Another thread about facebook and judging other people's parenting

[catgirl1976]

A friend (work colleague really rather than friend) has just posted some mawkish shite about CIO and that she is "anti" it.

I wouldn't do CIO though we did use CC.

However, the thing that annoys me is, if you are "anti" a parenting technique, just don't do it. No one is forcing you to. You can parent your child any way you like. Why post about it on facebook? Just do what works for you and get on with your life FFS.

I'm not saying its not annoying and people who do it should be shot with balls of their own shite .

'shot with balls of their own shite' 😄😄

FB pisses me off on general and yet I still check it every 5 freaking minutes. What's that about?? I also hate people's sanctimonious posts, they really grate on me. Along with the whole "feeling sad" pish just so someone, anyone will ask them what's up. Really. Who the fuck cares. I can feel my blood pressure rising just thinking about it.

On a side note I tried the PUPD method last night and this morning. Was fucking horrendous. My poor baby I gave up both times because she was getting hysterical and I felt like the shittest mother that ever was. Reverted back to "accidental parenting". What a load of tosh.

Can you tell I'm pissed off today

Facebook is shit though.

You've had more than one person say they don't now the acronyms you have used. Neither do I. Why not say what they are!

I said up above that CIO = cry it out. - leaving the baby to cry until they cry themselves to sleep.

CC = controlled crying - leaving the baby to cry for increasing intervals - but going in to reassure (without picking up I think?) every so often.

Perhaps if people would read the thread?

CIO is child abuse. You can parent your child how you like as long as you don't abuse or neglect him/her/them & see to their basic needs. CIO is essentially a barbaric parenting technique that involves a desensitised selfish parent raising a child to have lifelong abandonment issues. Bitch of a MIL is a prime example who has no bond with her son. According to dh he married me/ loves me because I am the polar opposite of his M. Rant over.

Thanks FrogsGoWhat.

I think we should be careful about what we call child abuse. Leaving a child to cry it out because you are at the end of your tether and can not cope is not neglect but survival for some.

I know someone so afraid to leave their child to it (when their child is throwing a tantrum) that they are 'helicoptering' and offering their full moral support.

Nobody gets it right all of the time. We would all do better if we were as quick to offer moral and practical support as we are to judge.

Thanks counting but I can assure you that I was neither desensitized nor selfish,I was falling with sleep deprivation and may I assure you that dd is a well adjusted and secure albeit stroppy and moody 11 year old.

Here here Nick

Same to you RexManning. I know what 22 weeks of sleep deprivation is like. It is torture.

It goes beyond sleep deprivation in fact. I know the child who doesn't sleep ever ...

What's the PUPD method? Sounds like some kind of disease ..

The ones who shout down CIO and CC probably have wonderful sleeping 7 to 7 babies.

Pick up put down.

Pickupputdown?

pick up put down

you pick them up till they stop crying then put them down

then pick them up the second they start crying

then put them down the second they stop

and repeat

really didn't work for us!

Cross posted!!

Sorry I should've explained that! I hate it when I see acronyms and have no idea what they mean.

It certainly wasn't working for us! My baby was sick from crying so much and I was supposed to continue this for possibly over an hour until she cried herself to sleep and up to 2 weeks at every nap and bed time until she went to sleep herself. After half an hour of this last night a quick shoogle and she fell asleep and didn't wake til 10 hours later! Gave up again this morning after she got more and more distraught and again after a quick shoogle she napped for an hour and a half.

I felt like I didn't have a clue what I was doing except making sure my baby had a full blown meltdown. Sigh. Back to square one.

I had the Incredible Unsleeping Baby. I never used CC or CIO. I co-slept and went to bed very very early for about 2.5 years.

Then, like a switch being flipped, he started to sleep. He's 4 now and I still expect him to wake up in the night several times!

There's something cowardly about using FB for this kind of statements - it's another form of passive aggression. It's done by people who are too timid to tell you to your face that they don't approve of the way you parent so they make a general announcement to the world.

I often wonder why people feel the need to be so sanctimonious. Most of the time I don't even approve of the way I parent, and regard myself as having failed in numerous respects, so why would I want to start making public pronouncements on other people's parenting?

yy Hackmum exactly that

I didn't use CIO so it's not that I feel defensive about the way I parent, I just hate the cowardly judging of how other people do it.

I don't have their baby and I am not them so I don't judge. (Well, I am human so I do judge the odd thing inwardly but I try not to and I certainly don't try and make other people feel like shit about what they do)