurs and Friday
He's gone off in a right strop

My DH works very long hours. I do all the washing as I really like doing washing. However I do not iron DHs clothes as I hate ironing. Your DH needs to man up and sort out his stuff in advance of needing it. You are not his skivvy!

Why is he still in a huff?

So, he sends me a message saying he is going for a drink with a colleague, he wants to discuss something
Now he sends me a message saying " sorry, I'm out tonight"

Where the fuck is the respect there?

He hates work, hates his boss, she's a 'cunt 'apparently

I'm always interested by the "Division of Labour" on threads like this.

Me and DH both work F/T (but our kids are grown and away) and we have a sort of casual arrangement.

We both put on washes when needed but each iron our own stuff.

I tend to do most of the cleaning, he does a lot of the cooking, puts bins out.

DH does all of the gardening, car maintenance (and car washing) and DIY.

BUT if I was not working I'd take over the ironing and cooking because if I didnt then DH would be doing more than his fair share after working long and stressful hours.

Does your DH do gardening, bins, DIY, car maintenance OP?

He will mow the lawn( tiny)
Bins- no
DIY-haha
Car-no

pink how about a text back:
ok. if you need any work trousers though don't wake me up at 5am tomorrow expecting me to iron them. pink

Sorry - meant to add that the Trouser incident isn't the real problem here is it?

Oh, so he doesn't really do any "domestic" stuff then?

Was he always like this?

Bollocks, he's coming home now.
I thought that text meant he was out for the night

He did do stuff when we moved in, painting and stuff
Tbf, he doesn't have the time or energy for it

When he arrives home, tell him you're going out with a friend and pop off to the pub for an hour or so. Sounds like you could do with a bit of light relief.

Shocking night last night
Have no idea how to respond
He was crying about some family stuff, which I just cannot comprehend
Honestly I think he's looking to excuse his behaviour

Is he trying to manipulate you into feeling sorry for him so that you'll do what he wants do you think, or is he genuinely distressed about something?

Well, kind of a bit of both
I think he knows his behaviour is inexcusable, so has turned to a very valid family situation to prove how stressed he is.
I think he's being v dramatic, but then it's something that's really affected him over the years, so how could I understand

I'm soo miserable
Ds and I are watching puss in boots in bed

I think you really need to tell him how miserable you are. there's no way to attempt to get it working or even give him one last chance if you don't. though if you don't want to give him another chance you should still let him know.

Any talk about how I feel will be met by
You are lucky you don't gave to work
You should be grateful
You get to be at home with dc
I hate my job
My boss is a cunt
I'm so miserable

You get the picture

He sounds depressed, which could also explain his lying around all weekend and avoiding tasks associated with going back to work.

I think he needs to talk to his Gp maybe?

If he works, and you are a sahm, do your job woman!

I forced him to go to the gp, serious resistance at first.
He gave him ads
Which he keeps running out of, because he's soo busy
And he drinks
So he has to start over
He started again last night
His moods are unbearable

He sounds an arse. Ltb

How about?
I'd rather work than live with you
My H is a cunt
I am exceptionally miserable and so are the DCs
Do something or eff off

FFS why do people roll out the 'being a SAHM must be luxury' script all the time. It isn't.
Some people are suited to it some aren't , barely any sleep, time to wash, get dressed and thats just your basic stuff you can kiss goodbye to privacy, me time, any social life and if you do get one you can guarantee it comes last to your OH's.You spend every waking minute, of every day, week, month, year being the staple in your childs life , food,toilettraining,discipline only to be pushed aside for the more fun parent who comes home everday.
, being A SAHM, is the hardest and least respected job there is. It is not a huge luxury bestowed upon by loving Husbands that we should thank our lucky stars for.

Thanks octopus

I'm a SAHM and therefore do all the washing/ironing though I never do iron anything but ONCE dp woke me at 6am and asked me why he had no clean pants, once, he has never and will never do it again, I will wash his things, but only if they are in the basket, and would have done a wash if he had told me 2 days before that he was running low. Me growling this at him seemed to be enough for him to skulk off

Seriously though if DP had this attitude with me, I would not be happy!

I sympathise op. I made the mistake of letting dh rip the piss for years over all the household work falling to me as I was made to feel worthless for being a sahm.

Now I know its bollocks and I make him pull his weight more but the ironing thing pisses me off too. If dh doesn't have a shirt ready in the morning he has been known to wake me up at 6am and ask why not!!

Was a time I would have got up and bloody ironed it too-ha!-now I just ignore him and go back to sleep.