To think travelling in a car with small dcs is hell on earth?

[UnevenTan]

Go on, tell me how you do it then!

I have dcs aged 1-8 years. We can manage a max of 45 mins to 1 and a quarter hours (only once per day) at one stint before at least one, and more often two of them are literally screaming, and/or shouting. We take snacks, drinks, sticker books, there are electronic devices (I.e DVD players for those aged 3yrs upwards). The screaming forces us to stop, and once stopped it's an hour or more like 1.5hrs before there's a hope in hell of getting going again for more than 5 mins before a repeat performance.

How on earth do people go on holiday to France or Scotland? Or even anywhere 3 bloody hours away?

Last time we did a 3hr journey it took 7.5hrs, and even then the baby literally screamed until puce for the last 25 mins. It was torture .

I need to know what the secret is!

Ps please don't say travel at night, as (a) dh and I rarely get more than 5hrs of broken sleep a night, so too tired, and especially knackering the following day; (b) no-where to stop and go to loo or get coffee, and (c) last time we tried it, the oldest two stayed awake until we arrived at gone midnight.

We drove to France in March with a 5 and 3 year old, so long stints on the road.
It was fine. I take lots of different things and dole them out periodically. So, a portable DVD player, a few books, a colouring book and crayons, a few small toys (cars/dinosaurs etc) and we also have dfs and my I phone. Car games such as eye spy also figure

I alternate giving them something 'entertaining' to do with just relaxing time where we'll chat.
They do get tetchy (as do df and I...driving long distances can be very boring) but no screaming/crying etc.

Your op said dc's between 1-8 btw and comes across like all the children severely misbehave. I don't think the pp was bu as I would not stand for an 8 year old (for instance) acting like a brat on a car journey.

My 9 year old goes on his ds for as long as he likes

My 6 year old chats, sings, moans, plays toys, reads books

maybe the trick is to have less than 4 kids

I'm youngest of four & our holidays were fraught with yells of I'm squashed in the back, she stinks of sick, turn the radio off I've got a headache

No idea how my dad drove through it!

I sympathise as both DDs used to cry in the back.

Could you rearrange the car seats to separate them? Maybe put one in front and you stay in the back with baby and the others? Having one in front used to work with DDs - now we have both in the back ok.

Or else bribe them No icecream/cakes/sweets/magazines/toys if there is any misbehaving.

I think you've just got very unreasonable dc's op, sorry. We took a one year old and 3.5 year old on holiday with a trip in the car consisting of about five hours with a lunch break in between. Yes they got a bit bored but they would never behave like yours do.

When yours get fed up and start being naughty, what do you do? Do you try and placate them or do you tell them off? I appreciate you've got a small one but there's no excuse for the older ones to be so naughty. They'd be getting a sharp bollocking if they were in my car. I have been known to yell full volume at mine to shut the hell up. When Mummy's driving she cannot be distracted by noisy children or she might crash the car, etc. Can't have it.

Two hours in the car with 3 dc aged 2, 3 and 5 used to send me potty. I used to say it was like sticking my head inside a saucepan and asking people to beat on the outside for 2 hrs with metal spoons.

I did everything: story tapes, singing, guessing games, spotting games, random made up on the spot games... All these worked - temporarily, then it was back to bickering and moaning.

All I wanted was a tiny, tiny bit of peace and / or to be able to concentrate.

You have my enormous sympathy OP. It may get better. (it may not)

Yanbu. Our four make me want to scream in the car, they bicker, chant, pinch each other, cry and anything else you can think of that would be annoying. I am often tempted to dump them by side of road and drive off leaving them in a cloud of smoke. I'm hoping it may get better when they move out?

Big sympathy for you - we just did an 8 hour journey with our one year old - we went overnight, thought we were being clever. Hahaha bitter laughter - he cried off and on the whole way home. He'd drop off to sleep, try to turn over or wriggle a bit in his sleep, find that he was trapped and cry. Repeat ad nauseum for hours - never ever again.

Also, when I was young, my parents couldn't take me and my brother and sister anywhere in the car without us starting ww3 - for example, whoever was in the middle would sit with their elbows stuck right out, just to wind the other two up. And we had a lovely (long-suffering) mother, and we've all turned out alright. Yours are just being kids

France??

Spain?

Ahahahahahah, no.

Not on your nelly. Not now, not never.

We've always done long journeys at bedtime. DD (6) used to fall asleep and be fine to be scooped up and thrown into whichever bed at the end. In the last year she's stopped sleeping.

We're currently 2.5 hours in to a 4 hour journey, having done 3.5 hours at lunchtime. She's plugged into Harry Potter audio book and just asks for a wee occasionally. This is a recent discovery and it's bliss. We're listening to comedy podcasts!

The trip was spent equally split between despairing ( muttering fucks sake under breath for example), whilst trying to ignore; bollocking 3 and 5 yr old and trying to distract/placate.

I am amazed some of you assume the dcs are badly behaved, we are often complimented on their behaviour in restaurants and on trains, for example. It's just car journeys that make me want to weep.

In fairness my eldest was fine, apologies if that wasn't clear in the OP.

I am quite amused at the idea of adopting a haughty voice and stating firmly "children, this just isn't acceptable behaviour, stop it at once" I doubt they'd even hear me when things are really bad

Less than 4dcs is the obvious answer . Travelling by train is another option, but then can be quite restrictive on where you can go, and what you can do when you get there.

Better planning is also a theme. More ideas for entertainment would be good please .

