Does a 'save the date' for the whole day mean you should be invited to the whole the wedding day?

[TallulahBetty]

A year ago, we (me, DH and DD) received a 'save the date' for a wedding this September. It specifies for the whole day. Today, we received a wedding invite for all 3 of us, but only for the evening. Is this normal practice? I'm a bit miffed to be honest, but if this is normal I'm happy to very told I'm BU.

(Background - this is a girl I lived with at uni, and her boyfriend from uni. They came to our wedding 3 years ago - the whole day. I know that doesn't mean we SHOULD have a whole day invite, but we did save the whole day as she said we should. The evening do starts when DD goes to bed, so she can't go. And we live 3 hours away, so it would mean a 6-hour round trip for a few hours in the evening. We don't really want to stay over just felt an evening do. Other people we lived with have been invited all day.)

AIBU to be a bit miffed? Or is this normal and 'save the date' specifying the whole day doesn't always mean that?!

[LemonPeculiarJones]

Don't go. And strictly no cheque!

Just a nice bland card

[Greenkit]

TallulahBetty If you had been asked 'to save the day' and by that it was the whole day, then I stand by my comment of just phone her.

Say you had booked the whole day to come to the wedding and now it seems you are only coming to the evening, let her know that your really sorry but you cant make just the evening and explain why.

It doesn't really have to be an awkward conversation, just two adults discussing the problem.

[Lomaamina]

I feel your pain OP. Imagine if you'd bought train tickets or booked a hotel room. Save the date means they're asking you to make travel commitments, at the least, otherwise why bother to give you advanced notice?

[frissonpink]

Having read the updates now..

I'd almost be inclined to ring her and say that you had booked transport/hotels etc because she'd asked you to save the date. Just to see what she says! I'd say I was confused as to why I hadn't received a full invite. Make her squirm!

Really rude to get a card and then not get a full invite.

Mind you. We're deliberately just having wedding guests, rather than day guests and night guests. I don't personally like the idea of an A list and a B list! Either you want people to attend, or you don't! Evening only always makes me feel second best!