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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be fed up of balls in my garden from next door?

234 replies

nomoreballs · 31/07/2013 19:41

Nearly everyday at least one ball gets thrown over the fence. The record was 5 in one day! I used to pick them up each time and throw them back but I am getting annoyed by it. If the kids are in the garden when I throw them back they never say thanks.

I had plans to get a greenhouse before they moved in but it's not worth even considering.

A few days ago I gave up throwing them back. I counted 4 balls in my garden this morning (plus one more that my dog was chewing on.)

Neither the kids or the parents have said anything yet. AIBU?

OP posts:
DanceParty · 01/08/2013 11:49

Oh I love that weiss ! I'm with you OP - it can get very tiring after a while.

BrianTheMole · 01/08/2013 11:50

Summed up nicely there EllesAngel. Entitlement seems to be the general attitude here. Nice. Hmm

jamdonut · 01/08/2013 11:51

Would you want people traipsing through your garden all the time? Our house is terraced, and between me and my other neighbour we keep the access passage to our gardens locked,to stop burglaries etc.
I have no back gate.

We're not talking about the odd ball here and there,I could cope with that! I'm not an unreasonable person. It is people not keeping their own children in check that I object to, when I do my best to be a nuisance to others.

tabulahrasa · 01/08/2013 12:03

You can't have children wandering in and out of your garden if you have a dog.

DreamingofSummer · 01/08/2013 12:05

Is today national miserable git day?

EllesAngel · 01/08/2013 12:15

No, today is national stop the entitlement day.

jamdonut · 01/08/2013 13:06

oops not to be a nuisance to others!

LackingEnergy · 01/08/2013 13:20

Why would I want other peoples children in and out of my garden all the time?

Have you seen the threads on here about children and dogs or children and any animal to be honest?

I can't expect a child to remember to shut the gate properly and put the bolt back on. So dogs and chickens could escape
I can't expect them to know how to behave around dogs, especially ones loose in a garden
I can't expect them to have basic manners
I can't expect them to not interfere with the horses or the chickens
I can't expect them to not damage things
I can't expect them not to play with or accidentally break ds's toys

It is far easier to collect the various items in a box in the shed and give them back once a week. If the children come knocking then I ask for their parents to collect the item. That way the parent is just as inconvenienced as me and has some sort of understanding of just how often it happens :)

LackingEnergy · 01/08/2013 13:21

Lets not forget that you can't have an unsupervised child near a pond, especially if that's where the ball landed

jamdonut · 01/08/2013 13:35

I don't want children to not play in their gardens...just be taught that they have to play within the limits of the size of their garden. If you have a huge garden, detached house, then it is not unreasonable to expect your children to play ball games,carefully.
If ,like me, you have a smallish garden,with houses on top of each other (so to speak) then it is unreasonable to allow your children to be playing football in such a way that there is every chance of the ball going over the fence at any minute.
It is also unreasonable to allow your children to be throwing things over the fence on purpose,like trainers or anything not designed to be thrown.

usualsuspect · 01/08/2013 13:42

Lol at the council house reference.

weisswusrt · 01/08/2013 16:05

I also think that letting kids mindlessly kick a ball about for hours on end is pretty lazy parenting. But, I'm old fashioned, and think childhood is for exploring, inventing, learning and using their imaginations.

neriberi · 01/08/2013 16:41

I'm reading this thread while sinking lower and lower into my seat in total shame Blush my DS is forever losing balls over the fence but then he's only 2.5 and hasn't managed to master his "ball skills" yet, but then neither has his Dad or his Grandad.

We usually wait for the ball to come back on its own accord but then we're lucky because our neighbours are lovely Grin and have boys of their own (who play football) plus they're the sort of people who would tell us if something was a real nuisance.

Lulabellarama · 01/08/2013 16:52

This would all be easily resolved if you could earn some more money and buy a detatched house with plenty of land - Have you considered that?

mumblechum1 · 01/08/2013 16:53

After seeing next door's kid trampling over and totally wrecking a huge swathe of irises, peonies and early roses the other week to get their ball back themselves, I would definitely not invite them to get it themselves again!

I like the idea of telling the kid to get the parent round to collect it.

heidipi · 01/08/2013 17:11

It might sound miserable to be fed up with this but it can be a right pain.

