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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be fed up of balls in my garden from next door?

234 replies

nomoreballs · 31/07/2013 19:41

Nearly everyday at least one ball gets thrown over the fence. The record was 5 in one day! I used to pick them up each time and throw them back but I am getting annoyed by it. If the kids are in the garden when I throw them back they never say thanks.

I had plans to get a greenhouse before they moved in but it's not worth even considering.

A few days ago I gave up throwing them back. I counted 4 balls in my garden this morning (plus one more that my dog was chewing on.)

Neither the kids or the parents have said anything yet. AIBU?

OP posts:
GrimmaTheNome · 01/08/2013 21:37

Grimma I think that I would be happier if my neighbours were as goood as yours

For sure! So... everyone whose kids are doing the ball-kicking, take note!

RockOnRuby · 02/08/2013 08:17

Jesus christ, people moan that kids these days are always on the computers/ipads, etc.

Now they're moaning that kids are out having fun in their garden. Throw them back for god's sake. They're kids

MyDarlingClementine · 02/08/2013 08:36

Hillarious, poor poor OP.

We had this too with our old night mare neighbours. I was becoming a slave to the brat boys football obsession, not only have to listen to the very loud thud thud thud thud all day and night as he hit his ball agaisnt his wall we had the loud mums " stop it L, stop it" over and over again whilst he carried on, then you would here her say in a fond way " ooh you are cheeky". And let him carry on.

I would get everyone to sit down for dinner in the garden, ages luring DD down, everyone settled then the ball would come over, narrowly miss us, land in a flower bed and if he heard us there a cheeky shout over and over and over again until my DD left HER MEAL to throw it back.

Then the ball ent over my garden to the other garden, they were asking ME to go and ask the other neighbour to get it back.

After months of this, I put my foot down. Any time it went to the other nighbour I said they must ask them to get it back, we must not go un invited into other peopls gardens. That was called trespassing and it was agasint the law.

I would leave the ball for days before throwing it back. They would see my DD and speak to her like a slave to get their ball back.

I just do not parent like my old neighbour. If I had asked my DD to stop playing against the wall and she carried on I would simply take the ball off her. If she kept on harrasing our neighbours and interefing in their lives by several times a day throwing a ball over, I would not let her play in the garden.

I follow through on my threats. The odd ball in the garden , no problem but several times a day is disgusting and I cannot belive anyone would think its ok to do this to a neighbour?

BTW everyone loathed her DC, they were horrid brats, liked her but evryone had to stop inviting her round because the DC were out of control.

RockOnRuby · 02/08/2013 08:40

I despair of this country sometimes.

Its a fuckin ball. Throw it back and get on with your boring lives

Sparklingbrook · 02/08/2013 08:41

Well said Rock. Life's too short for ball wars.

usualsuspect · 02/08/2013 08:42

I'm with you Rocky.

usualsuspect · 02/08/2013 08:43

Sorry,Rock not Rocky Grin

MyDarlingClementine · 02/08/2013 08:43

Thats the point! Our lives were starting to revolve around this boys ball!

Its vile that people think this is OK, maybe we are talking different levels of balls going over>? I am talking several times a day every day?

Is that really OK?

MyDarlingClementine · 02/08/2013 08:44

It could be said life is too short to be dealing with some other fuckers ball!

Sparklingbrook · 02/08/2013 08:46

It's hardly dealing with it though is it? It doesn't take hours out of your day. Confused if you are in the garden and see a ball-chuck it back?

usualsuspect · 02/08/2013 08:48

How people can make such a drama about chucking a few balls back over is beyond me.

MyDarlingClementine · 02/08/2013 08:51

yes it was actually, when we wernet lisitning to the thudding, it meant he had kicked it over, then we would hear the moaning to the mum, then the mum, so in the beginging i woudl STOP whatever I was doing to go and look for hte ball, to throw it back., then mins later it was over again, so i would stop what i was doing to go and throw it back, then it would happen again and i wouldnt be able at that moment to throw it back so then we would have the whining and in the begining i would feel guilty. After months of this, I got tough. enough is enough. You could hear him in our living room, we are living cheek by jowl here, not in large detached houses

Sparklingbrook · 02/08/2013 08:51

There is one in my garden as we speak usual. Shock I will try and fit chucking it back into my busy day, but I don't know if I will have chance TBH.

MyDarlingClementine · 02/08/2013 08:53

Maybe walk in our shoes usual and try it.

