To be so upset that a woman & her 2 children were given my (pre-booked online for an additional charge) plane seats?

[lalalady1971]

My DP and I flew to Cyprus last year on holidays. I'm a really nervous flyer but I get through it with mental preparation and don't want to let it stop me as we go away every year with my mum & dad, sister & husband and niece/nephew so it's a lovely get-together. (They live in different parts of the country so fly from different airports).

Part of my nerves-beating prep is pre-booking seats so I know exactly where we'll be sitting. I take a bit of time with this and look at the seats layout on the airline website, even down to the position of the window next to the seat so I'm definitely able to sit as calmly as possible without having to sit forward/twist my head backwards to see out (some seats have mainly plastic wall with the window further forward or back). This prob sounds very weird but part of it is extreme claustrophobia and being able to see outside/having a window really helps.

We paid a premium and pre-booked specific seats online, with extra legroom (my DP is 6ft 2) and a window seat with the window in the perfect position. All my mad requirements met so I felt ok! I also feel really self-conscious about my nervousness and sometimes retch a bit if I start feeling particularly anxious, so I like to be "cocooned" and safe in my window seat, hidden from others.

Soooo (sorry for such a long preamble!!), we get on the plane with our boarding passes and seat numbers (check-in acknowledged that we had booked our seats online already) only to find a woman and her 2 children (they looked about 8 & 10) sitting in our seats....with boarding cards with her original seat numbers scribbled out and our seats written on.

The stewardess approached and curtly asked what was the matter. I explained that there seemed to be some mistake as I'd pre-booked these seats. She went off to check and came back saying that someone had presumably gone through the seating plan at the gate and moved us as the woman had not pre-booked seats but needed to be seated with her children and the airline had to allow for that, so she had two new seat numbers for us.

I politely explained that I was a very nervous flyer and had specifically booked these seats (and paid extra for them!) so was there any way she could ask along the rows around if a different 3 people would mind moving as there were lots of gaps further down the plane but she said no, they'd updated the computer system at the gate so there was no way round it. (This made me feel even worse as I immediately thought, oh god it's so they know who's in which seat if the plane crashes and people die!!). At this point the woman in the seat stood up and said "Look, can't you see that I have children?! Obviously we need these seats more than you!", I was a bit taken-aback but said that I'd actually paid for these seats and if she was really that worried why didn't she pre-book seats so that they were guaranteed seats next to each other. She said she didn't need to, why on earth should she pay extra when she had children, the airline had to seat them together anyway. Followed by large amounts of smugness and smirking.

The stewardess then started tutting, saying the captain would go mad if we missed the take-off slot so we just needed to get into our seats. Oh god. Our new seats. It was my worst nightmare. She led us to the two seats halfway down the plane right next to the large exit doors. No window, just a door to my right with multiple emergency signs (and a bloody key in it with a massive red label on it saying "REMOVE AFTER TAKE-OFF" which stayed in for the whole flight!! (I was too mortified to ask anyone if it should really still be in the lock during the flight!). No seats in front of us so I felt massively exposed (and no seat-back for my crash position!!!), just a big gap then the next row. (Couldn't fault the leg-room though!). Plus a weird gap to my right as the two seats were slightly off-set so the window seat behind me had a bit of a half-gap in front of it. Through this gap, every 10 minutes or so, came a small child belonging to the couple sitting behind us. But the gap was a bit tight so the little girl was grabbing onto my arm-rest/arm to haul herself through, stepping on our feet as she came cackling past and grabbing my DP's knee to fling herself round the corner back into her parents' row. After an hour of this I turned to the couple and said "I'm sorry to be a pain but it's actually really annoying, d'you mind stopping her doing this" and they just looked at me (through the 20 mini wine bottles) and said it was keeping her quiet and it was a long flight for a little child so no, they couldn't.

Arghhh!! Dreadful experience. I felt really exposed and really anxious for the whole flight. Just horrible.

On a final note, the stewardess delivered my DP's pre-booked/paid meal to our original seats and the bloody woman took it and ate it!! My DP enquired as to where his meal was and, after 10 mins of him explaining what had happened with the seats (different stewardess!) she said she'd taken his meal to the original seat and it was accepted! She agreed to bring him a meal, but it had to be the vegetarian option now as they'd run out of standard meals...I was sorely tempted to say something to the woman at the baggage travelator thingy at the other end but by that point I was a bit of a wreck and couldn't be arsed with anything other than a large glass of wine!! (And she was still throwing the smug smirks my way so I didn't want to give her the satisfaction of showing I was bothered...)

I emailed Monarch when we got home and received a template email back saying, basically, tough shit, read the small print, we have the right to move you, this woman had children!! Yep, sorry about the meal but it's easily done as meals are allocated to seat numbers, not names and we have the right to change your meal, that's on the small print too.

We had a lovely holiday but we're off again in October to Turkey, again with Monarch (limited airline choice for date/time from our airport) and I'm utterly paranoid that this may happen again. Wonder if I should email Monarch in advance....or am I just over-reacting and being unreasonable??!

(And finaaaaally! I was pretty upset at that woman. I like to think if that were me I'd at least acknowledge the unfairness of the situation and say to the stewardess to be fair she has pre-booked and paid extra for these seats and is a nervous flyer, couldn't you just ask along the rows if anyone else would be happy to change seats? Or AIBU??!)

I'm a pretty confident, happy-go-lucky person in real life, it's just flying that turns me into a nervous wreck....maybe I just need to grow a pair!!

Yes children should be with a parent, of course, but MONARCH should not take money from people for prebooking and then move them to accommodate parents who are basically sneaking around the system. It is the airline's responsibility to create a system that works as this clearly does not. I would not be at all happy in the OP's position and equally I wouldn't want to have a child next to me away from its mum. It's completely mad.

