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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think you should stay with a lost child?

140 replies

NarkyNamechanger · 02/08/2013 13:27

So yesterday I took the DC to a local lake/woodland area for a walk. They took bikes and scooters and we've been lots of times always sticking to the man made path around the lake/trees. They go ahead but never too far or out of sight or off the path.

About half way round ds2 scoots ahead and stops outside the playground and cafe area where we were stopping for lunch. He turned around and because this bit is much busier, he couldn't see me. I could see him in the distance but he panicked and started crying.

I saw a lady walking her dog approach him and after about 10 seconds she carried on. I sped up and got to him. I asked him what the dog walker had said' which was to ask him why he was crying, ds2 had said he couldn't see his mum and she'd just said 'oh I'm sure she'll be along in a minute'. Granted I was and he was fine but still... Shouldn't you stay and comfort a lost child?

AIPSB?

OP posts:
GnocchiGnocchiWhosThere · 02/08/2013 14:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cushtie335 · 02/08/2013 14:14

Jamie actually wrote "Course it's NOT silly a 7 year old cried" (my caps). You seem to be determined to make out people on this thread are advocating leaving a crying child alone, they're not, most are just giving the lady in the woods the benefit of the doubt.

Quaffle · 02/08/2013 14:16

I lost mum and dad in town once. Two men stopped and asked what was wrong and I told them (sobbing) and the next minute mum and dad turned up.

I was only about two but I remember wondering at the time why mum was so (very uncharacteristically) short with the men. I expect she was suspicious of their motives.

BabyStone · 02/08/2013 14:19

If I saw a child looking lost/upset on their own, I would stop and ask if they were ok. If they said they couldn't see their parent, I would stay and wait until their parent turned up. If the child got scared, I'd reassure them who I was and just try talking to them or something, or maybe tell them to wait where they are and I'd stand near them. Then explain when the parent did turn up

thebody · 02/08/2013 14:19

cushty

i was commenting in whols post in page 1 that said she/ he thought it was 'silly for a 7 year old to cry'

I wasn't commenting in Jamie's post except to agree with her.

that's if you meant me.

Salmotrutta · 02/08/2013 14:19

And that Quaffle is why men are very wary now of helping children.

Or even chatting to them in a cafe/ park or whatever.

Gruntfuttock · 02/08/2013 14:20

Quaffle which would no doubt made the men wary of approaching a distressed child in the future, even if (as was likely) their motives were good.

thebody · 02/08/2013 14:20

and whatever her reason for walking on I personally wouldn't have.

children wander from 'safe places'

ClockWatchingLady · 02/08/2013 14:21

I'm with you, OP. I would like to think the lady would have stayed. I've always felt it's my duty to stay with any "lost" child I've encountered till the parent finds them.

thebody · 02/08/2013 14:21

neither would my dss, just asked them and they are 23 and 22. they would have stayed and got help.

mindyourownbusiness · 02/08/2013 14:22

Jamies going for ' inappropriate poster of the year ' by the sound of it.

Grin Brilliant,

SirChenjin · 02/08/2013 14:22

Some men are wary, some. I know DH wouldn't think twice about staying with a distressed child, and I would imagine that many men would be more concerned with making sure that the child didn't come to more harm from another less caring adult, or wander away, than being accused of something.

Quaffle · 02/08/2013 14:23

Yes, exactly. And that was in the days before there was a peedo round every corner and behind every bin.

If it had happened more recently she'd probably have had them both in a headlock.

mrsjay · 02/08/2013 14:23

maybe the dog walker saw you walking along he is obviously old enough to scoot ahead I am sure the woman said your mum will be in a minute because it was a park and you were along in a minute, she did check on him yabu. Id always ask a crying child but if a child is old enough to be on a scooter id assume you were near by

Original poster
NarkyNamechanger · 02/08/2013 14:24

I was also commenting on whois remark that it's silly for a 7yr old to cry. Then my 'Jamie?' Was in reference to the tampon confusion.

OP posts:
cushtie335 · 02/08/2013 14:27

thebody Please accept my apologies. Jamie and her daft tampons has got me all aflap!!

thebody · 02/08/2013 14:27

think cushy got wrong end if stick!!

hope your ds is ok op? good learning opportunity but upsetting.

thebody · 02/08/2013 14:28

lol no problems Jamie made me laugh too 😆

cushtie335 · 02/08/2013 14:29

I did, yes (blush). and OP, the main thing is your wee boy is OK. Losing your child or being lost, even for seconds is horrible.

mrsjay · 02/08/2013 14:31

as long as he is fine now no harm done and at least somebody stopped to many people just dont notice anything and keep walking

LovePotatoes · 02/08/2013 14:31

i too would have stopped and waited with the child.
About 20 years ago family outing to city centre my little.sisters and i were playing hide n seek in a department store whilst parents were shopping there. I couldnt find my youngest sister and bwfore i knew it a stranger, a woman, was guiding my little sister back to us. She gave us such a good telling off that we never played hide n seek in the shops again!!!! My little sister had wondered off out the department store. Im glad that lady hadnt walked off and had the heart to help my lost little sister

Original poster
NarkyNamechanger · 02/08/2013 14:33

Yes he is absolutely fine and I guess at least she stopped and spoke to him. :)

OP posts:
cushtie335 · 02/08/2013 14:34

My DD used to do it deliberately in shops like Asda where there was a customers services desk that she would get made a fuss of and get her name over the tannoy. It drove me insane. I ended up getting a wrist strap for her so she couldn't "lose" herself.

kim147 · 02/08/2013 14:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Svrider · 02/08/2013 14:39

I have 3 young DC and tend to talk to unknown children whilst out and about
I've had some very hard "death" stares from some mums when I've not got my own children with me IYSWIM
Op whilst yanbu I can also see why the dog walker kept her distance tbh