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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be fed up of balls in my garden from next door?

234 replies

nomoreballs · 31/07/2013 19:41

Nearly everyday at least one ball gets thrown over the fence. The record was 5 in one day! I used to pick them up each time and throw them back but I am getting annoyed by it. If the kids are in the garden when I throw them back they never say thanks.

I had plans to get a greenhouse before they moved in but it's not worth even considering.

A few days ago I gave up throwing them back. I counted 4 balls in my garden this morning (plus one more that my dog was chewing on.)

Neither the kids or the parents have said anything yet. AIBU?

OP posts:
LackingEnergy · 02/08/2013 13:43

Did you never kick/bat a ball into a neighbour's garden when you were a child?

No, any game that could inconvenience neighbours or break something was a park or field game only. This may have been due to our parents (pre children) having their greenhouse broken several times by children playing with balls etc in their gardens

Sparklingbrook · 02/08/2013 13:47

If I had a newborn I would probably keep the balls a bit longer TBH Donald.

Osmiornica · 02/08/2013 13:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Osmiornica · 02/08/2013 13:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BrianTheMole · 02/08/2013 17:54

Did you never kick/bat a ball into a neighbour's garden when you were a child?

No never. Probably because our parents took us to the park to do that, rather than turf us out into the garden with a ball to keep annoying the neighbours with. My parents had this weird idea that it would be rude to keep kicking footballs into next doors garden and damage their plants etc. Not sure why, they're only boring plants after all.

ChestyNut · 02/08/2013 18:32

chestydog has eaten a grand total of 3 balls today.
He thinks its christmas Grin

I've repeatedly told the DC that if ball comes over he'll eat it, doesn't seem to have improved their ball skills.

Hopefully parents will get sick of replacing balls and take them to the park.

WhirlyByrd · 02/08/2013 18:46

My parents had a rule that if a ball went over once you could knock for it. If it went over again, you were being a PITA to the neighbours and had to come in.

mumblechum1 · 02/08/2013 19:38

How people can make such a drama about chucking a few balls back over is beyond me.

It's not the throwing of the balls that's the problem. It's the damage to the plants, some of which cost £50 plus to replace when they have a bloody space hopper land on them, plus the inconvenience of having to source the right plant at the right time etc etc .

If the garden was just a square of lawn I wouldn't give a monkeys, but it's not, it's 10 to 15 feet deep herbaceous borders which dh spends all winter planning.

VenusSurprising · 02/08/2013 19:45

Don't give them back.
You have a right to sit in your own garden without the risk of being hit by flying missiles.

Let them go to the park for ball games.

And get a glasshouse, and charge them for breaking glass, if they do.

libertine73 · 02/08/2013 20:00

jeeeeeez

FryOneFatManic · 02/08/2013 20:40

BrianTheMole Fri 02-Aug-13 17:54:26
Did you never kick/bat a ball into a neighbour's garden when you were a child?

No never. Probably because our parents took us to the park to do that, rather than turf us out into the garden with a ball to keep annoying the neighbours with. My parents had this weird idea that it would be rude to keep kicking footballs into next doors garden and damage their plants etc. Not sure why, they're only boring plants after all.

^^This, totally.

My parents went apeshit with DB and I the one time our ball went over the fence. They were so upset that we had not shown any consideration for our neighbours.

And we had a very tiny garden, so if we could manage to play with our ball within the limits of our own garden, then so can all these other inconsiderate kids.

It is possible to do this without spoiling the fun.

Rhino71 · 03/08/2013 06:02

Parents do take their kids to the park to play, but sometimes kids will want to play in the garden, you can't spend 24 hours in a park or field. It's a ball throw the bloody thing back and let them carry on playing. Golf balls is a completely different matter and I would be having a word with the parents.

TheFallenNinja · 03/08/2013 06:37

I have a deal with the lads next door each time a ball comes over they can come and get it without having to knock, but, each time they owe me £1000.

So far they owe me £4.3 million, I can't wait for them to start earning.

jamdonut · 04/08/2013 20:38

Anthracite Fri 02-Aug-13 13:17:50
I think you are being a bit miserable, OP.

Did you never kick/bat a ball into a neighbour's garden when you were a child?

At least these kids are outside and getting exercise.

