to give dd food before paying for it?

[cantsleep]

Went to shops today with dcs. Dd was a bit tired and hungry and I wanted to get in and out quickly and home.

She was very hungry and has health issues and needed to eat that minute so I picked something up and let her have it. I have not done this before but couldn't have gone and paid then given it to her and continued shopping as she needed to eat straight away. Usually I have a snack in my bag for her but she had already had that one and I was going to buy more snack bits for her from the shops to replenish the ones I carry for her.

I noticed that a shop assistant was watching us intently and kept seeing her as we went round the shop.

When we got to the till I took the packet off dd for the man to scan and gave it back to her. As we were leaving the member of staff who had been watching approached us with a security guard and asked had we paid for what dd had eaten round the shop. I replied yes we had but she asked to check the receipt which obviously was fine.

She then told me that in future we HAD to pay for food before consuming it. I explained to her that it was a one off as I had run out of snacks I usually carry and dd needed to eat immediately but the security guard said food has to be paid for first.

It wasn't like I do this all the time and tbh as long as the food is paid for does it really matter?

WIBU to have let dd eat her snack before we had paid for it?

Just to clarify, my DD hardly eats and at 20 months will breastfeed all day in favour of food if I let her. In fact, she cries during dinners and asks to be breastfed instead.

I was actually very grateful that my DD wanted the fruit sachets because of this reason and it is half the reason I was quick to give them to her, in case she changed her mind and decided she wanted breast milk instead.

And funnily enough I have been spending the last few months reducing the amount of meat my family eats in favour of more fruit and veg as I find societies culture in regards to meat consumption (and general food consumption) alarmingly glutinous. But yes, I will continue to allow my daughter to 'graze' as long as I pay for the item.

I don't think giving children snacks in the supermarket is indicative of larger societal problems, I think there is a lot more going on in society than that.

I find the generalisation made by Sooty a little insulting but I suppose I am just being sensitive.

Another one who's done this while pregnant. Usually a carton of OJ (or something else high in sugars) from a multi-pack. And I can understand anyone doing this for a child, as they are far less able to regulate their behaviour when having a dip in blood sugar. Wouldn't normally do this though - if very hungry would wait until I get back to the car to scarf down some food, or visit the in-store café.
Definitely would not do this abroad. Supermarkets in the rest of Europe don't tend to have the same level of customer service as here in the UK. Shopping in swiss supermarket Migros always felt like shopping in Lidl etc (minimal service), despite the very exorbitant prices.

aside from the issue of whether it is theft or not I just feel it is very uncivilised the way children seem to spend all day eating. mine have breakfast, lunch and supper and occasionally tea. just like I do, and did as a child.
we don't have snacks for the supermarket, for the train, bus, walk, etc etc. I find it bizarre.

Personally I don't do this - something about it seems very strange to me!!

It was morissons.

It was just so busy, people at every till so would have taken 5+ mins to pay and dd needed it straight away.

I've never done it before, I make dcs wait till we have paid but on this occasion as I'd used up all my snacks I didn't see any other option.
I just didn't like the way they pounced as I was leaving and spoke to me in such an accusing tone.

We do keep to regular mealtimes etc for dd and try to keep her blood sugar stable but she is only little and had walked a little bit from car to shop, then had a tantrum so I think that had made it drop a bit.

I was just anxious to avoid it dropping further and becoming a hypo so grabbed some food and gave it to her before rushing round to get what we needed with her and other dcs then rushing home in time for dinner.

It is a difficult juggling act currently getting balance right

People have a problem with this?

Wow!

please please can we agree that there's a huge difference between a small child munching on something or an adult scoffing down pre-cooked chicken drumsticks and washing it down with a can of cola?

No, the overweight, entitled adult scarfing chicken in the aisle with no sense of delayed gratification, a skewed view of food as a placebo, an antisocial need to eat in odd places for emotional and disorganised reasons? That's the grown-up result of this odd practice.

I've only seen this in Britain and America. Never in Europe or Africa and rarely in the Middle East (and that was UK expats).

I think it's thoroughly unnecessary. Nobody in the UK will starve if they are deprived of 'snacks' during an average supermarket shop. Why not use online if your children are prone to screaming until you give them crisps off a supermarket shelf?

Medical issues presumably require more stringent planning and organisation? Surely if you get caught out so dangerously, you'd be grateful to a supermarket for letting you feed your child in an emergency, not threatening staff who are doing their job.

Do we see a correlation between childhood obesity and constant snacking?

Does nobody take toys or their own food to the supermarket to entertain children any more?

[crinolined humourless Victorian parent emoticon]

Sorry I probably should have clarified earlier (I am probably guilty of drip feeding now).

Dd has had a few days of 'running low' and has gone through more snacks than usual despite us lowering her insulin slightly. She had had all the snacks I had on me and had none left at home so went to get more.

