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AIBU?

To think you should stay with a lost child?

140 replies

NarkyNamechanger · 02/08/2013 13:27

So yesterday I took the DC to a local lake/woodland area for a walk. They took bikes and scooters and we've been lots of times always sticking to the man made path around the lake/trees. They go ahead but never too far or out of sight or off the path.

About half way round ds2 scoots ahead and stops outside the playground and cafe area where we were stopping for lunch. He turned around and because this bit is much busier, he couldn't see me. I could see him in the distance but he panicked and started crying.

I saw a lady walking her dog approach him and after about 10 seconds she carried on. I sped up and got to him. I asked him what the dog walker had said' which was to ask him why he was crying, ds2 had said he couldn't see his mum and she'd just said 'oh I'm sure she'll be along in a minute'. Granted I was and he was fine but still... Shouldn't you stay and comfort a lost child?

AIPSB?

OP posts:

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Gruntfuttock · 02/08/2013 14:40

Svrider are you male or female?

HollyBerryBush · 02/08/2013 14:43

About a month ago there was a thread on here (summary) child escaped from back garden and went off for a walk and was brought back by next door neighbours dad who was walking his dog.

pear clutching outrage< he must have been a paedo.

So you cant do right for doing wrong. Imagine if a bloke had stood with the child. Christ we'd be googling the Woodland CEO and sending stroppy emails about abduction

Gruntfuttock · 02/08/2013 14:45

Holly it is indeed an outrage to clutch your pear! Not as much of an outrage as clutching your pair though. That's just rude.

SirChenjin · 02/08/2013 14:46

It really wouldn't matter to me what some nutjob of a parent thought about me waiting with their lost child who was distressed - water off a duck's back. My main concern would be the child.

Fallout1977 · 02/08/2013 14:47

When my son wandered out of a shop on his own I couldn't actually get to him because so many people were there comforting him. He has never gone out of sight before and was more terrified of all those people than losing me ;)

Thumbwitch · 02/08/2013 14:53

I would always stay with a lost child and help them try to find their mum/dad. I'm a bit of a "class monitor" about these things, I can't help myself. I get it from my Dad, who is the same but who would probably be arrested if he did it now :(

NachoAddict · 02/08/2013 14:56

I would stay with a lost child and would be nothing but grateful to anyone who helped mine. It's sad that people feel so wary. There is a world of difference between standing next to q lost child and dragging them away through the bushes!

Rufus43 · 02/08/2013 14:58

I would stay, I wouldn't walk away from a crying child

Gruntfuttock · 02/08/2013 14:59

Fallout that's the thing. Some panicky children would panic even more at a stranger talking to them because they've had it drilled into them not to talk to strangers. I could never ignore a lost child, I hasten to add, regardless of that.

kim147 · 02/08/2013 14:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mirry2 · 02/08/2013 14:59

Sorry but I DO judge the lady with the dog. I'm shocked that anyone would walk away from a crying child who thought he was lost. A seven year old is still very young. Actually I wouldn't walk away from anyone looking distressed and lost.

Dahlen · 02/08/2013 14:59

I would have stayed, and have done on more than one occasion in the past. If no one comes along, I'd take responsibility for taking the child to a place of safety, too. I'd far rather have to explain I'm not a paedophile/kidnapper than live with the knowledge that I had let a child get into an avoidable accident, fall into the hands of someone who definitely didn't have that child's best interests at heart, or simply be very scared.

Whether the OP was irresponsible is completely irrelevant (although IMO she wasn't), because none of that alters the fact that the child was alone (although in this case he wasn't really) and therefore possibly vulnerable, and most certainly scared and in need of an adult's reassuring presence.

Rufus43 · 02/08/2013 15:00

Should clarify that I would not leave a strange child when it was crying....would make a break for it if it was one of mine

missimperfect · 02/08/2013 15:02

All these people saying "maybe the lady could see the OP walking along". How can that be relevant unless the OP was carrying a big sign saying "mother of crying child near the café" ? She couldn't have known who the child's mother was.
Most of us would have stayed. Many a time I have checked on a crying child - usually to find they were not far away from the parent and just having a bit of a moment! But we should give the lady the benefit of the doubt - she might have had to rush off to an appointment or something and we don't know exactly what she said to the child: she might have told the child to just "wait here by the café - just stay where you are and I am sure your mum will come along soon" or something like that.

Gruntfuttock · 02/08/2013 15:05

Rufus! Don't make Holly clutch her pear again!

Hulababy · 02/08/2013 15:05

I would, and have asked an upset child if they are okay - and I have stayed with them until not found. In my case it was within a minute at most. If was longer I would look for some type of official person to inform.

And no - it is not silly for a 7y to cry if he thinks he is lost.

SirChenjin · 02/08/2013 15:06

It's impossible to know what was going on in her mind when she decided to leave a distressed child crying on his own, I agree.

thegreylady · 02/08/2013 15:07

I would have stayed with a crying child until the parent showed up.I would be worried that a 7yr old had more reason to be upset than just a minute out of sight.My dgs is 6 and rides his bike in a similar area with me dd and dgs2.If he gets a bit far ahead he turns round and rides back-he wouldn't stand and cry!

Rufus43 · 02/08/2013 15:08

Just had a thought, when my ds2 was about 2 we went to a very crowded beach. He was just behind my deck chair and my husband was just in front. Dh looked down for a minute and ds2 had disappeared!

Dh was frantic and we searched for 5 mins then he want to the amusement arcade/fairground while I went the other way to the lost child.

Luckily he was there but a lady had seen ds2 looking round and had asked him if he was lost (he said yes, because he couldn't see us even though we knew where he was). She then took him to lost children

As helpful as she was being I would have stayed still with the child for a few minutes or yelled lost child before taking them to lost children

Having said that I would probably be complaining if she had done that and. Was waiting at lost children!

thebody · 02/08/2013 15:10

cushtie my ds did just the same.//😆

Rufus43 · 02/08/2013 15:10

gruntfuttock god forbid! They go all mushy if they are manhandled!

PeppermintPasty · 02/08/2013 15:16

My mum got on a train to help my nan load her case after her hols with us. I was on the platform, aged about 3.

Train pulls off. Cue much bawling from me.

2 old ladies took me off to the car park and sat me in their car. I remember the door being wide open.

They fed me Spangles.

Mum meanwhile had pulled the emergency cord, almost biffed the guard and found me with the 2 old dears stuffing my face.

She told them off for moving me from the platform (go mother).

No point to this really. Just made me happy remembering the Spangles. (They get a capital "S" they were so important).

Gruntfuttock · 02/08/2013 15:18

Rufus so do I.

Gruntfuttock · 02/08/2013 15:19

Bugger, that was meant to be a

LingDiLong · 02/08/2013 15:25

How very odd of her! She cared enough to stop and ask why he was crying but then got the answer that he wasn't and couldn't see a parent so she walked on?! Why bother asking why he was crying in the first place? Bonkers.

I'd have certainly stayed with him but if you didn't show up after a few minutes I'd have taken him into the cafe to alert the staff in there.

Flip

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