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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

in hating other people making comments on my parenting?

112 replies

hoochycoo · 29/07/2013 07:07

this makes my blood boil. People should mind their own surely?

ie :

Random women on the bus, "ooooooooh be careful, he'll fall, he's not safe " when DS, who is four, is sitting on a bus seat rather than in a buggy.

I responded "he's fine thank you and I'm his mum thanks, i'm perfectly capable of looking after him"

Random woman in street, "that baby's in the sun, she'll burn", when DD, who is one, is sitting in her buggy in full sunshine with suncream on a short five minute journey into a shadey place.

I responded "she's fine thank you and I'm her mum thanks, i'm perfectly capable of looking after her"

Had someone else tell me off for letting my baby hold a glowstick as she would "bite it and get in in her mouth" .

I responded "she's fine thank you and I'm her mum thanks, i'm perfectly capable of looking after her"

i've even had people pick up my crawling baby and hold her protectively when she's crawling about as she " might pick some up off the floor and choke on it"

etc

AIBU in letting this really get on my nerves?

OP posts:

Goldenbear · 29/07/2013 20:01

I think if you worry about this stuff you have a bit of an inferiority complex. If you're self assured and secure in your decision making process then you shouldn't care what people think.

Kendodd · 29/07/2013 20:15

Do you get so angry if people come up to you to say what a good job your doing as well?

Original poster

hoochycoo · 29/07/2013 20:20

Like i said, people generally don't randomnly come and complimet my parenting. I don't think i've ever had anyone stop me and say 'excuse me, i've been watching you for the past half hour and am amazed at your resilence and persistence at putting that sun hat back on that baby" or " well done that woman, it's 10am, you've been up since 5, you've been screamed at constantly, cleaned up three different types of bodily fluid and haven't lost the plot yet. Quite frankly you deserve a gin"

OP posts:

Wallison · 29/07/2013 20:23

^^will a glowstick really just combust and shower a child in chemicals when in the hands of a four toothed one year old for a couple of minutes, whilst in the watchful arms of his mother?

My DNephew got burned after a glowstick he was holding (ie holding not chewing) burst all over him. So yes, pretty much what you say can just happen. Nasty things, they are. I don't let my DS anywhere near them now.

Goldenbear · 29/07/2013 20:28

Maybe you look like the kind of person that would take a compliment the wrong way?

Have people never said anything about how well behaved your DC are in a restaurant or how happy they are?

Goldenbear · 29/07/2013 20:29

Maybe you look like the kind of person that would take a compliment the wrong way?

Have people never said anything about how well behaved your DC are in a restaurant or how happy they are?

Goldenbear · 29/07/2013 20:30

Apologies for the repeat.

Original poster

hoochycoo · 29/07/2013 20:30

Like I said, I'll rethink the glowstick, after all these reports. Thanks for your story. Seems so unlikely tho, the thinks seem completely indestructible to me, I've had some hanging around for years. Doubt they'll ever biodegrade! We are talking the little plastic bracelet type ones?

OP posts:

Original poster

hoochycoo · 29/07/2013 20:35

Yes Goldenbear, they have. Actually come to think if it they've been complimented on a train too. To be honest, since I forgot it probably didn't have a big impact on me either way. Doesn't feel as personal and intrusive as unwanted advice. But still can be quite patronising. Ie: aw isn't your baby good ( ie quiet)

I'm sure you'd like me if you met me Goldenbear.

OP posts:

Goldenbear · 29/07/2013 20:42

Yes I'm sure I would. Didn't mean last comment in a sneery way but if I heard someone reply like that to a comment on your parenting, I'd definitely hold back with the compliments because I wouldn't want you to take it the wrong way.

Goldenbear · 29/07/2013 20:46

I have said something to parents' in outright abusive situations, this has only happened twice but I hate confrontation and would not say anything about lesser scenarios.

hamab · 29/07/2013 21:12

I agree it's annoying sometimes. My friend's dd had excema and she was accosted a couple of times by people accusing her of letting her get sunburnt. I used to get accosted for my baby not wearing socks in the winter. Every time I put them on, she took them off and threw them away. So I put them back on, again and again and again. I had a cosy toes - but she'd wriggle out. So if we happened to be in a relatively warm indoor shopping centre, I wouldn't stress too much if she'd wriggled out and had no socks on. But the reaction was comical - that baby's got no socks on! It's usually from people like my dm who haven't looked after a small dc in 40 years and have completely forgotten that you can't glue a hat or socks to a dc. On the glowsticks though - I saw an adult just snap one to get it to glow the other day and it just burst open in her face. I never realised they could do this until then.

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