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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think you should stay with a lost child?

140 replies

NarkyNamechanger · 02/08/2013 13:27

So yesterday I took the DC to a local lake/woodland area for a walk. They took bikes and scooters and we've been lots of times always sticking to the man made path around the lake/trees. They go ahead but never too far or out of sight or off the path.

About half way round ds2 scoots ahead and stops outside the playground and cafe area where we were stopping for lunch. He turned around and because this bit is much busier, he couldn't see me. I could see him in the distance but he panicked and started crying.

I saw a lady walking her dog approach him and after about 10 seconds she carried on. I sped up and got to him. I asked him what the dog walker had said' which was to ask him why he was crying, ds2 had said he couldn't see his mum and she'd just said 'oh I'm sure she'll be along in a minute'. Granted I was and he was fine but still... Shouldn't you stay and comfort a lost child?

AIPSB?

OP posts:
JamieandtheMagicTorch · 02/08/2013 13:53

Perhaps she saw you coming along?

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 02/08/2013 13:53

... because if you could see her, surely she could see you?

Twirlyhot · 02/08/2013 13:54

I've had a mouthful before from someone. When they've lost their child and find them crying and distressed with a stranger with large dogs apparently it's the dogs that are the problem Confused. Those big dogs that are lying down. On leads.

maja00 · 02/08/2013 13:55

I would have stayed, but he wasn't a toddler and was in a safe place so I don't think it was wrong of her to leave - she checked he wasn't hurt or in immediate danger.

NotYoMomma · 02/08/2013 13:55

if you could see him and he wasnt that far away then surely you could have called out and waved.

her dog might be agressive, she might have just moved away but kept an eye from a distance?

you don't know

thebody · 02/08/2013 13:56

god yes amazed posters saying they wouldn't.

if someone had stopped and asked why Jamie bugler was crying he would be alive today.

hasn't everyone at least once had that panicky feeling of loosing a child.

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 02/08/2013 13:57

I would satay with him, yes. I'm just wondering if she saw the OP coming

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 02/08/2013 13:57

not satay , stay

cushtie335 · 02/08/2013 13:59

Most people have said they WOULD stay, they're just not being judgey about the woman who didn't who could have any number of reasons for not doing so, one of the main ones being that she saw the child's mother approaching after all.

FannyMcNally · 02/08/2013 13:59

I don't think at this age you would necessarily get a true version of everything that was exactly said, especially as how he was upset as well. She may have said, will you be all right? Shall I stay with you? etc.

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 02/08/2013 14:00

Blimey, buying your girlfriend's tampons would have been considered "modern" when i was a teen in the 1980s.

Original poster
NarkyNamechanger · 02/08/2013 14:00

I think it's the fact that she obviously cared enough to stop and ask but then not really do anything? Maybe her dog was aggressive I didn't think of that. And maybe she did watch from a distance.

I have since checked with ds2 that he would know what to do next (go into the cafe not take off looking for me).

And no he's not a toddler but is it really that sill that he cried? He is quite happy to be away from me but thinking you're lost is different, isn't it?

OP posts:
JamieandtheMagicTorch · 02/08/2013 14:00

OOOOPS, WRONG THREAD

cushtie335 · 02/08/2013 14:01

Lolling at Jamie in the wrong thread, and a TAMPON one at that, hee hee.

Salmotrutta · 02/08/2013 14:01

I stayed with a crying little boy once until his panicked mum and big brother came running up.

He had left a shop thinking they were outside too then got disorientated and upset.

He was doing that gulping, sobbing and lots of other people were just walking past Hmm So I stood with him and talked to him, trying to find out which shop they had been in. At that point mum appeared thankfully!

And for the record, his mum thanked me profusely for standing with him.

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 02/08/2013 14:02

Course it's not silly a 7 year old cried.

Original poster
NarkyNamechanger · 02/08/2013 14:02

Jamie??

OP posts:
JamieandtheMagicTorch · 02/08/2013 14:03

cushtie Grin

It's not the worst one I've done. I once typed 'Tis Pity She's A Whore. In a thread about a little girl

Original poster
NarkyNamechanger · 02/08/2013 14:04

Lol

OP posts:
cushtie335 · 02/08/2013 14:06

Snort.

Gruntfuttock · 02/08/2013 14:09

OP, you think this woman was wrong for not staying with a child, but how about all the other people who didn't even talk to him? At least she showed concern and you don't know the precise conversation between her and your son so you are not in a position to judge her actions and find her wanting IMO.

thebody · 02/08/2013 14:10

jamie😋

wierd that someone would think it was silly for a lost child to cry! he's 7.

dyslexicdespot · 02/08/2013 14:10

I would like to raise my DS in a society where all adults concern themselves with the well being of all children, regardless of the child's age. I can't imagine leaving a distressed child alone.

maja00 · 02/08/2013 14:11

She stopped and checked he wasn't injured and nothing bad had happened. When it turned out he'd just lost sight of his mum, and he was obviously in a safe place and she'd probably be along in a minute, the woman didn't feel it necessary to do much more.

SirChenjin · 02/08/2013 14:13

FFS - a child is crying because he's lost his mum. Of course I would stay with him. The fact that there are people on here who wouldn't makes me feel physically sick - looking at my own lovely little boy who is 6 who is currently playing happily with his trains, and imagining that there are adults who no doubt think they are decent, reasonable human beings who would just leave him distressed like that is beyond belief.

MN is an eye opener at times Sad

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