To be really fed up with reverse aibus?

[K8Middleton]

Is this a thing now? I keep seeing outrageous aibus that turn out to be reverse ones and it is really very annoying. Why not just openly lay down the facts from your point of view like err, normal?

Nobody can ever know all the ins and outs of what another person is thinking or feeling at the best of times but when someone has their own agenda and bias they are just pointless.

Not a reverse aibu before some smart arse suggests that

Ezza you can usually tell because the writer is so clearly being unreasonable.

Example;

A sweet, attractive and well dressed customer in my restaurant asked for free hot water to go with her 5 course meal. WIBU to pour it on her head and then dragon kick her puppy?

Completely pointless and confusing. Yadnbu.

Sigh. I've apologised for any upset caused by mine - and I came clean really fast. I already explained why I did it - because I know people can be more sympathetic to someone when talking directly to them than they otherwise might have been. And in the case of mine (can't speak for anyone else) I didn't include anything that hasn't been specifically said to me, and I omitted other facts (relevant to me!) that my parents are not aware of and so would not write about.

I'm sorry if it seemed manipulative, but I wanted an accurate response (I was expecting at least some people to tell me that my mother was right!) and tried my absolute best to be fair and representative.

Well I'm not a huge fan of them (not a fan of people who don't RTFT either, but that's another thread) but I can see sometimes how it might be somehow helpful for an OP to write one, for example if they were being gaslighted and really had trouble knowing which way is up...

I would prefer a completely neutral AIBU though as someone upthread mentioned, A did such-and-such, B did so-and-so etc.

Endless I have't actually seen yours, I'm guessing it's the one linked to up thread.

Tbf you did come clean quickly, it's just when you've been here a while you see loads of the bastards.

With yours, read it back, your mother sounds like a hell beast and you certainly don't need a degree to have a successful life

Actually I have no idea who you are Endless so no need for sighing. This isn't about you. Are you the op of the thread linked that I hadn't read until it was posted? I only read the op but didn't really take much notice of who the op was. Apologies if that wasn't you.

Any way, my point still stands. You can't know everything someone else is thinking and so you can never present an unbiased account so why bother? You don't learn anything new that you wouldn't have learnt if you'd just told it straight.

I feel like every thread I read has Is this a reverse AIBU ad infinitum. It's boring.

Ohhhhhhh... I get it! (feel such a dumbass for commenting on another thread earlier) :-(

Actually, K8, I wasn't talking to you particularly, so need to be so defensive.

Okaaay

I know it becomes difficult to follow to a point, but to be honest, I found all of the replies useful - even those which only responded to the OP; the bulk of the issue was laid out in the OP & even those who took it totally at face value told me things that I needed to hear (even if they hadn't been 'on my side', I just wanted other points of view). I found all of the posts on my thread to be useful, although I am sorry that it became confusing / frustrating to other people.

I absolutely fucking hate, hate, hate reverse AIBUs.

On principle anyone posting one is automatically being fucking unreasonable and should just fuck the fuck off.

The reason I hate them so much is that they're utterly manipulative and disingenuous.

Yes but what do you really think Shelley?

Yes but what do you really think Shelley?

Sorry, I should have made my opinion clear.

I don't really care for them so much, K8.

Blimey, a lot of anger and ranting on MN tonight. Rough day?!

Anger and ranting on MumSnet? Heaven forbid! Are you new, pet?

Not sure where the random S came from?

They don't really bother me that much to be honest. I can see how the replies would be useful for somebody like Endless in trying to figure out where her Mum is coming from were people to agree with the OP. Obviously a reverse AIBU isn't the most objective measure, but what is when you feel stuck?

Some are ridiculous, but no more ridiculous than plenty of other AIBU threads that are not reversed. "AIBU to have stepped in and helped this old lady cross the road whilst everyone else threw rocks at her?"

Yes, yes you were. Should have let the hag die a stony death. Obviously.

They do my fucking head in.

The OP can't be sure of the motivation of the person she/he is pretending to be so it's still completely one sided.

They're so pointless and, IMO, attention seeking. Done for more impact or to stir things up a bit.

Otherwise, why not just post as yourself and lay out the facts?

I don't get it.

I quite like them. This is a forum for people, and if someone thinks it will help them get a better perspective (as in Endlessinanity's case) then Im all for it.

If you don't like the reverse AIBU, stop reading AIBU.

Endless you were not being manipulative it was a generalisation.