We always said the boys next door could just come and get their ball without knocking (small garden, came over every few mins) and it became a game to keep kicking it over, coming to get it back and doing a lap of the garden at the same time. Then we had to move the latch on the gate higher so DD1 couldn't get out and the kids next door couldn't reach it either, so they invented a new game of kicking it over repeatedly when I was in the garden for me to get - a bit tiresome when I was pregnant and it was over again before i even had time to sit down (think 10 times in 5 mins) and now DD2 is here I've asked them to be careful when we're in the garden so she doesn't get booted in the face with a football. that's all, very simple but their mum has got the massive hump about it, as though I've punctured all their balls in front of their little faces or something.

Every time I go near the garden I hear something dramatic like "no, I've told you darling you can't play football. the neighbours don't like it."

FFS seriously, it might sound trivial but maybe parents could just think about the annoyance level and try to limit it.

mumblechum1 · 01/08/2013 17:22

Pah. We have a detached house with half an acre, but the boundary has to end somewhere!

VodkaJelly · 01/08/2013 18:07

If anybody is bothered by constant footballs in their garden I will lend you my dog. Whenever I have moved or had new neighbours I have told them that if a ball/frisbee/trainer/toy lands in the garden my dog WILL chew it.

He is like greased lightning and will get the object before I can and wont give it back till it is in bits and covered in slobber. He loves footballs the best and his mission in life is to pop and kill a football in 5 seconds flat.

In the last 7 years I have only had 1 frisbee and I got to it before the dog and returned it.

aldiwhore · 01/08/2013 18:11

Throw every ball into the other neighbour's garden.

mirry2 · 01/08/2013 18:13

'If the children come knocking then I ask for their parents to collect the item. That way the parent is just as inconvenienced as me and has some sort of understanding of just how often it happens'

Lackingenergy - that's a great idea Grin

GrimmaTheNome · 01/08/2013 18:15

I think YABU, a bit, to resent kids kicking balls over (so long as its accidental), but the neighbours are also BU if they don't say thanks.

I've got two football-mad boys next door - we get lots of balls over. But they are so polite - if I throw the balls back when they're there, I'll always hear a 'thank you!'; when they first arrived they'd come and knock at the door to ask if they could get their ball, really nicely - till I said they could just come and get them (but to watch where they walked in case of unpicked-up dog poo). Neither the balls or the boys do any damage (the part of the garden they come into is 'nice' btw). If they were cricket-mad I might think differently but kid's footballs really aren't that hard.

The mother was very apologetic about the balls and their 'noise' (bear in mind I have a DD with friends... and a barky dog!) - took a while to get her to relax!

Come Christmas, the boys appear bearing a box of nice biccies or chocolates to thank us. Smile Honestly, I don't mind the balls but its a nice gesture - everyone's happy!

mirry2 · 01/08/2013 18:18

Grimma I think that I would be happier if my neighbours were as goood as yours

CoTananat · 01/08/2013 18:40

My neighbour's kids do this and it is annoying. I was okay with it for the first five or six years but now they come round over and over. They knock on at the front and come through the house, probably three or four times a day on a dry day, and if I don't answer they just hammer on and yell. I do think they need space to play so I sucked it up while they were little.

The reason it annoys me is I have repeatedly offered to get a key cut for the back entry for my neighbour so the kids can get their own ball but my neighbour refuses to accept this. They're not bad kids but, well, one of them must be 14 now! When will it end? I have politely told the eldest it's pretty annoying to be continually interrupted (work from home). I don't feel like I'm a terrible misery for doing this. We all need to balance our needs in a city.

My neighbour is mostly a good sort, but I will admit I am happy to be moving away from the constant balls. Hurray moving!

whois · 01/08/2013 20:44

It is far easier to collect the various items in a box in the shed and give them back once a week. If the children come knocking then I ask for their parents to collect the item. That way the parent is just as inconvenienced as me and has some sort of understanding of just how often it happens

This is a good plan!

Surely the accepted status quo is if a ball goes over then it's gone? And you might be very lucky to have it given back at some point but you sure as hell can't go and bother the neighbours! Or maybe my parents had me enter trained than these neighbours.

shellbot · 01/08/2013 21:14

I think jamdonut is spot on with her 'within the limits' comment. My next door neighbour's boys kick a football about but it doesn't come over into my garden very often, however they've got a baseball bat which the garden isn't really big enough for so the ball more often than not comes over into my garden.

I throw the balls back when I'm out and see them but was very miffed one day when I was in the bath and they came to my door hammering on it, ringing the bell continually for ages because they'd knocked 3 balls over and didn't have any left. The other day one came over and hit my conservatory with a right bang. I jumped out of my skin!

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