To get cheesed off with people telling me I should 'get a little job'?

[LukewarmBath]

My youngest child is due to start school in September. I am getting very fed up with people telling me (totally unasked for advice btw) that I need to 'get a little job'. One of the mums at school, who is a total busybody and doesn't know me very well at all, even printed off details about a lunchtime supervisor job that is going at the DC's school because she 'thought I'd like to get a little job as mini Lukewarm is going to school soon'. People constantly ask me if I'm going to get a job. Even family do it.

The fact is, I don't really need to work financially. DH has his own company and I do a lot of his admin work for him as well as lots of cold calling and dealing with invoices. But because it's from home, no one seems to think it's a proper job. I go to the gym, meet up with friends regularly and go on lots of nights out, so it's not like I need the 'adult interaction' from a job either.

I just wish people would mind their own business!

This 'pin money' they all talk about - is it for sewing pins or hair pins, just out of interest...?

Here you are:- Pins and 'Pin Money'
Pins have been used for hundreds of years. There was a Guild of Pinmakers, or Pinners. Pins were relatively expensive during the Middle Ages and husbands gave their wives money especially for their purchase, as time went by pins became cheaper and the money could be spent on other items - hence the term "pin money".

This is also why we have the rhyme "see a pin and pick it up, and all day you'll have good luck" (sometimes changed nowadays to penny).

Am at the idea that you can only have a fulfilling life if you work. Most people's full-time jobs are hardly fulfilling but just hard graft for little reward! There's loads of non-financial ways to lead a fulfilling life.

Thanks Pixel, is it like decorative pins then for wearing, like brooches?

I do spend probably more time on Pinterest than I should so I do like 'pins'

Its not just if the main earner dies, what if they find another woman? Happens all the time and a pension wont be of much use in those years unless you are already of retirement age.

I think some men need to man up, if they cant do their job without somebody being home then its a wonder how all those single men or men with working partners survive. DH and I both work and share everything else, he doesnt earn my salary nor do i earn his.

Actually, lots of people's jobs are fulfilling!!

Agree with HappyMummy, why the hell do these men need a glorified maid at home to enable them to do their jobs properly?
I work full time without needing someone at home to wash my clothes and cook my dinner! It ain't the 1950s any more.

"why the hell do these men need a glorified maid at home to enable them to do their jobs properly?"

If you want it spelled out treacle, "these men" earn a lot of money, and have to be able to give 100% commitment. You cant make six figures and then be absent whenever the children have an inset day. Hope that clears it up for you

GoodTouch - your last comment was out of order. HappyMummy was merely stating that it is a sad place when adults can't rely on themselves to work, rather than relying on a woman at home who isnt allowed or cant be bothered to work.

Hope that clears it up for you.

"relying on a woman at home who isnt allowed or cant be bothered to work"

Treacle, to come out with such rubbish, Im willing to bet you hate your job, I feel sorry for you

I'm sorry if that was rude.
But I'll be blown if I were to stay at home so my husband can have a better life or career than me.

I love my job!!!!!

So happy, what happens when your dh goes abroad on short notice for work, or has a late meeting?

It's quite easy having both partners work if only one has irregular hours/lots of travel, or if you can afford and want to employ a nanny or if you have one child.

For many people though, it is more difficult. If I was desperate to work, then dh and I would have had to make completely different life and career choices and that would come with sacrifices we wouldn't willingly make.

I resent being described as a glorified maid - dh and I are partners, who have divided up the necessary jobs of earning money and taking care of kids in a way that suits us best and that we feel suits our children.

The purpose of work, to me, is to support family life. I liked my previous career, but it didn't make me more worthwhile or interesting, as a person.

Well all I can say OP is that I wish I haf your problem!

"Yes there are jobs that require a huge amount of commitment but I'm not sure they necessitate having a wife that stays at home to clean and cook."

Well, why do so many families have nannies? Or live in au-pairs?

Because it makes it possible to have both parents in full time work.

The way I see it is that my children are better off with me at home, its not just so I clean and cook, but so they don't spend half of there life with strangers or in care surroundings.

just read treacle's comment about not being allowed or being too lazy to work! I do work, but not in an office!

Just to add that dd's life is not 'better' than mine. We are both suited to what we do. I'm not saying there are no disadvantages to sah, but woh also isn't perfect - nothing is!

i am in my late 20's and i do not have a job. I dont want one. DH works very hard and I keep a lovely house, and enjoy lots of activities.

I have never been asked why/ told that i should get a little job, mainly because i dont think anyone would dare to ask to my face!

We do not have any DCs yet. I am a bit undecided as to if i want them now.

"If you want it spelled out treacle, "these men" earn a lot of money, and have to be able to give 100% commitment"

It would make everyone's life easier if "these men" had to share the school run etc even occasionally. So much harder for working mothers to compete with someone who does not have to do the second shift at home.

I'm definitely quite jealous. Get that out of the way.

I am however a bit miffed that people whose husbands/partners earn whopping sums of money that enable them to make the decision to SAH can somehow turn that into a problem.

I mean, honestly - listen to yourselves!

Boo fucking hoo.

It is a very patronising phrase!

I would give them a steely stare and say, 'Why the fuck would I want to do that?'

Puts the onus on them to stammer out reasons such as 'pin money'. You can then say, 'I don't need to. I have plenty'...

To anyone who suggests the need to work so that you are not bored I would briskly point out that there is something seriously wrong with people who need to get 'a little job' because they can't think of anything better to do with their lives.

" I keep a lovely house."

Don't know why but that comment made me c-r-i-n-g-e!