Slam on the brakes then. Turn the car around. Get off the motorway at the next exit. Tell them the bloody holiday's cancelled until they can behave themselves.

How come they're so well behaved everywhere else but your car?

It's like many of those things, you're just lucky if you get DC who cope with it fine!

My DC have very rarely made a fuss since they were born. Nothing I did, it's just the way they are. When DS was about 18 mo, I gave a friend and her similarly aged son to a friend's party.
Her DS was hysterical by the end of the 30 min drive. I was and 'what is the matter, is he ill, do you want me to take you home?!', and she was 'this is what it's normally like, why is your son so quiet?!?'

The last time DD (nearly 2) made a fuss was a few weeks ago, she was sobbing because DS wasn't in the car... So it's possible that she would have been a lot worse but DS has been a calming influence on her since her birth!

If less than 4 is the answer maybe you could lose a couple along the M25? I'm sure no one would notice if you just shoved a couple out.

Disciplining my 3 and 5 year olds in the car isn't really that different to doing it anywhere else though.

So yes, I do say words to the effect of 'pack it in, this is not acceptable' if they begin misbehaving. They listen the same amount as they would if I told them that at home.

Being unable to physically separate them is an issue. The little two really hate being restrained. Thinking about it there are few other situations in which they are restrained.

I don't know why they behave so badly in the car. Maybe because they hate car journeys and are quite young

YANBU. We are lucky - DS is very good in the car now - but he was hell on earth until he was big enough to go in a forward facing seat. I can barely think about a hellish drive we did when he was a couple of months old: we got stuck in awful traffic and he screamed, solidly, for two hours. There was nothing we could possibly have done (all that time we were stuck between the same two junctions).

Could you try putting the eldest in the front seat (with carseat as appropriate), and maybe giving then a task such as map reading or dispensing snacks, and having one adult on the back seat to read books/entertain/soothe/maintain discipline?

If mine scrap in the back I do 1-2-3 Magic and stop the car each time they kick off. I pull over wait at the side of the road and refuse to move until they either calm down or apologise or both. My position is that it is dangerous to drive with arguing children in the car and that the more they argue, the longer they have to endure being in the car. They usually get the idea pretty quickly and shut up.

Can you get a bigger car?! Or fiddle with the layout to try and keep the chief car trouble makers apart?

We are about to have our third and a 7 seater has been the biggest recommendation we've had - to keep them out of hitting range of each other on long drives!

We always try and time drives for the 1yos naps, because like yours he is very active and he hates being restrained. He screams and tries to climb out of his seat.

I think an all day car journey is easier than a normal day with ds (7 months) he is still very young so I expect it will get harder in years to come. We drove from Stockholm to Devon ( and back again) which was around 5500 km. Ds slept 90% of the time the rest of the time we sang to him ( singing songs in rounds baffles him and he sits silently listening) and listening to classical music ( again it baffles him into silent listening)

I passed a car with FOUR sleeping children in at lunchtime today BTW. I decided they must have drugged them...

I do an eight hour drive to Cornwall most summer hols with my dcs. Now I do it all in one go, with one or two breaks at service stations. When they were tiny (DC1 age 3.5 and DC2 age 12months) I broke the journey up and stayed the night at friends house about half way, both on the journey there and on the journey back. Now I buy them a lego kit each for about £5 for the journey there, and they sit with trays on their knees, construct their kits, and that keeps them entertained for longer than I could ever have imagined! We don't have tablets, ipads, dvd players or anything like that, but they are as good as gold.

Ok, so thinking through the turning round and going home scenario... Picture this... We are off on holiday. We have spent the previous evening packing once all 4dcs asleep. The journey has been carefully planned, with a stop half way, at a suitable location with toilets, something to look at and a space to run around. We have both had circa 5hrs sleep in two parts, because we got up early to finish sorting stuff out and make a packed lunch for everyone, and ensure all washing up etc done before we leave. The older 3 have been for a 40 min bike ride or run around to get some exercise before we set off. Everyone is fed, watered, toiletted, dressed (shoes tipnal, lets not set the bar too high) and relatively happy. (Actually, just think about how hard even getting to this point is please)

We have timed the first leg of the journey to coincide with when the youngest may sleep. She has been breastfed, and after 5 mins of moaning she nods off.

Peace. We both cross our fingers, as well sing along to super trooper (sung by kiddies) for the 45th millionth time.

30mins passes, and then something starts to go wrong. let's say 3 year old decides she wants a different DVD. We say no. She starts crying (quietly at first). Her sister kindly tries to skip the DVD to the next episode of fucking Shaun the sheep for her, but it goes slightly wrong. The crying gets louder. Dh and I are beginning to panic that baby may wake (baby who hates the car and will scream like she is being stabbed, persistently and endlessly, if awake). We shush and try to calm. We offer a sticker book, but now 3 yr old is ramping up for a tantrum... So she gets a snack.

If, at this point instead of trying to placate, we enacted your plan, and said no repeatedly, then turned around if the behaviour didn't improve, the three year old and 5 year old would both howl/scream v loudly. The baby would wake and start yelling. It would be impossible after this length of nap to resettle her, so she'd then be awake for a few hours... Which would mean stopping for that long, or driving with her screaming herself sick . Is it any wonder we don't do this ? The aim of the bloody journey is to reach the destination as painlessly as possible, and often before a set deadline, like, say to arrive in time to cook dinner. Some would say for 3 hrs of driving, leaving at around 9am this should be easily achievable. I wish.

123 magic would end in same effect on baby... And therefore same effect on duration of journey.