Also added to the fact there is no way I would allo my DC to intrude onto our neighbours in this manner.

we rarely have ball games, and our ball has on occasion like twice gone into neighbours garden, or the dogs ball in the begining when we didntg throw it well.

i wrote the ball off, and if it ever came back int was a bonus, i wouldnt knock for them, shout, harras them till i got it back, that was on one occasion let alone several times a day.

its not how i would treat others so its not how i accept others treart me either. and i wouldnt let my DC do it to others either.

GrimmaTheNome · 02/08/2013 09:03

Its about consideration really - I don't mind my neighbour's kids and their footballs at all because they're considerate about it, were apologetic and didn't take for granted that either I'd be ball-boy or they could come and get it. So in turn I'm considerate to them - eg letting them know that when we're on holiday and DH has bolted the side gate they can ask a parent to come in and get the balls (having found 8 last time we got home - my reaction was 'poor kids' not annoyance).

But the onus is on the people with the kids to be considerate in the first place. I can see why some of you get annoyed.

Rhino71 · 02/08/2013 09:06

The first time it happened to us, the boys knocked and asked if I could throw the ball back, after that I told them to just go in the garden and get it themselves.. issue solved.
It?s a ball?. If you are in the garden throw it back. Thousands of threads on here about kids being on XBOX and Nintendo and not getting enough exercise now they are being told off for playing outside.

Sparklingbrook · 02/08/2013 09:17

The parents of the ball throwers should ensure they have more than one ball.

jamdonut · 02/08/2013 09:44

Obviously, RockonRuby, it does not happen to you continuously.

I have said that I am not unreasonable and if it was just the odd ball,now and then, I wouldn't say anything about it. It is the fact that it is all the time, and they don't alter their kicking...it is always hard high and fast,so that it it is inevitable that it will be over the fence any second. And also the things that are thrown over on purpose: trainers,toys,sweets,sandwiches.....

And the damage to the plants in the garden (My husband's pride and joy)

Why should I shrug and go "oh well,they just kids". As previously stated, I haven't allowed my kids to do that. They get just as indignant about it.

And as for having more than one ball...next door do and they all end up in my garden eventually,within the space of a few minutes, usually.Hmm

Original poster
nomoreballs · 02/08/2013 10:19

Having just seen the youngest boy leaning over the fence and trying to spit in my fishpond I think I will keep their remaining balls for a bit longer.

I chucked back two footballs and a new tennis ball last night. Another football is stuck in my hedge and I can't reach it.

When I threw over the footballs, the girl was in the garden and starting shrieking that the ball might have hit her. Hmm But it's fine if it hits me? Again no thankyou.

OP posts:
weisswusrt · 02/08/2013 13:06

When people like rock get all pissy about other people not putting up with rude children, I just know they are the parents of these types of brat. Why else be so indignant when people express an irritation to dealing with them??

Sparklingbrook · 02/08/2013 13:09

Having read nomore's last post if I were her i would be having words with the parents re the spitting if nothing else.

MrsDonaldDraper · 02/08/2013 13:10

Rocky/Sparkling - last year I would have agreed with you, I just chucked the balls back, but now I have a newborn baby and the balls have narrowly missed her several times. What do I do? I've asked them to be careful when they're in their garden and I'm mine, but a ball still narrowly missed her.

How come they get to use their garden but I don't get to use mine?

Sparklingbrook · 02/08/2013 13:12

I think I have done that thing of envisaging what it's like for me when I have children of 11 and 14 Donald. Not sure what would be best in your scenario.
Have you told the parents?

Anthracite · 02/08/2013 13:17

I think you are being a bit miserable, OP.

Did you never kick/bat a ball into a neighbour's garden when you were a child?

At least these kids are outside and getting exercise.

I think that if you are bothered not to throw the ball back, and wait for them to knock on your door and politely ask for it back.

MrsDonaldDraper · 02/08/2013 13:26

I know, Sparkling, that is the only thing that in the not too distant future we will annoy them somehow!

We did tell the parents and I know they had a word with the children. I suspect though that the children aren't telling the parents when the balls come over (they've taken your advice and have loads! Grin)

We currently have 5 in the garden. When they come back from holiday we'll probably take them round to the parents. I did like the suggestion from one poster about talking about the lack of ball handling skills - the boy is footballer and does a lot of training, so mentioning that might appeal to his competitive side..