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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to give dd food before paying for it?

735 replies

cantsleep · 29/07/2013 22:20

Went to shops today with dcs. Dd was a bit tired and hungry and I wanted to get in and out quickly and home.

She was very hungry and has health issues and needed to eat that minute so I picked something up and let her have it. I have not done this before but couldn't have gone and paid then given it to her and continued shopping as she needed to eat straight away. Usually I have a snack in my bag for her but she had already had that one and I was going to buy more snack bits for her from the shops to replenish the ones I carry for her.

I noticed that a shop assistant was watching us intently and kept seeing her as we went round the shop.

When we got to the till I took the packet off dd for the man to scan and gave it back to her. As we were leaving the member of staff who had been watching approached us with a security guard and asked had we paid for what dd had eaten round the shop. I replied yes we had but she asked to check the receipt which obviously was fine.

She then told me that in future we HAD to pay for food before consuming it. I explained to her that it was a one off as I had run out of snacks I usually carry and dd needed to eat immediately but the security guard said food has to be paid for first.

It wasn't like I do this all the time and tbh as long as the food is paid for does it really matter?

WIBU to have let dd eat her snack before we had paid for it?

OP posts:
ThisReallyIsNotSPNopeNotAtAll · 31/07/2013 00:04

No, usual now its lager and oreos Grin

How are the consequences usual? Are they severe?

Permanentlyexhausted · 31/07/2013 00:08

Ach well, mine neither asked for food, nor were they ever given any, when I did the supermarket shop and luckily they tended to have fairly short arms so they couldn't reach it either.

Actually they were probably just too fascinated by the strange lady pushing them in the trolley to think of anything else. You know, what with me bugering off to work every day and leaving them in the care of dp strangers.

Seriously, ladies, the fact that I have never allowed my children to graze in the supermarket makes me neither perfect nor smug. It is just the way it is.

moshmoshi · 31/07/2013 00:09

I think it was fair enough for the OP to do this given her worry about her DD.

However in normal circumstances how difficult is it to go and pay for something, then continue your shop- not very. The people who insist on taking empty packets to the checkout sound a bit lazy and entitled to me.

I'm sure shops lose a lot of stock from all the people who do this then forget (either accidentally or deliberately) to pay. Fact is the stuff isn't yours till you've paid for it.

I either pay for a snack at the beginning of the shop if my DCs are hungry or their snack will go first through the checkout and they will eat it whilst I'm packing the shopping.

ThisReallyIsNotSPNopeNotAtAll · 31/07/2013 00:11

Yes totally lazy and entitled Hmm

People on MN use the word entitled for the sake of it I think.

Entitled because people open something they are going to pay for.

usualsuspect · 31/07/2013 00:15

I'm neither lazy or entitled.I just did what I could to get me through the day.

I couldn't care less how you chose to do it.

5madthings · 31/07/2013 00:18

I really don't think toddlers eating in shops is new, my gran often talks about how when my dad was little he always got given a bit of bread/fruit etc depending on if they were at the bakers or the grocery shop, given to them by the shopkeeper! Of course you don't get that so much now as the supermarkets have forced so many small shops out of business.

The grocers where o used to live gave me a bouquet of flowers when I went in with newborn ds2, they often gave ds1 a bit of fruit etc as well :)

Now of course supermarkets don't have that personal service like smaller shops used to :(

ThisReallyIsNotSPNopeNotAtAll · 31/07/2013 00:19

If I was lazy wouldn't I just do it online instead of walking?

Dont walk back though!

Lazy, entitled with consequences ahead.

ThisReallyIsNotSPNopeNotAtAll · 31/07/2013 00:25

Sometimes I wonder if some people on MN are real or not. I never hear any of this in RL.

moshmoshi · 31/07/2013 00:33

You're getting a bit angry about a very minor issue!

I accept there are different points of view about this but I think that nothing in your shopping basket is yours until you've actually paid for it so(in most circumstances) it shouldn't be opened and eaten!

