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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

£1,730 Aibu that this is alot of money

242 replies

RiceAndP · 30/07/2013 13:09

Maybe I'm being judgey/pissed off on a Rainey day today. Friend of mine has just booked herself a weeks all inclusive holiday to gran canaries, leaving her 2 DC with her husband. He doesn't work and neither does she, has no intention of and says " Why should I". This will be the third time she has gone away this year not counting her four day trip away at Christmas, staying in a four star hotel.
Last week in the hot weather she brought an enormous swimming pool costing £180. I'm sitting there thinking shit, that would be my food bill for two months.
This week I would dearly love to take DC out for the day but cant afford to. I work but am taking this week as holiday.
I can never hope to have this sort of wage into my house of £1,730 each month? Granted one of her Dc has a mild disability and has an active life in all he does, goes to school every day. Has to attend hospital appointments twice a year for check ups.
She also gets full H/B and C/T so really that's a lot of money going into taking care of this household.
I need a bloody holiday just to get over the figures given to people that don't work... Aibu..

OP posts:

SmiteYouWithThunderbolts · 30/07/2013 13:57

This thread is either total BS, or the woman in question is up to her eyes in debt with the likes of Bright House.

farrowandbawl · 30/07/2013 13:57

You can't claim JSA and Carers.

Carers is TAKEN OUT of income support. You get £50 a week Carers and £45 income support. That's it.

ParsingFancy · 30/07/2013 13:59

I'm voting for Option 1, Smite.

youarewinning · 30/07/2013 13:59

That still adds up to an income of circa £1300 a month without adding any basic CTC.

Coconutty · 30/07/2013 14:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

handcream · 30/07/2013 14:04

I think that if someone really just does live off benefits then of course it is too much for a holiday unless she cannot budget or of course has a cash in hand role. I dont have a cleaner but I suspect its rife claiming benefits and then getting cash in hand roles.

ParsingFancy · 30/07/2013 14:05

You know, some of these threads are worth picking apart, because there's some truth under all the OP's wild assumptions even though she's got the wrong end of the stick.

And some aren't.

Boring rainy day, innit?

Original poster

RiceAndP · 30/07/2013 14:07

Her monthly income from benefits is £1730 this
Is made up from Income support , carers allowance,
Child tax credits , csa. This is not including child benefit.
Full housing benefit and council tax is also paid on too of this. Holidays abroad to Spain are booked as last minute so a bit cheaper for the right deal.
Child tax credits for 2 adults that don't work is a lot and I get less than them and I do work.
Yes they live a life if luxury that most working people don't.
Her son has a very mild disability and copes very well and does not or has never needed round the click care.
It galls me because most of the money is spent on both of them smoking 40 fags a day , his weed habit ,holidays and needless swimming pools!!

OP posts:

50shadesofmeh · 30/07/2013 14:08

I earn more than £1700 a month and I can barely afford one holiday a year.
Also how do you manage to spend £100 a month on food?

cheerfulweather · 30/07/2013 14:11

Where does the money for all the holidays come from? I'd say it wasn't manageable on that sort of income.

jacks365 · 30/07/2013 14:11

At 40 a day for both of them she'll save the cost of the holiday buying cigarettes abroad. The benefits system isn't perfect but nothing would be.

HaveIGotPoosForYou · 30/07/2013 14:12

I know exactly what you mean.

I am on benefits too as me and my partner are disabled, but daughter is not. Partner works full time and I am at home with DD as she is 16 weeks old, but will work part time too when she's older.

I never quite get how some people get so much money but then again, we don't do too bad as far as benefits go. I doubt that'll be the same though when the new DLA equivalent comes to us next year.

But I am honestly thankful and really only spend large amounts of stuff for DD, not myself. I couldn't understand how others could do that. I do feel guilty if I buy myself a nice dress and my parents offered to have DD for the night for us to go to a hotel for our anniversary but I honestly couldn't do it, I can't see it's a good enough reason to spend £80.

So no, you aren't being unreasonable. But not all people on benefits get really large amounts. It always seems to be those who deserve to get more, really don't.

As long as she's a nice person though and puts the majority of the money towards her kids, you can't really argue too much really can you. I mean I know 1 holiday a year would be lovely and hopefully we can have a few days away on our own and a few days away with DD but it'll be in the UK and not mega expensive. But that's us and we don't like splashing the cash.

I am sorry you feel a bit out of pocket though OP. People can be really judgmental on MN. Of course it's not unreasonable to feel like you are getting a lot less than a friend.

mrsjay · 30/07/2013 14:14

they are on the fiddle somewhere or they are just not paying bills or something nobody on benefits can afford all that

corlan · 30/07/2013 14:16

It galls me because most of the money is spent on both of them smoking 40 fags a day

Well,no point getting bent out of shape about it. They'll be dead of cancer soon and the child will be an orphan and you'll have nowt to be jealous of.

HTH

Fakebook · 30/07/2013 14:17

Let me see, would I envy or feel anger at a family with a child with a disability? Erm, no. I'd rather have healthy children thanks. They could live in a 10 bedroom mansion and have 20 holidays a year for all I care.

cheerfulweather · 30/07/2013 14:20

"they are on the fiddle somewhere or they are just not paying bills or something nobody on benefits can afford all that"

Agree.

mynameisslimshady · 30/07/2013 14:24

Your friend is clearly a bitch, she should be cleaning the shoes of people who work and begging for scraps from your plate. You are so much better than her, you are amazing and she is shit.

Is that what you wanted to hear?

Original poster

RiceAndP · 30/07/2013 14:32

There is no rent to pay or council tax, so they are left with the whole of the amount in their hands each month.
Working people that earn £1700 monthly will have to pay rent/mortgage/childcare. Her other son is in nursery 9 till 3
5 days a week for free. So why can't they both go out and work?
She is not in debt and her bills are paid.

OP posts:

farrowandbawl · 30/07/2013 14:34

There will be certain amount to pay for Council tax.

farrowandbawl · 30/07/2013 14:35

Housing benefit goes straight to the landlord or housing association.

Original poster

RiceAndP · 30/07/2013 14:35

No not a bitch at all, I'm not better than her or amazing. Your words not mine.
Benefits are a lot that working people don't earn.

OP posts:

farrowandbawl · 30/07/2013 14:36

There are nursery places that EVERY child is entitled to for free, she wont be getting the full week for free.

cheerfulweather · 30/07/2013 14:36

I'm struggling to understand, I thought there was a benefit cap of £500 per week. With housing costs and so on added that would be way over.

farrowandbawl · 30/07/2013 14:37

Benefits can be claimed by WORKING PEOPLE.

DLA
Carers allowance
Income support
HOUSING BENEFIT
Child Tax Credits
Child Benefit
Working tax credit

farrowandbawl · 30/07/2013 14:38

The £500 a week hasn't come in yet, and even if it did, it would n't affect this family has they or a child claims DLA. In theory.

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