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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU or is DH re work

112 replies

hannibalismisunderstood · 05/08/2013 12:37

Hi,

DH works in a small healthcare setting and a little while ago a vacancy came up that would be his line managers line manager. I thought it looked perfect for me and so I applied... I haven't heard if I have been shortlisted for interview but DH is now saying it would be a conflict of interest and he feels uneasy about it and wants me to withdraw my application...

AIBU is saying no, I won't or is DH BU for asking me to?

OP posts:

WaitMonkey · 13/08/2013 21:22

Just read this thread for the first time. Your dh sounds pathetic to be honest. Good luck with the interview, when is it ? I'd be making plans to LTB if I where you. Good luck.

DontmindifIdo · 13/08/2013 21:34

I would tell him, because he'll look a tit if the person interviewing you says "oh, I've got your wife in for interview today" and he doesn't know anything about it.

If you get it, then you make the decision. If not, it's good interview practice.

ChasedByBees · 13/08/2013 21:40

Are you still seeing him as STBX? Not that it matters, I wouldn't tell him either way TBH.

This company is:

one you introduced him to
one you are specially trained for
one he wants to leave (but is too lazy to get off his arse and do something about it)

Of course you should go for the job. If he really feels that strongly then he should take it as his impetus to follow his dreams and do something different, but something tells me he is the type who would rather just sit and complain that he hasn't had as many chances, it's too hard, it's your fault (for no specific reason) whine whine whine...

HeathcliffeItsMe · 13/08/2013 21:56

Good luck with the interview.

Merel · 13/08/2013 21:59

Where I work, it states in the HR handbook that people in a relationship or family members can't manage one another. Might be worth checking.

encyclogirl · 13/08/2013 22:07

Good luck at the interview!

Original poster

hannibalismisunderstood · 14/08/2013 11:14

thank you everyone... things have been better but we haven't discussed this at all so perhaps that has contributed to it. I think I will tell him as he will be working that day and it will be worse to not disclose it but probably not until the weekend...

I have another interview for a different job tomorrow too so am feeling reasonably positive! must prepare for that one now :D

Will keep you all updated

OP posts:

TheDoctrineOfJetlag · 14/08/2013 18:35

Good luck for both!

maddening · 14/08/2013 18:48

Good luck!

KeatsiePie · 15/08/2013 08:37

Good luck with both!

ChimeForChange · 15/08/2013 08:47

Good luck OP!

And if you get job offers go for the one you WANT not the one you're pressured in to!!

Cannot believe there were posters saying.... "ifhe doesn't want you to be his boss you should respect that" !!

ratbagcatbag · 15/08/2013 08:48

Good luck. It seriously sounds like he has issues with you earning more than him but can't be arsed to do anything about it.

My dh can't wait for me to earn more as he's twenty years older than me and we have a five month old. If we can clear the mortgage in 8 years he wants part time and dealing with school runs etc. :)

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