ThisReallyIsNotSPNopeNotAtAll · 31/07/2013 00:35

Angry? Who is getting angry?

I think that is your opinion and you have your right to it and I have a right to mine.

I am paying for it, I know I can pay for it so to me its a non issue

moshmoshi · 31/07/2013 00:37

Ok, sorry about that, your tone sounded angry to me- agree to differ and all that!

ThisReallyIsNotSPNopeNotAtAll · 31/07/2013 00:46

Grin my tone sounded angry. I cant get angry at MN. This thread is hilarious tbh

tabulahrasa · 31/07/2013 00:50

How can you know you can pay for it? You might have the funds to pay for it, but that doesn't always guarantee that you can successfully pay for it.

Unless you're psychic in which case, can you give me lottery numbers or stock tips or something?

ThisReallyIsNotSPNopeNotAtAll · 31/07/2013 00:53

Because I have the funds. Should the card machine not work then I would go outside the store and use their cash machine outside. Or I would have already taken the cash out before I went into the store.

So yes I would say 100% certain I can pay

tabulahrasa · 31/07/2013 00:58

I've had two cards where the chip has suddenly failed and the card has never worked again.

What about a power cut and the tills don't work?

ThisReallyIsNotSPNopeNotAtAll · 31/07/2013 01:05

Grin Are you for real?

Should a power cut occur I am guessing I will have to wait for the power to come back on just like everyone else.

If my card doesn't work then I will have to transfer it to my other account and use that card.

Happy?

If a elephant came in and ransacked all the tills then I would leave change on the side for what ever my son has eaten or used.

Should I go back in time as I came to pay I would get another time machine to send me back.

poppingin1 · 31/07/2013 01:09

I am pissing myself over that one tabula Grin

Funniest post on this thread so far!

tabulahrasa · 31/07/2013 01:12

Hmm If you can't tell me any lottery numbers or stock tips, then I'm not believing you have access to a time machine. Grin

Yes I know, mostly you can pay what you plan to - but I don't think things are yours until you have actually done that.

I don't think it's a sign of impending dystopia that people eat things and then pay for them, but they're still eating things that belong to someone else.

ThisReallyIsNotSPNopeNotAtAll · 31/07/2013 01:14

Well you will have to take that up with the 3 year old. He is the one doing the eating

Goooooooooooooooooooooood · 31/07/2013 01:23

I forgot my purse once at the petrol station AFTER my car had already gobbled down loads of petrol Sad The staff didnt seem the least bit bothered and just asked me to pop back later to pay. Which I did.

Emilythornesbff · 31/07/2013 08:01

Yay. You'rer still here.
Morning!
I love the "power cut/ bank card fail" scenarios.
So I guess we should stop eating out in restaurants then.

I wish I hadn't shopped yesterday. I would enjoy it so much more today. Might make an impromptu gin and crisp picnic on the way round.

It's ridiculous to suggest that feeding a hungry toddler whilst shopping will lead to obesity/ poor impulse control or any other health / behaviour / social issue.
It is also ridiculous to suggest that because someone feeds their hungry toddler at this time, they themselves are incapable of getting round the shop without "stuffing their own faces"
It is erroneous to equate "aisle grazing" with theft. It just isn't.

Places where toddlers are not welcome to eat (according to MN lore):

Coffee shops (to disruptive to naice ppl wishing to havea quiet coffee and read the dm.)
Pubs (too disruptive to adults wanting to get pissed and talk about important grown up shit)
Fast food restaurants (unhealthy food for their DCs)
Other restaurants (not naice for adults who might be there just having adult time)

And now: supermarkets.

Grin
TheSmallClanger · 31/07/2013 08:14

You are supposed to buy food in supermarkets, not eat it.

Emilythornesbff · 31/07/2013 08:46

Yawn

Emilythornesbff · 31/07/2013 08:47

Nobody has advocated not buying the food.

ZingWidge · 31/07/2013 08:50

hi Ems