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AIBU?

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Original poster

Another thread about facebook and judging other people's parenting

102 replies

catgirl1976 · 04/08/2013 12:22

A friend (work colleague really rather than friend) has just posted some mawkish shite about CIO and that she is "anti" it.

I wouldn't do CIO though we did use CC.

However, the thing that annoys me is, if you are "anti" a parenting technique, just don't do it. No one is forcing you to. You can parent your child any way you like. Why post about it on facebook? Just do what works for you and get on with your life FFS.

OP posts:
ThisReallyIsNotSPNopeNotAtAll · 04/08/2013 12:25

I dont have a clue what CIO is or CC

I'm just anti parenting. Less I do the better Grin

Original poster
catgirl1976 · 04/08/2013 12:27

Liking your style Grin

I can't wait till DS is past the "requiring constant beady-eyed supervision stage" and I can drink a coffee and read Heat whilst he runs amok at softplay, generating 100s of outraged MN threads in his wake :)

OP posts:
tethersend · 04/08/2013 12:27

"You can parent your child any way you like."

Yes, but within certain parameters.

Where these parameters lie is what causes the arguments.

I'm with SP Grin

Tee2072 · 04/08/2013 12:28

The only parameters I'm aware of include not abusing or neglecting.

Everyone can fuck off about anything else.

Original poster
catgirl1976 · 04/08/2013 12:28

Well yes, if you are doing anything illegal then obviously you can't do whatever you like

But sleep training is not illegal or really anyone else business.

I don't care if you co-sleep or CIO. It's not my child, so do as you wish. (obvious disclaimers about hurting them etc)

OP posts:
Original poster
catgirl1976 · 04/08/2013 12:29

x-post Tee

OP posts:
Cheesyslice · 04/08/2013 12:32

I remain baffled as to why some people feel a burning need to share so much about their lives and their parenting choices on Facebook. It's dull as fuck.

I'm not a particular fan of CC/CIO but that's my business and no one else's. I wouldn't post it on Facebook.

gamerchick · 04/08/2013 12:33

I get this on my Facebook as well.. Although I have to say it gets in my tit ends when the conversation grows and most people it seems can't tell the difference between CC and CIO.

That's the beauty of Facebook though.. If somebody feels a passion about something it ends up there... Whether its parenting, meat is murder, abortion, gays being allowed to marry etc etc etc.....

Original poster
catgirl1976 · 04/08/2013 12:35

Her post (copy and pastey picture thing) also said

"If my husband left me to cry like that, what would you think?"

I was very tempted to reply "If nothing bad had happened and you were not ill but you had been howling for hours on end, then as you are a grown woman I'd think you should pull yourself together and have a cup of tea".

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tethersend · 04/08/2013 12:35

Indeed. Personally, I am not anti CC for babies above a certain age- I'm just pointing out that you can't parent any way you like. There are laws in place to make sure that you parent appropriately.

Plus, lots of things are not illegal, but many people disapprove of it. Hitting for example.

Tee2072 · 04/08/2013 12:35

Some people need a lot of approval, so they post crap like this on FB to get the 'oh aren't you wonderful!' replies.

I spend a good part of my FB reading rolling my eyes. Or hiding people.

Original poster
catgirl1976 · 04/08/2013 12:37

I have hidden so many people :) I may have to add her to the list....

OP posts:
IslaValargeone · 04/08/2013 12:38

I don't even know what CIO or CC is, so God knows what kind of parent that makes me.

Original poster
catgirl1976 · 04/08/2013 12:40

To be fair, it's not the most annoying thing on Facebook.

I find people having domestic arguments or spilling the sordid details of their personal relationship issues on there much more annoying.

Virtual fishwifery.

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tethersend · 04/08/2013 12:44

The cryptic ones boil my piss.

Feeling down thanks to a certain someone WHO? WHY?

Excited! ABOUT WHAT?

And no, I won't ask because that's exactly what they want. Grr.

Original poster
catgirl1976 · 04/08/2013 12:46

God yes, those are horrendous

And then loads of

"Are you ok hun?"

"PM me hun"

comments underneath them.

Raaaaaaaaaaaage

OP posts:
RoxyFox211 · 04/08/2013 12:51

yanbu. Pet hate-facebook parenting. Annoyingly the people who do it seem to spend so much time on there they cant possibly have time to implement the million amazing (time consuming) parenting techniques and activities they so tirelessly promote.
One of the worst offenders i have ever known for it did some pretty negletful things to their child when they stayed round ours (wont say what because it will out me).Then they had the ball sack to condemn anyone who lets their child cry as abusive, a long with articles etc on bloody facebook. I flipped, even though i agree with the statement, its the bare faced hypocrisy. Angry

aderynlas · 04/08/2013 12:51

Had a conversation with someone saying cc cio abc xyz. Didn't have a clue, thank goodness for mn.

LilacPeony · 04/08/2013 12:53

I think it's fine for people to post their opinions on FB. Your friend thinks CIO is cruel and says so. If you don't agree then either explain why or ignore. I don't see the problem. If someone i knew said that they think it is cruel to send a child to school as homeschooling is better I wouldn't agree, but it wouldn't bother me the slightest that they had a different opinion from me. I'd either ignore or explain why i disagreed.

KirjavaTheCat · 04/08/2013 12:55

Sanctimommy is brilliant for this sort of thing. It's like a facebook alphaparent antidote.

Oh and:

"Omg devastated"
"wats up"
"Cant put it on here. Ill inbox u"
"just got ur msg, OMG HUN"
" i know :'("
"here 4 u xoxox"

What is the point in this? Can anyone explain why people do this? Why?!

Cheesyslice · 04/08/2013 12:59

kirjava Grin

On the flip side, I also find myself bombarded with 'attachment parenting' and breast feeding paraphernalia on Facebook. No problem with either of these things and an advocate of the former, but I don't care that much about anyone else's parenting choices, controversial or not, that I want to read about them continuallly on Facebook.

why the fuck am I on Facebook anyway?

Cheesyslice · 04/08/2013 12:59

Sorry I meant latter rather than former.

Original poster
catgirl1976 · 04/08/2013 13:00

But Lilac

I can understand saying you are anti-gay marriage or anti-racism or something on Facebook because it is a view which affects a greater range of people than just your immediate family. (Not that I am anti gay marriage)

Making your views known on big world issues can perhaps have some sort of impact and your support (or opposition) to a cause can be productive.

Making your views known on how you wish to parent your child just has zero impact on any one other than yourself. Whether you wear a baby sling, do or don't have a dummy, do or don't breastfeed etc etc really has zip impact on any one other than you and your DC. There really is no need to share.

You don't need to publicise you are anti CIO or formula or dummies or sugar or TV whatever else. You just need to choose not to do it for your child. The need to publicise is basically saying you are judging how other people might choose to parent. Which is really shitty IMO.

OP posts:
Fuzzysnout · 04/08/2013 13:00

Attention seeking.
They need a slap

Original poster
catgirl1976 · 04/08/2013 13:01

Oooh I think I need to check out Sanctimommy Grin

It sounds good!

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