Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to tell this mother either follow through with the threat or please leave ?!

62 replies

BadSpeakingSkills · 23/07/2013 17:31

Eldest DC has just started a gymnastics class, space for 10 but only 5 in there at the moment.

4 children in the class (including my DC) love it and get on with the activities. One mother brings her child and it NEVER joins in, it runs around jumping on the items, equipment or just messes about trying to entice the other children to play. My DC is easily led and a few times I've seen him just about to get up and join in with this child. But a quick "No - listen to the teacher please." stops him and he gets involved again. The teacher has pulled off equipment a few times and said "You either join in or you have to stay over there, it's not safe." Child just screams and wriggles out his grip.

The mother keeps saying "You join in or we put your shoes on and go home." Child shouts back "No!" Repeat 20 times in the space of 30 mins The child continues lounging around on the mats, climbing the beam or running around trying to entice the children away. After 4 weeks this is getting on my tits and last week another mother confessed to me she's getting annoyed and looking at other classes.

OP posts:
WilsonFrickett · 23/07/2013 17:33

Why doesn't the leader tell her? It's really not your place.

KobayashiMaru · 23/07/2013 17:33

It? not generally a term for children.
It's up to the teacher to deal with other attendees and their parents.

TeamEdward · 23/07/2013 17:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsKeithRichards · 23/07/2013 17:35

Sounds like a shit teacher.

Original poster
BadSpeakingSkills · 23/07/2013 17:36

Shit posted too soon.

I know she's coming back each week as we all have to pay 10 weeks in advance when we start.

I'm dreading going as this child is a right pest, the other parents are getting annoyed as well. Do I say something or just vote with my feet and leave ? DC's class is for 3 -5 year olds. He LOVES gymnastics and the teacher is good, but just a bit miffed at this child not being controlled by her wet mother.

Or am IBU ?

OP posts:
HeySoulSister · 23/07/2013 17:37

how old are they all?

UC · 23/07/2013 17:39

Actually I think the teacher is being wet. I would have a word with the teacher. HE should issue a threat saying that if the child can't join in etc., then he will need to sit out/not return.

Presume there are no SN involved though.

hermioneweasley · 23/07/2013 17:39

Have you spoken to the teacher?

WorraLiberty · 23/07/2013 17:40

I'm hoping the 'it' thing was some sort of auto correct problem?

They're still only young.

I'm sure the child will settle down in the end and your child will learn that wherever he goes, there will always be one or two disruptive children.

Oh and cut the Mum a bit of slack too

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 23/07/2013 17:41

The next time she says, 'behave yourself or you'll put your shoes on and we'll go home, you say 'Yes, please do take him/her home!!' or 'Good idea!' And give her a meaningful stare.

If that doesn't work, I would talk to the teacher and tell her that, unless this is dealt with properly, she will find herself teaching just this child. Suggest she tells the mother and the disruptive child to wait outside in the hall, until the child is willing to join in properly, and that she sends the child and mother back outside if the child comes back in (in order to join in properly), and then plays up.

wonderingsoul · 23/07/2013 17:44

i would have a word with the teacher. sh really need sto step up.

i also dont see wether the child has special needs or not matters? shes given the child a good chance to join he doesnt want to do it so why ruin it for other children whos parents have paid aswell.

DameDeepRedBetty · 23/07/2013 17:46

Let the leader/teacher know you're considering not coming back if the class is disrupted in this way in future. Tell her/him how much you like the class except for this issue and would love to recommend it to your friends, but don't feel you can while the issue of out-of-control children is not addressed.

Presumably you signed up to this with some paperwork - is there any sign of a behaviour clause in your copy?

pooka · 23/07/2013 17:48

Expect the it was in interest of full anonymity.

Original poster
BadSpeakingSkills · 23/07/2013 17:51

The child doesn't join in at all. Said child just blanks the teacher and the assistant, whenever they try and talk to it. Mother often brings her other two children and they climb over the other equipment/get in the way for the remainder of the lesson.

Writing it all down, I'm getting more annoyed at the teacher but think the mother is being very wet. My three know if I say "Behave or we're going home." I mean it and I follow through, I don't do empty threats.

OP posts:
badguider · 23/07/2013 17:51

I feel sorry for the mother, her child is obviously not in any way ready for this activity but you say you have all paid for ten classes upfront? That's a problem of the teacher/class.

The teacher SHOULD be able to say to the mother that their child isn't ready and refund the unattended classes. Whether they can do this or not I don't know...

TeamSouthfields · 23/07/2013 17:53

It ???

Original poster
BadSpeakingSkills · 23/07/2013 17:53

I've referred to the child as it, purely as not to identify the sex.

OP posts:
Plumpcious · 23/07/2013 17:54

"it" - I assumed the OP was avoiding saying whether the child is a boy or girl.

Are class numbers an issue maybe? eg if the class can't run with fewer than 5 children then perhaps the teacher is reluctant to deal with the child's behaviour, in case the mother withdraws the child and the class can't continue with just 4 children?

ppeatfruit · 23/07/2013 17:55

Sorry wait a minute this is a gym class for 3 to 5 year olds? Are you expecting olympic style training here Grin Hmm .If you are then it's actually BAD for DCs to be 'trained' like this. it should just be fun at this age FGS. YABU

SolomanDaisy · 23/07/2013 17:55

How old is the child? It is not really reasonable to expect full compliance from a 3 year old.

Original poster
BadSpeakingSkills · 23/07/2013 17:58

No paperwork at all Dame It's only classes at a local recreation centre, I've done classes/courses there myself and never had to sign any paperwork.

Hmm
OP posts:
ppeatfruit · 23/07/2013 17:58

DD2 was 'trained' at a gymnastics class at the age of 7 and it permanently damaged her knees I got her out sharpish when I noticed she was being 'pushed' by the instructor but it was too late and I bought a book about over training of L.Os saying how negative it is.

pinkyredrose · 23/07/2013 17:59

The teacher is ineffectual if they can't teach a class of five (which could actually be ten) children without allowing one child to disrupt the class. The mother shouldn't be bringing her other children and allowing them free rein, it's not a playground ffs!

Have a word with the teacher and see what discipline/rules are in place to deal with this kind of situation (not alot it seems) and then see if you can complain to anyone higher up.

Dackyduddles · 23/07/2013 18:00

Are you absolutely sure there's no sn?

It would piss me off yes, but I'd be asking the teacher to find out backstory and deal. It is NOT your place when you're paying.

But I can say that with detachment as on my phone. In RL I'd be very disappointed and keen to resolve.

Dackyduddles · 23/07/2013 18:02

I guess you mean they play on professional equipment? Ours is like that so they get used to the stuff but its just free play over it all.