To say that she cannot come as well?

[cantsleep]

I have not been well recently so as a surprise dh booked a spa day for me and dd and also SIL as we get on well, he has booked and paid for it.

SIL also has a teenage dd a year older than my dd. Dh hadn't invited her as well as for a start it would add an extra £100 to the bill and secondly she is always having manicures etc and dd has never had any treats like this.
SIL hadn't said there was a problem at all but today MIL phoned demanding to know why my dd was going and not SIL dd (who is her favourite gc by her own admission). In the end dh said he would have to add her to it as mil was just getting more annoyed.

To be fair, dd said she didn't really mind sil dd coming too but I am so annoyed. Many many times mil has taken sil dd to have similar treats NEVER included my dd1 yet won't allow dd to go to this with just me and sil.

I was so annoyed I told dh I will phone tomorrow and cancel it and just go alone with dd myself as I don't see why we should be pushed into paying for more than we can afford.

AIBU?

I think it's a bit odd the one girl being left out tbh.

It should have been just you and sil, just you and dd or all four of you imo. I'm just imagining me going on a spa day with my friend and her dd, but leaving my dd of the same age at home, it feels "off".

I don't doubt your mil is a pain in the backside but I couldn't bring myself to leave one girl out. I would certainly make the point to mil about your dd not being left out in future.

Definitely text back that you expect dd to be included in all her treats for dn in future, as obviously now she realises how unfair it is to leave one out. And call her on it in future.

Sister77

Dh had not asked sil to pay for herself as he didn't want me going alone with dd as he was worried I might feel unwell when there and wanted another adult there so he had said he would pay. He thought of sil as we get on so well.

Dh is lovely but forgetful and genuinely didn't mean to leave dn out in a nasty way, he simply didn't really consider it then mil moaned about it and he said it would put the cost up so much.

Sil said she would pay for herself if we wanted but wouldn't have the money for a few weeks and mil said as well sil can't really afford it and as dh had offered to pay initially for just sil he should be fair and also pay for dn.

Dh feels bad now as a treat that was meant to be relaxing has caused no end of stress and he is fed up at MIL's attitude.

I'm sure that whoever does/doesnt go it will be a lovely day and I am determined to enjoy it whatever as have had a bad few months.