To think travelling in a car with small dcs is hell on earth?

[UnevenTan]

Go on, tell me how you do it then!

I have dcs aged 1-8 years. We can manage a max of 45 mins to 1 and a quarter hours (only once per day) at one stint before at least one, and more often two of them are literally screaming, and/or shouting. We take snacks, drinks, sticker books, there are electronic devices (I.e DVD players for those aged 3yrs upwards). The screaming forces us to stop, and once stopped it's an hour or more like 1.5hrs before there's a hope in hell of getting going again for more than 5 mins before a repeat performance.

How on earth do people go on holiday to France or Scotland? Or even anywhere 3 bloody hours away?

Last time we did a 3hr journey it took 7.5hrs, and even then the baby literally screamed until puce for the last 25 mins. It was torture .

I need to know what the secret is!

Ps please don't say travel at night, as (a) dh and I rarely get more than 5hrs of broken sleep a night, so too tired, and especially knackering the following day; (b) no-where to stop and go to loo or get coffee, and (c) last time we tried it, the oldest two stayed awake until we arrived at gone midnight.

If I stopped every time someone got distressed (I'm looking at you DD3) we would NEVER get there. DD3 isn't so bad now she's 6 but a couple of years ago she would have used that power to prevent us carrying on with the journey... not because there was anything wrong but just because she could!!

Loving the 'worlds' game-that's been safely tucked away. That and the hazchem set up, I'm collecting that together ahead of our next trip. Why hasn't I thought of aprons? Genius!!

uneven, I can confirm that 3 vomiting children can still bicker/squabble

A friend of mine (who basically grew up on long haul flights to interesting places that then required long drives over crap roads) has a delightful game called 'shithead'. You all hold a hand over your forehead. If the forehead is exposed you get a tap from someone else on it and you are then the shithead until you can tap. Sort of like tag!

I'm going to now say that 7.5 hours to do a 3 hour journey is no way for your family to live. Why not decide that this, as a family, is what you've got to crack. Pick a month and do one weekend with an hour journey somewhere fun, the next with another hour journey, the next with two and the next with a 2+. Tell the kids that you're going to do this so you can all practice and figure out ways to survive so you can go to interesting/fun places in the future. Get the older ones to work out some 'goal' destinations/activities they'd love to do but have to travel for. If they behave on the shorter runs (and that might be despite the younger ones being tricky) they get to choose a further afield one of their choice.

I'm doing 200 miles with a 2yo and a 5yo tomorrow so am reading this with interest.

Our usual plan is to take bite size snacks - sandwiches cut into tiny fingers, Haribo doled out one every ten miles, etc - and play music they like unless they whine/argue too much at which point it's Classic FM.

Also, I find it relatively easy to compartmentalise, so actually a lot of the time I'm simply not listening. I don't care if they are complaining or bickering so long as they're not killing each other. Important life lesson IMHO, to argue without bloodshed

We also set targets for the slightly travelsick 5yo to make sure he is looking out of the window, eg "you can have another snack when you've counted 100 red cars".

My brother and I were well behaved children but neither of us were any good at sleeping in the car; I'm still not. I get travel sickness and it was worse as a child. It was always hot, stuffy and unpleasant. I don't know why parents put young DCs through it, frankly.

YANBU. My two have travelled the 5 hours to the GPs several times a year since birth and I still dread it. DD1 stopped sleeping in the car well before she was 3. DD2 is 2.11 and has also stopped sleeping the car. I can nod off about 5 miles from home (if it wasn't for the whining from the back).

Luckily they have both reached the age where they will watch DVDs and entertain each other, but only in the last couple of months. Our last foreign holiday was in 2010 and we are actually feeling strong enough to ferry it to France next year. Luckily we live in the Westcountry and can do fab UK holidays within an hour of home.

It's just so hard when they won't sleep in the car, piriton and an exhausting few days at the GPs doesn't help. My two find settling to sleep difficult when not in their own beds. As an army brat I travelled stupid distances to see my GPs with car sickness so I can sympathise with their dislike of long journeys.

guilty as charged hada

thinking about it, why did I? we didn't need to go to France, Italy, whatever. Maybe it had something to do with all the other things I had had no choice but to give up as the only parent to my kids. Maybe I wasn't prepared to give up a bit of travel.

I do remember hiring a car in Greece somewhere. No petrol cap and I could see in the wing mirror the petrol sloshing out on the road as we drove along. If things are bad enough in your own car, try wrong side of the road, wrong side of the car. I took them on a drive 'to see the island' [fool!] through breathtaking scenary. Which I couldn't see because my hands were gripped to the steering wheel trying not to drive off a mountain. I kept saying 'look! look!' without looking, pointing vaguely in the direction of what I was sure was an awesome sight, but they were resolutely absorbed in their rucksack contents the entire way. What a waste. Another thing I never did again.

