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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be fed up of balls in my garden from next door?

234 replies

nomoreballs · 31/07/2013 19:41

Nearly everyday at least one ball gets thrown over the fence. The record was 5 in one day! I used to pick them up each time and throw them back but I am getting annoyed by it. If the kids are in the garden when I throw them back they never say thanks.

I had plans to get a greenhouse before they moved in but it's not worth even considering.

A few days ago I gave up throwing them back. I counted 4 balls in my garden this morning (plus one more that my dog was chewing on.)

Neither the kids or the parents have said anything yet. AIBU?

OP posts:
freddiefrog · 01/08/2013 09:19

I quite often have balls in the garden from next door. I usually lob them all back over in one go at the end of the day.

My youngest daughter managed to lob her space hopper over the fence one day so I have no room to moan about their balls Grin

mrsidriselba · 01/08/2013 09:19

My neighbour has a small basketball practice area built right up to the fence. The balls come over constantly and I've spent the last four years throwing them back. Now I don't because as long as the balls are in my garden, I don't have to listen to the thud thud of the ball being bounced on the concrete floor. All. Year. Round.

I've had plants broken and crushed. I've suggested them putting up a net to go round the practice court, a 10 by 10 net would do it, but no dice.So I wait until they come round and ask for the balls. The fence is too high to scale, and I'd go light if my garden was entered without permission.

I should say their back yard is large, and the hoop could be put elsewhere.

LadyMilfordHaven · 01/08/2013 09:25

Can't you put up a trellis on your side?

My mothers neighbours rammed a trampoline against her fence on an area already raised from mums garden. Jumpers can see into her bedroom. Nothing wrong with that, they said

usualsuspect · 01/08/2013 09:25

Everywhere I've lived there's been a non returner of balls.My kids used to wait until they had gone out and then climb over and get them.

BoohPear · 01/08/2013 09:29

The word 'balls' has lost all meaning! Grin

mrsidriselba · 01/08/2013 09:39

LadyMilfordHaven, I'm guessing you meant me. The neighbours put up a trellis, but the regulation height for a basketball hoop is way higher than the local council will allow for a fence, so the balls still come over, hence the suggestion they put up a net, which is eminently do-able and legal. But seemingly beyond them to manage.

In addition, the land falls steeply on my side, so a high fence from their side would be the Berlin wall from mine.

MrsHoarder · 01/08/2013 09:50

LadyMilfordHaven: "You must have seen there were kids there when you looked at the house"

Did you not read the same OP I did? She said when they moved in, ie she was there first.

And I happily threw balls back until stones started coming over. Parents need to teach their children that if they are dependent on the goodwill of others they shouldn't piss those others off by throwing large stones where the baby crawls.

weisswusrt · 01/08/2013 09:58

I used to roll the balls into my dogs most recent shit....then when the brats came round demanding their stuff back I'd take them to it and say 'oh dear, looks like it landed in fluffys poo, better be more careful in future'.

Sparklingbrook · 01/08/2013 10:00

Very adult weiss.

catchafallingstar · 01/08/2013 10:05

Tbh,I couldn't be bothered returning five balls a day and I have children. They can come and get them back themselves. The longer its iny garden, the l

Crinkle77 · 01/08/2013 10:08

maybe if you stop throwing them back they will have to come and knock on your door to get it. After they have done this a few times they might get fed up and be more careful.

weisswusrt · 01/08/2013 10:15

Just because I'm an adult does not mean I have to become some sort of martyred saint 'keeping the peace' at the cost of my sanity. As it happens those kids were nasty little things, who frankly....deserved it.

Sparklingbrook · 01/08/2013 10:16

Deserved a ball covered in dog poo? Sad Good lord.

DidoTheDodo · 01/08/2013 10:19

I once had a "discussion" with a lad of about 10 years old who had repeatedly kicked a ball over my fence and then tried to scale the fence to retrieve it. (This is what really annoys me - the fence will soon get broken - it wasn't meant to support the weight of a largish child).

After he had shouted at me and called me all sorts of names (because I asked him to walk round to collect his ball) I eventually threw it back. sadly I am a very bad ball-thrower and in landed in large and thorny bush.

Oh dear. What a shame.

Strangely, the ball has not made a reappearance over the fence since.

mumblechum1 · 01/08/2013 10:26

This drives dh mad as often the balls (last week there was a spacehopper as well Hmm generally land right in the flower borders which he's tended all year round, either having bought a lot of very expensive plants, or bringing them up from seed, only to be destroyed by balls.

The borders on that side are almost 15 feet deep, so take a lot of work.
He used to throw the balls back but has stopped now.

I did chuck the space hopper back the other day and called to the mum that I was throwing it over "is it ok for me to throw it back from here, or will it land in an expensive plant?" Yes I was a bit Passive Aggresive Grin

jamdonut · 01/08/2013 10:40

You are definitely not being unreasonable OP!!

