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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to give dd food before paying for it?

735 replies

cantsleep · 29/07/2013 22:20

Went to shops today with dcs. Dd was a bit tired and hungry and I wanted to get in and out quickly and home.

She was very hungry and has health issues and needed to eat that minute so I picked something up and let her have it. I have not done this before but couldn't have gone and paid then given it to her and continued shopping as she needed to eat straight away. Usually I have a snack in my bag for her but she had already had that one and I was going to buy more snack bits for her from the shops to replenish the ones I carry for her.

I noticed that a shop assistant was watching us intently and kept seeing her as we went round the shop.

When we got to the till I took the packet off dd for the man to scan and gave it back to her. As we were leaving the member of staff who had been watching approached us with a security guard and asked had we paid for what dd had eaten round the shop. I replied yes we had but she asked to check the receipt which obviously was fine.

She then told me that in future we HAD to pay for food before consuming it. I explained to her that it was a one off as I had run out of snacks I usually carry and dd needed to eat immediately but the security guard said food has to be paid for first.

It wasn't like I do this all the time and tbh as long as the food is paid for does it really matter?

WIBU to have let dd eat her snack before we had paid for it?

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 30/07/2013 16:24

No it didn't...but I thought I might have Grin

mummytowillow · 30/07/2013 16:25

I work for major retailer and its not ok. People sometimes forget and then get accused of theft when they leave the store. Sad

Technically it is theft and I've known people to get a trespass notice.

I will confess to doing it occasionally though Wink

b584 · 30/07/2013 16:30

It's all well and good if you are 100% sure that when you get to the till with the packaging that you can pay for it, I work in a shop and yesterday I had a customer come to my till, ( I was the only one on the till) put through £70 worth of shopping including 2 eaten ice cream wrappers, when it came to paying she didn't have her card as apparently her dd had used it a few days before and hadn't given it back.

She said she only lived five minutes down the road and would be back, I could not serve anyone else so had to call for another colleage to work another till till she came back, guess what? she never came back,

Eating or drinking somthing in a shop or supermarket is not on unless you are 100% certain that you can and will pay for it,

poppingin1 · 30/07/2013 16:35

Goodness, now I feel very guilty for these massive supermarket chains who are destroying small businesses and ripping us off at every turn.

Poor them!

JugglingFromHereToThere · 30/07/2013 16:41

Quite poppin - it's not as if the big stores are offering that much in the way of service to earn their £50 or £100 quid off you is it ?
A few crisps for a toddler and an empty crisp packet at the till doesn't seem much of a hardship really.

Justforlaughs · 30/07/2013 16:47

People do this all the time, I have done it myself on occasions. However, you would probably be shocked OP at the number of empty wrappers that we find every day on the aisles where people have eaten items/ allowed their DCs to eat items during their shopping trip and haven't taken the wrapper to the till to pay. I can understand why the assistant was wary, but she should have watched you pay, or said something when you first gave the food to your DD.

ProudAS · 30/07/2013 16:56

Those of you who are criticising the OP should remember that her DD is diabetic and needed to eat desperately. If it was normal child whinging and whining it would be a different matter.

PissesGlitter · 30/07/2013 17:04

Disclaimer - i have not read the whole thread

Most stores have signs asking customers not to consume food or drinks in store
What would happen if your child/you dropped something and someone else slipped on it??
Would you be taken for compensation? No it would be the store
I have worked in retail for 10 years and never known a store not to have signs up

The store i work in now actively asks you to leave for the reasons above

It is not a good idea to eat or drink in shops
If your child needs food take them outside to eat before you shop

NobodyPutsTomArcherInTheCorner · 30/07/2013 17:09

I must admit I do wonder if anyone'd mind if I opened my wine on the way round. That'd make the whole thing much more bearable.

ThisReallyIsNotSPNopeNotAtAll · 30/07/2013 17:11

Nobody Vodka would be more acceptable. I would sit in the aisle with a bottle just rocking gently while toddler says 'can i have' over and over

Gruntfuttock · 30/07/2013 17:13

Does anyone who lives outside the UK do this and do those that do it in the UK also do it when they are in supermarkets abroad?

anklebitersmum · 30/07/2013 17:17

I don't do it. The eldest biter gets sent with the right number of bananas to the till and gets a receipt if they're 'we're hungrying'.

