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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be scared of giving birth

112 replies

Holly94 · 09/08/2013 13:00

Probably am BU as I know it's a bit late in the day to be worrying about this but I bought a week by week pregnancy book. I made the mistake of looking in the giving birth section. I'm 15+1 so got a good 25 weeks or so (hopefully) to go just yet, but I'm now terrified.
It gave really detailed description of how you can feel burning, searing pain etc.
I'm scared of all the things that can go wrong too! And do episiotomies hurt?!

OP posts:
cory · 10/08/2013 12:17

I remember the midwife on the ante-natal ward walking out halfway through the educational labour film because she thought it looked horrible. But she was clearly able to cope with the reality Wink

pianodoodle · 10/08/2013 13:13

Sparklingbrook - My memory from DS1's birth was when they wheeled the glass crib thingy in and I suddenly thought 'OMG there's going to be a baby in that in a minute and it's going to have come out of me!' And there was-and it was lovely and magical and so worth the 9 months and the pain

That's funny one of my strongest recollections of DD's birth is exactly this! All of a sudden they brought the crib in and it just felt really "real" - and also a relief because it made me think if they're bringing that in we must be nearly done now!

Sparklingbrook · 10/08/2013 13:14

YY piano the sudden realisation that a baby was going to appear. Grin Even though I had known that for months. Grin

Thumbwitch · 10/08/2013 13:47

My first stage 2 contraction, I actually thought I was going to poo on the bed and tried to stop it, even despite the hypnobirthing thing - but it hurt SO much trying not to, that next time I just let it happen. There was no poo - the earlier contractions I'd had had cleared me out completely in the loo (I always need the loo even with period pains!) and my waters had gone down the loo as well! I must have been about 5 times prior to going into stage 2 labour, so there really wasn't anything left. :)

5madthings · 10/08/2013 14:04

thumbwitch I am the same, early labour I need the look loads! Ditto with period cramps, I often end up with an upset tummy and need the look loads, so once I got to pushign stage there was nothing left to come out except the baby!

I do remember each time thinking fuck it hurts and not wanting to push but then mentally thinking, its nearly all over and knowing that and so just let my body get on with it ams the relief the second the body slithers out after the head is amazing. With ds4 he was in the pools and his head was out for a bit before his body and I re,member looking down at it and it was just bizarre, then the next contraction pushed him out.

It is scary, I have found it scary each and every time but enjoyable as well, I would happily do it again if we and a bigger car/house and more money!

jammiedonut · 10/08/2013 14:17

Yanbu to be scared. It is painful and hard work. There are ways to prepare yourself so you are better equipped to deal with it when it happens. Read up on interventions, pain relief, hypnobirthing if you're that way inclined and be prepared to throw out any preconceived ideas you had of labour and childbirth when the day arrives.
The best advice I had was to throw away my birthing plan (I wanted a waterbirth with no pain relief). I arrived at the hospital to find no pools available and was in considerably more pain than I'd expected- baby was back to back and over 9lbs. I had to make done quick on the spot decisions to regain control, but once I had I was fine. Ditto 12 hours later when I was refused any pain relief apart from paracetamol. The situation changes so quickly. Try to educate yourself and don't panic!

jammiedonut · 10/08/2013 14:19

Was still able to leave hospital within 8 hours with my first baby too!

intheduskwiththelightbehindher · 10/08/2013 15:52

I had to psych myself for the birth much as I did for my driving test. I looked around and thought 'if x can do it, so can I'. Millions of women have given birth, and so can you. Be prepared ( read up, plan ahead) keep yourself fit and healthy, and think how wonderful it will be to hold your baby. Oh, and enjoy being pregnant - no-one will ever make such a fuss of you again!

shufflehopstep · 10/08/2013 16:03

It's perfectly normal. I watched a programme on how human beings had evolved and how the birth process in human's was different to other animals (random Horizon programme or something). I still in the early months, similar to you and it was the biggest mistake - I was in tears. However, I learnt a valuable lesson - not to watch anything like that again before I had the baby. One Born Every Minute was strictly out of bounds and even watching Call the Midwife - which isn't even real - was a bit tricky.

It can't stay in there forever so there's no point worrying about it. Just make sure you're eating well and staying active and enjoy being pregnant because even though you have a beautiful little baby in your arms, you will miss the bump. Most people I know agree. It'll all be fine. Smile

Diamond7 · 10/08/2013 16:08

Haven't read all 5 pages but recommend a book called Stand and deliver.

Also tens machine and not lying on your back if it can be helped. Walk lots in early labour.

You will be fine. As pp said it is manageable.

Mummyoftheyear · 10/08/2013 16:46

I was discarded that it was a sort of phobia. I tried Natal Hypnotherapy (course and CDs every night). Didn't work that much. But having my first baby did! Worst nightmare... no epidural and crap midwives (weren't with me in room) BUT I was able to deal with it. I then knew that I could handle it.
Went privately second time though.

ovenbun · 10/08/2013 19:45

I am pregnant and it is very daunting isn't it! I think the last weeks of pregnancy are designed to make us so big and uncomfortable to make us long for labour instead of dreading it :)

I think some of the comments about anaesthetics and medicines are a bit unnecessary...the medication used in labour is heavily research based, although some things work better and worse for different people you'd have to have a pretty unusual body/brain/nervous system for it not to work...any consultant lead maternity unit has anaesthetic cover...yes there is not one anaethestist per woman...and they do not have endless time and resources, also there is only a limited window within your labour when you can have an epidural, so yes you may be asked to make a quick decision...I think that's a very long way from bullying...yes midwifery lead units can not give much pain relief and do not offer epidurals...these choices are very clearly explained to people when you book or look online :)

I love the thought that this is the only good pain you will ever feel :)

xxxxx

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