I have lived in my (owned) house for 10 years. The house next door is Council -owned.
2 years ago our neighbours moved and a family with 3 boys ranging from (then)12 to 2 moved in. Since then we have had countless balls over the fence. They older boy plays football as if he was in Wembley stadium in the garden with his friends, or they play an irritating game where they kick the ball over the trampoline netting and someone on the netting punches it out. We watch the ball getting higher and closer to our our fence until...OOPS!! it goes over! Hmm

And it's not just balls, every day I pick up countless ,toys, nerf gun "bullets", lumps of concrete,half-eaten sandwiches,sweets,make-up brushes,trainers, pegs,that are not ours....the list is endless. Sometimes, if I'm feeling benevolent they get thrown back. They can't climb over our fence,thank goodness, because there are too many bushes and plants to do it safely.Not that I would allow it.
One day our greenhouse will be get broken. As it is we have to put up with plants being destroyed.

My children were taught to have respect for neighbours. If a ball went over ,it was a very rare occasion,and they either waited for someone to put it back over the fence or assumed it was lost. That made them careful.

We have a dog now, and the balls coming over has diminished slightly, but not the smaller things. Our dog (Lhasa Apso) eats everything, so we have to be extra vigilant.

jamdonut · 01/08/2013 10:43

Grin Grin Grin at "is it ok for me to throw it back from here, or will it land in an expensive plant?"

I'm going to use that one! (only because I know they definitely don't...if they did it would probably be ripped up and thrown over our fence anyway!!) Wink

Groovee · 01/08/2013 10:45

The rule in my house is "kick it over, go and knock next door. If it goes over our garage then we can retrieve it fine.

Last week dh kicked the ball, it went over the side fence and we've asked the 3 neighbours there if we could search their front gardens. We have no idea where it has gone and they're gossiping about the missing ball. Grin Another neighbour hauled her grandson out to check he hadn't pinched it and hidden it Blush.

But if the neighbour isn't in we have to wait on it coming back. We have once had an issue where a ball which wasn't ours kept being flung over the fence to our garden. When I spoke to the neighbour she said that she'd found it in her garden, so flung it over. Meanwhile I flung it over the back fence and a cycle continued as a dog walker kept throwing it back. It went in the bin eventually.

Kassett · 01/08/2013 10:51

I think it should land (or otherwise) in your dog's poo before you chuck it back. That'll teach them.

BrianTheMole · 01/08/2013 10:54

If peoples kids can't manage to keep the ball in their own gardens then maybe ball games should be saved for the park only. Amazingly our neighbours kids never kick their ball into our garden, they must be very clever.

Kassett · 01/08/2013 11:13

I agree Brian. Our old neighbours not only allowed their cat to come and shit in our garden but also the football to be kicked over many times. I was really upset as it damaged flowers I had growing and totally destroyed a beuatiful sunflower that I was so proud of growing.

kungfupannda · 01/08/2013 11:33

I'd be irritated by this. My PiL have children/teenagers on both sides of them and there are balls constantly coming over at the moment. They're both nice families and the parents keep asking the kids not to kick balls over the fence but it seems to go in one ear and out the other. They've had plants knocked over, a bit of fence broken, small grandkids smacked in the face by flying footballs.

And they always want the ball back NOWNOWITHASTOBERIGHTNOW, which generally involves my FiL, who is home the most, and can't walk very fast, getting up, opening the patio doors and going out to throw them back. Only to be expected to repeat another five times in the next fifteen minutes.

They've now started ignoring the constant requests - the balls get returned the next time someone is out in the garden. FiL keeps one of the curtains pulled slightly across the patio doors, so the kids can't see him if they look over the fence.

I was once cooking dinner round there. Everyone else was doing something elsewhere in the house and I was in the middle of cooking, and next-door's teenage son was hanging over the fence, trying to get me to go and get his ball. The kitchen window was open so I said "I'm doing something right now, you'll need to wait." He quite clearly heard me, but he just stayed there, waving his arms at me, as though I hadn't noticed him, and saying "Excuuuuuse me" over and over again and pointing to the ball.

I did eventually snap at him "I said WAIT. Your ball does not take priority over our dinner." His mother came out and had a go at him and sent him round to apologise. Funny, he seems to have managed to keep the ball in his own garden since then. The other side aren't doing so well, though.

xylem8 · 01/08/2013 11:38

why not just allow them to let themselves in to get it

EllesAngel · 01/08/2013 11:42

It seems from some of the replies on this thread that if kids kick balls into your garden and you have a nice garden and your flowers/shrubs get damaged that's just tough. If you have a baby/young child who gets hit by a ball being kicked into your garden that's also just tough.

After all kids must be able to play without showing any consideration to their neighbours and parents mustn't be expected to take their dc to the park to play football if said dc cannot play ball in their own gardens without constantly kicking the ball over the fence Hmm

We very rarely get balls over our garden, plus the garden needs sorting out atm, so it doesn't bother me when they do come over but it would if I had a nice garden and balls were coming over every day and damaging it.

BrianTheMole · 01/08/2013 11:46

why not just allow them to let themselves in to get it

I wouldn't want next doors kids traipsing through my garden up to five times a day. I would never let my kids do that to our neighbours, so rude. Why can't they just keep their toys and balls in their own garden, its really not difficult.