I think that if you are bothered not to throw the ball back, and wait for them to knock on your door and politely ask for it back.

I'm not the OP but answering anyway:
Yes of course I did.Rarely. But I did not expect to necessarily get it back.That is how I was brought up

Not saying they shouldn't be in their gardens getting excercise:just want them to take more care/have respect for neighbours.

How many times is it reasonable to have someone knock on your door in the space of one day to ask for their ball back? Would you really not get fed up with it?

FourGates · 04/08/2013 20:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SelectAUserName · 04/08/2013 21:07

Those who think the OP and others are miserable minnies moaning about something that is "hardly an inconvenience" are welcome to come and spend a few sunny hours in my parents' garden.

My parents are in their 60s, have lived in their house for 40 years, so are excused from "not noticing there were children there when they viewed the house", are now retired and their garden is their pride and joy. They regularly have balls coming over the seven foot fence from all three sides - as in, anything up to 10-12 times a day in total, every sunny weekend/holiday day, which means 10-12 rings on the doorbell, increasing in length if they don't sprint to the door, or shouts of "can we have the ball back?" (never a "please" or a "thank you" unless one of my parents prompts them) over the fence.

They have had panes of glass broken in their greenhouse - miraculously all three neighbours denied all knowledge of those particular balls; they have had drinks knocked off their garden table without an apology; have had fragile and delicate plants that my dad nurtured from seed squashed and broken; ditto. One of the neighbours is slightly less irritating and has started to get the message, in as much as they have written "sorry I have landed in your garden, please can you return me?" on a couple of the bigger balls, but the other two remain ignorant and entitled.

So yes, it IS an inconvenience. My parents just want to enjoy their garden quietly in their twilight years without the incessant thud-thud-thudding of balls against fences, dodging accident or injury and being expected to act as retrievers the second a ball flies into their garden. They don't want to stop children playing out in the fresh air, they would just like a little consideration.

weisswusrt · 05/08/2013 09:16

If fourgates let's her dog shit in my garden, I'm rubbing hers and her dogs nose in it.

HappyMummyOfOne · 05/08/2013 11:24

Just pop them back over the fence, dont see what the problem is. They dont appear to be breaking panes of glass etc so not doing any harm.

We have a keen footballer next door and his very often come over. I throw them back over if outside but if not he knows to just pop round and retrieve himself. Its fairly relaxed here though with most of the neighbours. Our drive is steep and great for skateboarding etc so theres sometimes a child playing although most are grow up and teens now.

cantspel · 05/08/2013 12:17

There is no need for footballs coming over the fence. It is just inconsiderate and shows lack of respect for your neighbors property. Just because you dont care if a ball lands on your plants or bangs against your fence doesn't mean your neighbors dont care either.

I am a keen gardener and one stray ball could ruin months of hard work or completely destroy an expensive plant. Why should i not have a problem with this?

Children dont have to give up ball games and go and sit infront of a screen instead. You can buy swing ball for tennis type games and something very similar for football. The ball is in a net on elastic fixed to a stake in the ground. The children can kick it to their hearts content and it is never going to leave their garden.

Tiredmumno1 · 05/08/2013 14:26

Weiss I think you'll find fourgates was angry about what you do.

Which she has every reason to be obviously, hence her example.

It's dangerous, and you should be ashamed of yourself.

Andro · 05/08/2013 14:51

I get fed up when the balls smash through my greenhouse...I was livid when one such incident landed DS in A&E for glass removal and stitches (the culprit's mother couldn't understand why I was so furious either). It's not as if my greenhouse is small, hidden away or new...it was there before my neighbors were.

Eyesunderarock · 05/08/2013 14:59

I think a lot of parents would change their minds if they were liable for the damage done by footballs.
if your garden isn't suitable for football, then there are hundreds of alternatives to play that don't involve mass destruction of other people's plants, greenhouses and bashing their children with random missiles.
You really don't have the right to inflict that level of PITAness on other people, however much joy the child gets from it.

notallytuts · 05/08/2013 15:13

tbh, if you dont want dogshit on your football you should probably keep it under control in your own, shit-free garden!

SoftKittyWarmKitty · 05/08/2013 15:21

This is going to be a discussion on The Wright Stuff tomorrow Grin.

Sparklingbrook · 05/08/2013 15:23