Mind you, having said that I did turn round to find DD2 had eaten 2/3 of the insides of a loaf of warm bread whilst I thought she was just smelling it once. The staff in Morrisons thought it was highly amusing. Blush

I do think they were out of order to have made a big issue of checking the receipt though. If they were watching you as you are clearly the Ronnie Biggs of our time then they'd have seen you hand it over to the cashier so why the 'big deal'?
Smacks of newly promoted jobsworth-she knew whether you'd paid or not when she asked you and if she didn't she should have been watching more closely.

In European supermarkets there are lots of samples even booze at X-mas and the deli counter practically insisted on feeding the biters as many strange meats as they could on each visit.

Poppy4453 · 30/07/2013 17:22

I always fed mine when they were tots, now I only feed them if they are tired/difficult.

It's less stressful for everyone. Really you would rarther listen to toddlers melting down???

I can always pay for it and have never forgotten. It's fine.

Fishandjam · 30/07/2013 17:24

I have to admit that I think supermarket grazing is not a good thing for all sorts of reasons. But if you're going to pay then I personally feel it's not a biggie (I don't do it, but then I don't do all sorts of things that other people do).

Not paying for it is definitely a biggie. Supermarket grazing isn't victimless. And we can sneer at how we don't feel sorry for the big supermarkets all we like - it's still theft. (A person is guilty of theft if he dishonestly appropriates property belonging to another with the intention of permanently depriving the other of it - section 1, Theft Act 1968, for anyone who's interested. And also section 2(2) - (2) A person?s appropriation of property belonging to another may be dishonest notwithstanding that he is willing to pay for the property.)

WorraLiberty · 30/07/2013 17:27

I just wonder if in 20+yrs time, the kids will be wishing their parents did deal with their tantrums, rather than offer them food.

TheSmallClanger · 30/07/2013 17:30

It can create mess and waste, which puts the store's overheads up and means the extra cost is passed on to the customer.

One of my best friends is a retail manager in a big supermarket and they are looking at ways of drastically reducing grazing. People think it is okay to rip into multipacks, "weigh" banana skins and expect the till staff to manhandle half-eaten food covered in child drool (I have seen this myself).

I never graze, and I have never allowed DD to either. And I have an endocrine problem which means that I sometimes need to eat quickly - I just pay first.

usualsuspect · 30/07/2013 17:31

So supermarket scoffing is the end of civilisation as we know it and the cause of obesity now is it?

Only on MN.

usualsuspect · 30/07/2013 17:32

I did it with my kids, they seem to have grown up without asbos and ED.

Canidae · 30/07/2013 17:38

Supermarket worker here.

It is something that is mentioned in training and we are meant to alert the security guard to customers who do this but no one has time for that! When it comes to small children it is generally just accepted because if the kids are happy then the parent will stay longer and spend more.

Personally I don't care if your child has a packet of crisps as long as the packet is scanned it isn't a big deal. If it was a diabetic child then I would think nothing of it. In fact I have given an elderly lady a mars bar and a glass of water before as she needed it. We would rather that than have someone become ill.

But it drives me crazy when parents let the child drop food/rubbish on the floor and don't clean it up. We have no cleaner in our store and time spent cleaning means less time spent stocking shelves/serving on checkouts etc. Plus it is a trip hazard AND we would be marked down for it if a mystery customer was around.

While I'm here I might as well say everything! Please, please don't dump chilled/frozen items around the store. We have to throw it away and the waste is huge.

Thankyou for reading. Have a good day! Grin

ThisReallyIsNotSPNopeNotAtAll · 30/07/2013 17:42

Usual how the fuck have they managed that?! Grin

MN is hilarious at times

WorraLiberty · 30/07/2013 17:46

It's good that your kids grew up without EDs usual

But it has to be said, many adults suppress their emotions with food...and they struggle to stop.

Handing a child food to stop them from tantrumming or getting bored, is suppressing their emotions.

Of course it's not guaranteed to lead to an ED, but I don't think it's wise.

ZingWidge · 30/07/2013 17:47

SP & usual Grin Grin

it must have been the hamwidges they scoffed.
kk

ZingWidge · 30/07/2013 17:50

worra totally agree.
it is just that

and it also supresses my emotions so I'm not screaming with frustration in public...

win-win

usualsuspect · 30/07/2013 17:52

Oh come on, my DD works in a supermarket can you imagine listening to all those screaming kids all day.

Give 'em the crisps she says. Shut them.up.

specialsubject · 30/07/2013 17:55

while recognising the 'storm in a teacup' issue, and that occasionally people cock up and don't have food handy for the kid, not impressed with the idea that it is ok to steal from big corporations because they are big corporations.

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