To have confronted this poor excuse for a mother?

[TeddyPickleStick]

So I'm sat at work, window open. I hear a commotion outside so get up and look out the window. There is a heavily pregnant woman with two small children - a boy of around 3 and a girl of maybe 4.

She is screaming at the boy .. ' you fucking piece of shit, what the fuck are you doing? ' and ' Come on you little prick ' etc etc.

I shout down ' Don't do that! Don't say that! ' in complete shock. ' Who the fuck are you? Fuck off ' she shouts back.

I then deliberated on what to do. I felt really angry so ran down the stairs onto the street but she had gone into the bank. And then I ground to a halt and couldn't work out what to do.

So did nothing more. I mean, what CAN you do? Only a bit of swearing after all eh? I have no idea what I would have done if I'd managed to confront her anyway.

I detest this, really hate it. If you swear at your children like this, in the street, then you are a shit parent.

Aren't you?

[TeddyPickleStick]

Kirjava- of course I can't explain why I know for sure that this incident possibly wasn't isolated. But I don't think it takes too much of a leap to assume that it wasn't a one off.

To the poster who told me to fuck off - err why? It wasn't below the belt to ask mrsD if she swore at her own kids - and if it was, I'm sure she's more than capable of telling me so herself no?

I know this is AIBU and I enjoy a good debate - so it's interesting to read all the different opinions.

I don't really want to try and analyse why I behaved like I did - it was almost instinct I suppose: I heard this very loud commotion , I was so shocked at hearing a little boy being called a little prick amongst all the fucks, and well, I judged. Because if you do this where I can see and hear you , then ill judge you

I stand by what I said. If you scream this stuff to your very small children, regardless of your terrible stressful day, then you are a shit parent.

I won't keep posting though as I've said my bit and I ( obviously ) believe i have right on my side. I will say that if you hear this stuff or witness it, yes, I think you should always confront. Part of trying to keep children safe isn't it? I know the SS comment I made was ludicrous - I just felt so disturbed and impotent ... I can't do a thing! And really - it seems that for some folk this is normal daily life. Thank god not for my kids ( and incidentally, I am far from the perfect parent )

You defend this stuff - you defend abuse. Simple as that

[LookingForwardToMarch]

Really?

I took it as patronising.

But then we do seem to have differing opinions so I'm not that shocked.

[PramelaAftersun]

Yellow, stop thinking of yourself and put the abused child(ren) first. PLEASE.

I see the usual Left-wing liberals are urging us to not judge what is quite evidently appalling emotional abuse. No point ringing SS for several reasons, only one of which is that they are likely to be staffed by clones of MrsDeVere

[PramelaAftersun]

Is anyone else going to report the poster who told Teddy to 'fuck off'? Oh, goodie.

[piprabbit]

The incident the OP is talking about is an example of poor parenting, but all we know is that there was a pregnant woman in the street on one of the hottest days in years, trying to cope with two preschoolers and having a meltdown. We don't know if it happens regularly, we don't know if there was a particular set of circumstances leading up to the incident, we don't know if the children are a risk or if the mother shocked herself silly when she realised how she had behaved. Given that neither we, nor the OP, know who these people are it is a bit of a dead end (unless they start walking past the OPs window on a regular basis).

Yellow's situation is much more worrying as it appears to be regular and has escalated to include physical violence. I hope yellow finds the courage to report the situation and get the children some support.

[LadyClariceCannockMonty]

'You defend this stuff - you defend abuse. Simple as that'

It is not that simple, OP, and you've made quite a leap there, just like the leap you think it's OK to take to decide 'that this incident possibly wasn't isolated.'

If you'd just posted that you shouted at the woman and then ran after her, I'd have said YANBU, tbh. But your jumping to these conclusions is what changed my mind.

[TeddyPickleStick]

Ha ha - yes pip. Poor woman . So hot she was forced to scream abuse at her little boy and call him a fucking prick. Terrible for her

I don't mind being told to fuck off on here. Par for the course over the years

[LadyClariceCannockMonty]

'I see the usual Left-wing liberals are urging us to not judge what is quite evidently appalling emotional abuse. No point ringing SS for several reasons, only one of which is that they are likely to be staffed by clones of MrsDeVere'

That's a highly unpleasant comment, Pramela. But I do love it when the words 'left-wing' or 'liberal' are used as pejoratives, and here are two together. Bingo!

[TantrumsAndBalloons]

Where is the defending of her behaviour?

Just because do not agree that she is a shit parent based on 10 seconds doesn't mean thinking what she did was just wonderful does it?

[TeddyPickleStick]

I don't care clarice.

I'm pretty sure I'm right. And, if I'm wrong, I'd rather be wrong than try and defend this utterly vile woman. That sits a lot better with me

[Owllady]

I hate people swearing at their children too, it's just completely unnecessary, small children too. It makes shudder to think how they will handle it when their children start being mouthy and answering back

[TeddyPickleStick]

Yeah I think I'm right . And no , I didn't deserve to be told to fuck off on your behalf - although I'm not too stressed about that

I must stop posting now : ) kids to sort out. ALthough good to know that if my youngest irritates me to the point that I feel the need to tell him to fuck off, you'll be right there defending my parenting and excusing it

[PramelaAftersun]

Why is it 'highly unpleasant'? SS is full of bleeding-heart liberals.

[piprabbit]

I'm not asking for you to sympathise with her, just to acknowledge that you cannot possibly know more about her than you observed in those few minutes, and that everything else is pure speculation.

[TantrumsAndBalloons]

pramela so now not only are you able to diagnose emotional evidence over the Internet based on second hand information on a forum, you can also adequately judge the capability of an anonymous poster and the entire Social Services?

That's quite a skill you have there

[KirjavaTheCat]

You knew you'd 'get a lynching' if you described her in the way you wanted to, which seems to me that you know you aren't just judging her on her nasty language.

[LadyClariceCannockMonty]

'SS... are likely to be staffed by clones of MrsDeVere'
This is the part that I found highly unpleasant. You've basically said that SS staff are useless AND made a personal slur on this poster as well.

[TantrumsAndBalloons]

Emotional abuse, even.

[ResNulis]

Really, this thread makes my blood boil

No-one here has said that they think the behaviour was the right way to speak to a child, so when did we get to the point in society when everyone says "its not right, but oh its OK because she was having a shit day"
Its not OK. Its totally unacceptable, however shitty her day was.

I appreciate parents have rubbish days, and extreme stresses.......God knows I did when mine were younger BUT that doesn't suddenly make the behaviours OK. I appreciate that no-one knows what may have been going on the womans life at that moment. It doesn't matter. The behaviour is unacceptable, full stop.

Stating that the behaviour is totally unacceptable does not mean that someone is an over-critical, judgemental, unsympathetic, biased example of an interfering idiot. It means they have the guts to say that its wrong whatever kind of a rubbish day the mother was having.

Why do we have to justify every lousy act on the grounds that it can be tough to be a mum?

[Owllady]

I am rather bemused that a thread about swearing at your children now contains people swearing at people that don't like the swearing

[PramelaAftersun]

Yes, Tantrums, I can. And that is because I work for social Services

[Cherriesarelovely]

Crikey.....if anyone heard a man scream that at his partner would they think that he may actually be an excellent partner having a bad day? I doubt it. I do agree Mrs. D that you can't jump to conclusions but that is quite a tirade of abuse from a parent to a young child. I also work with children and their families and can say I've seen people lose it many times but to be that abusive ....no I've never seen that from a decent parent.