to expect my sister to put herself out for ONE night?

[HDEE]

Typing on phone so excuse any errors

I am so angry with my sister. I am currently in a hospital 1.5 hours from home. I have been here for three weeks now as my waters broke early at 21/22 weeks and this was the nearest hospital with a suitable NICU cot.

Baby was born on Friday. He is incredibly sick. His first two nights I was called to NICU in the night as they didn't expect him to survive. Last night he suffered major bleeds to both sides of his brain. We have been told he is critical and any worsening of the bleed (very likely) will mean discussing withdrawing intensive care.

I asked my sister if she could please stay overnight at my house (she has been there through the day looking after my three year old twins and six year old) but decided shed rather go home.

This means that should I need to get my husband here, the plan now is that I phone him, he gets our children out of bed and ready to go, loads them into the car, regardless of time, then drives the 50 minutes to her house, unloads them where they have nowhere to sleep, then drives the hour journey to me.

This is fucking ridiculous. Apparently she was saying 'but I have no clean clothes to wear'. Well boo fucking hoo. I'm waiting for my two day old baby to take a turn for the worse and die at any time, and she doesn't want to be a little uncomfortable?

I am never, ever speaking to her again. Especially if my husband can't get here and I have to do all this alone.

FTR she doesn't drive. My dad lives 5 minutes from her so this morning when I needed my husband here it took him 2.5 hours from my phone call to arrival by the time they got to him, and he got here.

I suspect a large part of it is that her partner is making a fuss being left with their three children. But he doesn't work, and I need her help more :(

OP, I hope you don't feel that you can't come back here and post because of Age's reply. It has been reported and deleted and we're all here for support if you need to talk

How are you doing these days Vicar?

The OP hasn't been back recently, which is understandable considering the circumstances, but I hope everything's OK.

I too am within the Edinburgh area and would help you out if I could and I don't even know you so how your sister can do this to you is beyond me. I really do hope both of you are ok and am so sad you are having to go through this tough time alone because your family wont pull together and support you like they should xxx

Am thinipking of you and hoping today will bring an improvement If you don't want to post here (because of comments like age ) then it's understandable but we are a,l here to support you if you need to talk.

Your sister is being awful. But try hard not to let it bother you at this time. Praying for you all xx

Oh and ageofgrandillusion... You have no place here, in the mumsnet COMMUNITY, you have No idea what it means. It is support for people when they are alone, whether physically or emotionally, when they are in need, i genuinely value this community. With callous vile comments YOU dont. How bloody dare you.

Dear OP

I'm so sorry this is happening to you. I have also had a prem baby in NICU and know how heart wrenching it is. Have you contacted Bliss? They may be able to offer your practical and emotional support. They really are brilliant and have local support groups www.bliss.org.uk.

They will know what is available to you locally.

I am in SE London and CRB checked. I am happy to do anything I can to help.

I have everything crossed for you x

Wow, I'm shocked that some people could even think about injecting poison into a post about something so heartbreaking. I would expect an adult to be able to restrain from slagging off someone who is going through the worst situation imaginable and put their own, rather ridiculous opinions aside and just see the situation for what it is. A need to talk and to know that she isn't alone in wanting her sibling to help her out at a very crucial time in her life. That's a completely normal reaction. It's so good to see so many people offering their help to a stranger, it's restored my faith inhumanity. OP, I don't think I can help as I don't live in the UK but you and your family are in my thoughts.

OP, I'm so sorry you're going through this and your family are being so useless. I'm in Buckinghamshire and more than happy to help out in whatever way I can if you're nearby. I was CRB checked though it's expired now.

I'm so sorry, OP.

I'd do this for a stranger too and I don't understand why your sister is behaving as she is.

as for 'never speaking to her again', well, maybe that will continue to be how you feel, but I agree with the 'no rash decisions' advice above.

Op thinking of you and your family.Im sending a prayer your way. encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRI14j2WFW-RqUCDt0by0mNk9xC8Jp-N5Y_dCog7FGrnBEXE5Ps

Just read this thread and am so sorry OP.

Am from Sussex, a HCP and fully CRB checked. If there's anything at all I can do for your family ( even if it's just to take the kids to the park for the afternoon) please please please don't hesitate to PM me.

OP I've been thinking of you and your family and hoping and praying that your little DS pulls through.

Please don't be put off by one attack the vast majority of the community on here only want to help

Thinking of you HDEE, hoping for good news x

OP im so sorry you couldnt rely on who should be there, you and your son are in my thoughts,

Im in Essex, i've been crb checked before, and i'd bring my DD she loves playing with kids no matter who they are.

Bump

Been thinking of you all day, hope you're holding on in there.

HDEE, hope you re ok and that ds pulls through. I know the messages are probably of very little comfort to you right now but there are loads of people thinking of you and hoping for the best. Like so many others on here, I'm happy to do anything i can to help, I'm in Kent and have been CRB checked too. x

I wanted to add my best wishes to the many already sent. I am thinking of you and your little baby and hoping things are improving. You are completely justified in being hurt, angry and nauseated by your sister's behaviour. Warmest wishes xx

Another one offering help op, I'm in the north east, I have 2 weeks off work and can do anything you need. Washing/ironing/helping with kids, bring supplies to hospital, anything you need at all.

Thinking of you and your beautiful boy and hoping he pulls through.

X

HDEE

an other offer of help, I'm in the west midlands and can offer any help or support if there is anything I can do please pm me.

Praying for you and your beautiful boy. xxxx

Another one sending all the best wishes in the world your way op. I haven't read the whole thread, so don't know what was said that was deleted, but please ignore any cruel words, some people are just sick in the head. I'm sure every person in their right mind is thinking of you, praying for you and hoping with all their hearts that your little man pulls through. You couldn't be any further from unreasonable, I just wish you were getting more support from your loved ones.

Stay strong, congratulations on the birth of your little boy.

Thinking of and praying for you and your lovely litte boy. Congratulations on your son. X

Thinking of you, your family and your precious boy xx