I still had her 'hypo kit' on me- glucose tablets, juice etc but her blood sugar wasn't that low it was heading that way though and when she started saying she was hungry it was just a case of eat something quickly so we could get round the shop and home asap.
Other dcs waited till their crisps had been paid for. They moaned but they were just hungry and could wait the few mins till we paid, which they did.

I am always at snacking in a supermarket. There are two points to the thread.

1. snacking on goods not yet paid for in general
2. Managing a diabetic child.

1. Children won't starve if they have to wait. Feeding them there and then teaches instant gratification. Give them something to eat before leaving to go shopping and if they create remove them from the shop!
2. Regular snacks are particularly important for a diabetic child. You should have bought the snacks, fed the child outside, happy main shopping!

disclaimer: DD was type 1 diabetic!

It's called " theft by consumption" , you proved you actually paid, it was embarrassing to be stopped and you probably will not do it again. The store's staff were in the right though.

I used to do that all the time and never had any issues with the store staff. My ex husband didn't like me doing it though as he thought it was wrong and walked around worrying that I would get arrested for giving our screaming toddler a snack before paying for it but then this was the man who wouldn't even walk around sainsburys with me while I breast fed our newborn baby lol. Strange man, hence why we are no longer together ;)

I just panic, she 'drops' so quickly that I wanted her to eat there and then (blood sugar was 4.2). It is a relatively new diagnosis so I'm still getting to grips with it.

In future I will make sure my bag is better stocked with snacks !

I did this a lot with my 3 (3 under 18 months) as it helped me actually do shopping.I was happy to bring stuff in but was worried re being had up for shop lifting.Checked a few times re policy and without exception was told they'd rather I bought store suff and there was zero problem re dc eating packet stuff(not weighed fruit) before payment.

At our lovely Sainsbos they used to laugh,scan and hand back- which is why I spent huge amounts of money there.

My dd has blood sugar issues too.

I found re shopping with babies/ toddlers I often ran over into lunch time or they got bored. Getting through a rare treat of Organix carrot sticks kept them quiet for aaaaages. Store happy(as I spent more), babies happy and mummy happy.

Obviously now they're older I don't as they do half the shopping if with me.

Op change shop.

You walked around pushing a trolley whilst breastfeeding kezLOU1977? That sounds too much like hard work. I always fed sitting down, if my husband was with me I'd have just sent him round the supermarket whilst I fed if the baby couldn't wait until the shopping was finished. I've never seen anyone wandering around with a baby on their boob, but don't tend to pay other people much attention in supermarkets so maybe I've just missed this happening.

The shop assistant should have kept watching you intently as you went through the checkout, and she would have seen you pay for it.

Any medical issues then fair enough but otherwise agree people should wait until they leave to start eating.

Actually I doubt all customers do end up paying for all their grazing and just rely on the fact they're " a busy Mum" as a get out clause if they do get challenged ie an innocent mistake

I've seen people do this a few times but I've never felt comfortable to do it myself tbh. You could have bought the snack for her and she could have eaten it before you went around to buy all the shopping.

Saying that, I don't think the shop were unreasonable. The shop assistants and security are paid to make sure everyone pays for everything, they checked you had, you had, so end of. I think they were reasonable- not sure what the problem is tbh.

The queues were too long to pay for it before she ate it, if I'd done that she probably would have had a hypo.

Just been one of those weeks where she has eaten all her snacks but I think I've learnt I need a bigger stock of them now.
I understand the staff wanted to check but like another poster said they could have watched at the till to see me pay for it and I did find their tone quite accusing but maybe that was me just feeling stressed and aware that a few people were watching and listening whilst I tried to explain.

I usually do my shopping online and it has just cemented my views as to to why its so much easier than taking dcs food shopping!

Why is it always 'stuffing food'

I've seen children eating crisps etc I've never seen anyone stuffing them into their children's mouths.

I did this on occasion, not on a regular basis, but enough. This was in tescos and I never had a problem. This was probably well over 8 years ago though so maybe some shops policies have changed drastically.

As long as its not a habit, ie every shopping trip then I can't see why it would be an issue for your children to have a snack on the rare occasion you have forgotten to bring one, or you have misjudged the timing of your trip or on the odd occasion when you can't calm them down

My children are well behaved, do what they are told and are used to the word no, but as I am human the odd variation from the norm happens

"It's bad manners to do this"
How? Surely, the opposite is true. It keeps your children quiet and entertained and out of everyone's way.

"It's theft"
How? Surely, it's only theft if you don't pay. I pay every time, check I have my purse every time. If people do steal it, that's a different thread. We're not talking about that on this one.

"It affect the stores turnover negatively"
How? Again, the opposite is true. I spend more because I can browse in peace and fill my trolley.

"You should go to customer services first/pay twice"
Really? Is that in the stores interest? That takes up more staff.

"You should be able to control your children without resorting to food"
I can. Stop judging.

In the last contentious thread about this Usual, nobody ate.
They troughed, stuffed, scarfed and gobbled, insert word of your choice.
It's 'cos they're common innit.

Lady did they also wolf down and gorge?