Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to say no to this request from a friend?

1001 replies

TidyDancer · 21/07/2013 10:16

An old friend is getting married in my home town next month. She has been talking about it non-stop since she got engaged last year and everyone's very happy for her. She sent out save the date cards and all was good.

Invitation time came around, and nothing arrived. I wouldn't normally have asked but since she had sent the save the date, I assumed DP and I were invited.

Turns out nope, we're not, and neither is another of our close friends (also from our hometown). She didn't offer up any explanation for it, other than to confirm that we weren't invited. Fine, her prerogative to invite whoever she likes to her wedding. I was a bit put out, I'll admit, since we'd had the save the date card, but oh well. Our other excluded friend was very upset and had a chat with the bride. During this conversation, friend was informed that the bride sent out the save the date cards knowing she wouldn't invite everyone and seemed to be under the impression that the cards were for the purpose of telling people about the wedding before the guest list had been finished. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think that's the case? About 20ish people are also not invited.

Fast forward to now, four weeks to the wedding, and the bride has emailed me. No mention at all of not being invited etc. However, she is now requesting my help with decorating the venue. Apparently most people are coming from out of town so she doesn't have much local help and doesn't think she will be able to find the time to do it herself. She also mentioned wanting to keep the decorations a surprise for the wedding guests so doesn't really want to ask for help from the few locals that are invited.

I'll accept not being invited, like I say it's up to her. We have been friends for a long time and it does hurt that I'm not invited but I'm not going to make a scene over it.

But AIBU to refuse her request for help? Does it look petty? My perspective maybe a bit skewed but I think she's being cheeky.

OP posts:
Allice · 21/07/2013 12:03

Some people have so much front!
Did the friend who was really upset also get asked to help decorate?

great reply, can't wait tho hear what comes back!

TidyDancer · 21/07/2013 12:03

If she replies all angry with me, I shall just send back Mardy's poem. Grin

OP posts:
SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 21/07/2013 12:05

We could all write poems, and you could send the lot, TidyDancer - or have them printed and bound as a wedding gift - or would that be too evil?

ShellyBoobs · 21/07/2013 12:09

Offer to take on lots of extra duties, buy the decorations, deliver them etc.

And then take your family out for a lovely day trip somewhere instead

That would definitely have been my choice of action.

Especially if you could get together with some other save-the-date-receiving, non-invited friends to agree a huge amount of preparation work you'd undertake. And then just not bother, and go and have fun together instead!

Grin

(Looking forward to seeing 'zilla's response to the email anyway)

CylonNumber6 · 21/07/2013 12:12

Wow, just when you thought you'd heard it all...

Backpaw · 21/07/2013 12:12

You could do a lovely Wordle and have it lovingly framed - made up of words like

Bridezilla
Cheeky
Mare
Entitled
Rude
Ignorant
Rhinohide

Etc. It would look lovely until a closer look. Hahahahah.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 21/07/2013 12:16
AncientPigeon · 21/07/2013 12:17

I thought I knew some cheeky bridezillas but this is priceless! Looking forward to the response.

Eyesunderarock · 21/07/2013 12:17

You could say yes and quote her £500 for your help for the day.
Only friends get screwed for free.

cornyblend37 · 21/07/2013 12:19

what a cheeky fecker
send backpaw's as a telegram to be read out on the day

clam · 21/07/2013 12:19

Tidy you're not mates with tantrumsandballoons are you? Just wondering if this is the same bride who wrote her an excruciatingly rude and uncalled-for email as to why she hadn't invited two of her children and dh. I just can't believe that there would be two such bridezillas on the scene at the same time otherwise.

starsandunicorns · 21/07/2013 12:21

Just read this thread to my dp and he replied to cheeky bitch he loved the poem and your email Tidy.

Trills · 21/07/2013 12:29

This would look beautiful on her wall

GettingVerySleepy · 21/07/2013 12:30

I think she'll come to her senses and be hugely apologetic if she's as normal as you say, but really you can never tell with people what may be lurking beneath the surface!

EhricLovesTeamQhuay · 21/07/2013 12:30

Loved Mardy's poem! Outrageously cheeky behaviour on her part.

SauvignonBlanche · 21/07/2013 12:43

You can't send someone a 'Save the Date' and then not invite them, that's terrible! Shock

ExasperatedSigh · 21/07/2013 12:46

There once was a 'Save the date'
Whose fraudulence sealed your fate.
You must have been stoned
When you brazenly phoned
To ask if I'd help decorate.

kaosak · 21/07/2013 12:48

Mardy's poem brilliant!

OP excellent email - await response with bated breath!

ExasperatedSigh · 21/07/2013 12:50

You sent me a save the date
But failed to invite your old mate.
Now your hall will look shit
And you look a tit.
Of course I won't help decorate!

SauvignonBlanche · 21/07/2013 12:53

LOL @ Exasperated Grin

TalkativeJim · 21/07/2013 12:57

Here comes your big day
And I'm sorry to say
It's going to look rather munting

But don't look at me
I'd be tempted, you see
To rub shit all over your bunting.

Onesleeptillwembley · 21/07/2013 12:57

Just tell her 'yes, I'll save the date' then on the day explain gently that save the date obviously downy mean anything. Think it'll possibly sink in then.

RaisingChaotic · 21/07/2013 12:58

Grin Exasperated

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 21/07/2013 12:59

Wow that is super cheeky!

However I'm a sucker for helping people and love decorating things so I would do it Grin

Jamdoughnutfiend · 21/07/2013 13:01

Love the limerick exasperated, made really laugh

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is not accepting new messages.
Swipe left for the next trending thread