If you have mobility difficulties the airline is not allowed to seat you in an aisle seat for take off and landing.

I always book in as a disabled passenger with mobility difficulties. Most airlines reserve an aisle seat for me as they think it will be easier for me to access. Except Ryanair, they reserved the entire row and made the others who wanted to sit there wait until after I had chosen which one would be most suitable. I normally get on last as I can't cope with all the stressy pushing and shoving for seats and locker space.

How long before you flew did you try to pre-book your seats Evil?

If a DC had SN I would phone the airline at the time of booking to inform them, most are very accommodating. I need assistance in the airport, on the aircraft etc, I phone them before I book to make sure there will not be a problem. I never leave it to chance. My problems are my problems, not everyone else's on the plane, hence why I sort it before I fly.

Last year despite doing everything I could, Thomson treated me terribly. I will never fly with them again. The whole holiday was horrendous, hence why I complained and got every penny back, plus compensation.

This year Jet2 prebooked our seats. I would not have moved for anyone. Not one person. I need someone to help me out of my seat, and as there were only 3 of us going this time we decided to book to sit together instead of 2+2 as in previous years.

We tried a few weeks in advance- we were flying with Virgin and they don't actually make it clear that you should do so. Mind you, it doesn't cost extra- it's just part of the online check-in process, which you can only do 24 hours in advance.

God, I'm angry for you, OP. I used to be a very nervous flier, not so much now, fortunately. I might recommend trying some mindfulness exercises to help you relax on the plane.

But seriously, that woman was a grade A shitebag. What a crap example to set her DCs. Write to the Guardian Money section's problem page, see if they can at least get you back the money you're due. Review the hell out of Monarch anywhere you can online.

If parents are so blimmin' worried about their children, then they should book early. Your child's right to be feel safe is not more important than an adult's right to feel safe. If, for whatever reason, families are unable to book in time to get seats together, they should contact the airline and not just turn up on the day. I agree with a PP that it should be mandatory for parents to have to book seats to ensure they are seated with their children.

Oh it's a shame they don't make it clear, Evil. Maybe they need to revamp their website.

DBro flew to the States with Virgin at Christmas, He could book his seats 90days before IIRC.

Imagine if something did happen during the flight, the mother would need to assist the children in the event of an emergency, an 8yo child would be trampled over in a dash to get out......it makes sense to me from a safety pov. It's the airline who are in the wrong by charging in the first place and by not putting families together when they automatically book therefore the seats showing up as booked.

candy are you serious? A child's right to feel safe is no more than an adults'

I am really wondering whether some posters on this thread even know any children, let alone have them.

As an adult, one is able to understand the physics behind flying, to rationalise fears (to an extent) to understand how to minimise risks or to put into place routines to help minimise the fears. A child has no such facility - especially under the age of 10. Are posters really advocating a "suck it up" approach to small children flying? If so, then can I ask how you'd have felt sitting next to DD who threw up when we were landing? She couldn't move because the seat belt light was on.

It's not about a child's right to "feel safe", it's about them actually being safe.

It was nice driving to France this year instead of flying with my three, some people are just so intolerant........especially British people, they are kids fed, if your fear of flying is that bad then don't fly, no form of public transport runs at 100% predictability.

Presumably the silly cow didn't realise she'd have to pre book seats as if she was that bothered about them sitting together she would've made it a priority surely

Honestly Evil I would have gone bat shit because I am an emetophobe and go out of my way to avoid that sort of situation, hence another reason why I prebook seats.

Last time we flew with Virgin (admittedly 3 yrs ago) booking seats didn't happen at all - in fact, DH and I joked about how it must be something Virgin is now doing to save money - the person who previously booked the seats no longer has a job. What was really frustrating is that we called the day before because we couldn't do the online check in - the website didn't tell us why so I phoned. We now think it's because we hasn't reserved our seats, but the customer service person, who was able to see our booking etc, didn't mention it. 3 yrs ago, no need to pre-book seats, we were all together.

I find it outrageous that we are expected to pay extra for basic safety on a flight. It is similar to being charged extra for seatbelts imo.

I will never book seats while the airline informs me with HUGE letters (not even the smallprint) that children under the age of 16 will be seated with adults in their party.
Am I entitled to it? of course I am, like I am entitled to my tax credits, to free healthcare and to walking down the street without being assaulted. Someone's OFFERING me a service and I AM accepting it. If they tried to separate me from my children, after having offered me the service, I would kick up a fuss as they did not keep their word.
Similarly they did not keep their word to the OP.
I don't see how this can be resolved other than the airlines taking some responsibility for fair and sensible seat allocation.

btw, this is NOT playing the system, it's playing by the rules.

I want to know what airline justforlaughs is talking about, can't believe they'd seat a 3 year old alone and in tears and that no one would swap

So maja00 if you don't pay for prebooking and you aren't seated together do you expect to take the seats of someone who has prebooked and paid?

If you choose not to prebook it would surely be sensible to check in really early on flights where seats are allocated.

Absolutely - if someone else loses seats they have paid extra for due to the airline's poor policies, then they should complain loudly.

twilight3 if they make it clear that service exists without paying for prebooking of course they should honour it. They should put procedures into place to ensure they can. I doubt if anyone wants to see children separated from their parents.

I blame the airline entirely. If they charge people extra for certain seats then they should get them. Airlines think they can treat people exactly how they like. It's either put up or shut up. Write to a newspaper and get them exposed for the fraudsters they are. Taking people's money under false pretences and hiding behind small print.

You expect to take seats that people have prebooked and paid for? Seriously?

Twilight which airlines inform you in huge letters that children under 16 will be seated with adults in their party?

Seriously, I expect children to be seated safely, for the safety of ALL passengers, and I will not pay extra for basic safety.