I don't really have anything constructive to offer you as mine just didn't do this.

We did and still do 2-day drives to the South of France on a regular basis. Everyone gets bored and feels stuffy during mega-drives.

The only thing I can suggest over and above what other posters have suggested is that you should not stop. Only stop after pre-allotted times - which for us was every 2.5 hours for half an hour. Otherwise journeys could take forever.

or the only viable parent, anyway

What about baby in the middle of the back seat, with older two each side? Annoying 3 year old in the front by the passenger window, and you in the middle at the front? Would that put them all within striking distance?

A thought.

I have just been investigating new booster seats for DC4 and it occurred to me some of them have a lot more comfort features than others, including inflatable pillows, summer covers, ventilation systems, footrests and so on. Perhaps upgrading car seats might be an option for some kids. Especially if they help pick one out.

We have always played loud Rock music (taste of parents) since they were babies. They enjoy it too. kids don't have any other form of entertainment as ds1 gets sick if he does.

Yesterday the radio broke in the hire car and they were beating up on each other.

If they ask how much further we always make a joke like 66 minutes exactly. This is a long standing carry on but still gets a laugh.

eye spy is better now that they know their letters

WetGrass - I love the Worlds game! Will have to remember that one

spring I did that in Crete. Old fiat panda with many faults. Drove up the mountains crapping myself at the sheer drop to my right.
I turned around in the end, terrifying.

I think different children react differently. Mine are 21 mths and just 4 and they are fine in the car. No cd's, DVDs, computers they do seem to just sit and look out the window. My youngest sleeps and I think my eldest goes off into her own little world chatting to herself. We do stop every 2 or 3 hours. They are normally excited about the trip.

Awful things car journeys. I always hated them. I particularly hated stopping at service stations. Don't go anywhere. That's one solution. I honestly think all the holidays I took when my children were very little were a waste of time and money. I wish I'd saved up the money for big trips now they are teenagers.

I think there is a massive difference if the dc are actually touching - any two in the back with a free middle seat - fine, put another dc in the middle and lots of annoying each other.
Feeling your pain!
Soooo happy for all the perfect parents out there that find it all sooo easy to do 8 hour trips.

We have found that DVDs / iPods etc, NO sweets or snacks, and a break every 2 hours does ease the pain though.

A few years ago I went on a holiday in Devon and Cornwall with some women gardeners. We did a camping holiday the oldest one was a nightmare but that's besides the point of this thread and we went to all the gardens we had sailed past for years with our kids. No point going in with kids.

in fact that was besides the point of this thread but there we go, it adds flavour.

How did you turn around on a mountain ledkr ? I was trapped on my mountain, only one way to go: up it and down again.

We travel 800 miles each way in the car for our summer holiday, and have done since DCs were 1 and 3 yo. The first year was the worst as 1yo objected to being strapped in for so long. But you have to lower your expectations. We stopped every 90 mins that year, only for a quick 5 minute walk around, and did quite a bit of whinge-ignoring!

They do get a bit fed up, but we try to stop for lunch at places with lots of outside space and preferably a park. In car DVDs help, as do audio books, and drawing/sticker books. I also find banning the phrase 'are we nearly there yet?' Is crucial!

I think OP that the problem for you is that your dcs aren't used to the car. When my dad was little she would sit in the pushchair all day whilst I browsed round shops, but because DS spent a lot less time in the pushchair, he would go crazy after 20 minutes.

Also, it must be hard being so squashed in. We've got a 6 Seater car a bit like yours, and having an empty middle seat is crucial for avoiding fisticuffs!!!

Fortunately DS1 (2.7) is a window gazer/ sleeper. Our record journey was Midlands to N Ireland via Scotland last year. We were dreading the 7hr drive to the port, but apart from one screaming session just before he went to sleep it went well, although an hout of playing droppits/ where's donkey on the M6 while crawling got tedious (not helped by morning sickness). We only made one stop. The hard bit was finding something allergen proof for him and something acceptable to random pregnancy food desires for me. (He got cold scampi and chips that I ended up slinging the £4 quid across the counter for as I was peed off with the excessive wait to pay at a quiet counter while the staff member tinkered with some ridiculous coffee machine)

DS2 is only a few months but has slept through a 2hr journey so far.

Cornwall in a few weeks will be interesting. We're going to a wedding so thought we'd get value out of the journey and turn it into our main holiday.

Oh dear OP, this has brought back fond memories of dangling my boob over a car seat, trying to feed DS while we were driving because I couldn't bear to stop yet again! I have nothing to add but sympathy and solidarity.

This is what my parents did;

1. Strap children into car.

1. Show children big bag of favourite sweets.

1. Explain to children that they get a sweet every ten miles. But if they whine, bicker or misbehave, the sweet gets chucked out the window.