To have confronted this poor excuse for a mother?

[TeddyPickleStick]

So I'm sat at work, window open. I hear a commotion outside so get up and look out the window. There is a heavily pregnant woman with two small children - a boy of around 3 and a girl of maybe 4.

She is screaming at the boy .. ' you fucking piece of shit, what the fuck are you doing? ' and ' Come on you little prick ' etc etc.

I shout down ' Don't do that! Don't say that! ' in complete shock. ' Who the fuck are you? Fuck off ' she shouts back.

I then deliberated on what to do. I felt really angry so ran down the stairs onto the street but she had gone into the bank. And then I ground to a halt and couldn't work out what to do.

So did nothing more. I mean, what CAN you do? Only a bit of swearing after all eh? I have no idea what I would have done if I'd managed to confront her anyway.

I detest this, really hate it. If you swear at your children like this, in the street, then you are a shit parent.

Aren't you?

well looking lets hope nothing ever happens in your life that causes out of character behaviour and your whole life is judged on those 15 seconds.

Yellow, believe me, i don't blame you for not wanting to contact the neighbour directly, but an anonymous report is surely not too much to ask?!

I think I'd rather be self righteous than try and defend a woman who does this

Oh yes.

And shouldn't you be more concerned with and advising the poster who is hearing physical abuse?

Rather than bothering with us inexperienced retches?

Or would your advice be that just because she hears banging and screams that she can't possibly KNOW that it's abuse or judge the woman?>

You may not swear at your kids but don't ever think that this could not happen to you if you were caught at the wrong moment

This incident is not simply 'swearing at your kids'. Ds2 once dropped a heavy ish toy on my toe and the words 'for FUCKS sake!' came out through watering eyes. Not exactly brilliant, but I am the first to admit that people are not perfect, can snap etc.

Giving my toddler a quite lengthy tirade of personal abuse that involves swearing is something that I CAN say would not happen to me, no matter how bad the moment.

Tantrums I am 100% certain that nothing, absolutely nothing, would make me scream that at my children.

(One exception possibly being if they were older and stabbing me to death. But then I doubt I'd be judged for it)

It can be anonymous but I'm the only neighbour so it would be obvious it was me, and it is daunting to put myself in a situation when I will have a new baby in a week, hence why DH was going to speak to the woman's partner but he hasn't done it yet for some reason. And he doesn't really want me doing it.

It sounds pathetic but you can't judge unless you are in the same situation.

The same as seeing a 5 second snap shot of some bodies day.

I didn't ask you to beg. I believe that was another poster.

At the time I posted suggesting that as you had knowledge maybe you should advise the poster instead of being patronising to others.

You just happened to do that as I posted.

Actually, she can't know if it's abuse or not. My DS likes to throw and bang things, whilst screaming, when in the throes of a tantrum. That's a possible scenario. She can't know unless she sees it. That's what the anonymous reporting system is there for, so they can investigate your concerns for you.

This is all a bit ridiculous tbh. I'd love the OP to explain exactly how she knows that this woman makes a habit of swearing at her children and this incident was not a one-off. I think it'll have something to do with the way the woman was dressed/colour of her skin/accent/something superficial that makes her so sure.

I'll forgive you Mrs.D

Surprised you didn't react sooner.

Yellowsnow there is a child who needs protecting. Please, just do it.

looking I said out of character behaviour
Not swearing at your children

yellow with respect. You said you have been hearing this for a while. And you heard enough yesterday to know they were being dragged across a floor. So that's not quite a 5 second snap shot.

And judging the person the Op saw, whilst ignoring what you hear on a daily basis doesn't quite add up to me.

There's so much of this. Someone sees or hears something, from a stranger, for 10 seconds and immediatley judges their entire life from that. Gets all outraged, judgemental, self righteous.
And someone else witnesses day after day children being treated horrifically and they don't know what to do.

I honestly hope that no one ever goes through any trauma that causes them to behave in an out of character way.
Because apparently those 10 seconds are indicative of your whole life and you are looked down on for all eternity because of it.

It's shit parenting. End of.

The overwhelming probability is that the woman IS a shit parent.

And the woman probably behaves better in public than she does at home.

yellow - it's a very bad idea for your husband to try and intervene with your neighbour's treatment of their child. You have to live there and it's highly unlikely that they are going to admit the error of their ways and not do it again. Leave it to the professionals.

I'm with MrsDeVere. How do you know this was 'the norm'? How do you know she 'was just horrible'?

Another poster who finds it hard to read through the fog of self righteousness.
I will try and be clear because its hard, I know, for people to grasp

Yup, patronising.

I gave a different opinion too. I thought that was allowed?

It's not that I don't know what to do, it's just progressed from the odd screaming to verbal abuse since the schools have broken up and I've been on maternity leave.

I haven't said I won't do anything.