re family visitors in hospital after ELCS? (PND related)

[wonderingifiam2013]

I had an EMCS with my first, following 3 days of no sleep and an unsuccessful labour. I had baby in the morning and by lunchtime I had 8 (well-meaning!) family members surrounding my bed with balloons/presents/cameras etc all passing baby around. I don't really remember this as I was so out of it but, and although I understand their excitement, I really don't want it to be like that this time.

Both baby and I were ill and had to stay in over a week and I ended up with undiagnosed PND and am trying my best to avoid it this time.

So ... I don't really want any visitors on day 1 except DC1 - who will be brought in by my parents. I then understand that my inlaws will want to see the baby on that day too as it's only 'fair' and they will expect it.

I understand this and will request they come to the later visiting session.

I would rather both mine and DH's siblings come the following day.

Does this sound precious or am I being reasonable?

I will politely ask friends to visit when we return home.

I just felt so smothered last time, one midwife ended up asking them to leave as I shouldn't have had so many (if any) visitors so soon after the surgery, and due to my stay in hospital and countless visitors/frequent injections for baby and I, I felt I never got any rest or to actually enjoy my baby as more than a feeding/changing machine.

Or am I overeating and the ELCS experience will be a lot different?

Good point Kat101 - my ELCS got done at 5.00pm and I was 2nd on the list for the day.

Don't see any problem with staggering the arrival of visitors - it would seem sensible to me, even without the risk of PND. Good luck with it all OP, I hope it all goes well for you and you feel more rested as a result of the ELCS and supported by those around you.

Can I just say, as the mother of a DS that if, one day, I'm lucky enough to be a grandmother, I wouldn't be at all offended if my DIL wanted to see her mother first - she's the one that's given birth and done all the hard work, for Christ's sake, of course she'd want to see her own mum first. How could anyone not see this? It's not about establishing a pecking order among grandparents, it's about supporting a mother after she's been through labour. Note to grandparents: it's not your baby, and the world does not revolve round you! (And some posters on this thread obviously have "ishoos" and are, frankly, coming across as a bit unhinged).

Well said Lurcio

'Tis true a lot (not all) women would like their mother with them at the birth or shortly after, sons often have a different dynamic with their mums. though no less loving.

I had my mum with me for both my DD's as their Dad was (still is) a complete wuss with any type of intervention needing needle/drip action, and I didn't want the midwife tripping over another body at the crucial time!
MIL on the other hand didn't bother to come & see her first GD till she was a month old! Worked for us!

Hope you're OK wondering