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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think parents should teach their children how to behave round dogs

999 replies

Xihha · 19/07/2013 21:27

There have been a few posts lately about people needing to control their dogs more (and I agree, if you cant control our dog and clean up after it then you shouldn't have a dog imo), but is it unreasonable to expect parents to teach children to be a bit more careful round dogs?

Whilst walking my dog (on his lead) a child who looked about 10 ran up and stuck his head in my dogs face to make a fuss of him whilst i was picking up doggys poo, without checking if it was ok, there have been other times kids have just walked up and started pulling doggy around, this sort of thing happens a lot, especially in the summer when there are more kids out playing and the parents rarely say anything about it.

It's not really an issue with my great soppy lump of a dog because he loves kids and will put up with anything for a bit of fuss but shouldn't these kids know that you should check with the owners before approaching strange dogs and that even a nice dog can get pissed of if you start pulling it around?

OP posts:
wharrgarbl · 19/07/2013 23:20

The irony is I don't own a dog, have no intention of ever owning one, like some well enough when they're other people's, and live in the dog shit capital of the world.

ShellyBoobs · 19/07/2013 23:22

...as a result of u or ur child..

What on earth is a 'u or ur child'?

If it means 'unreasonable child' then I still don't get why it's acceptable for an unreasonable child to be maimed by an animal.

babyhmummy01 · 19/07/2013 23:23

sleep404 its not a dog owners job to parent your child though is it. If your child is in a public place where dogs are also perfectly permitted then its your responsibility to keep charge of your child not mine as a dog owner. My only responsibility is to keep my dog under control and clear up if it poops

MintyChops · 19/07/2013 23:24

Well Lazy don't bother teaching your child how to interact with dogs then and after he or she has been bitten you can say "never mind darling, we got the nasty dog put down and the owner fined". I'm sure it will be a great comfort.

FreyaSnow · 19/07/2013 23:24

Shelly, I think it just means you or your child.

Original poster
Xihha · 19/07/2013 23:24

shellyboobs my dog is kept under control at all times, and as i said in the original post all dogs should be kept under control! but it is a lot easier to keep your dog under control without some kid who is old enough to know better coming up and pissing it off.

Numberlock If my 9 yr old was bitten by a dog having run up and hit it or stuck his hand in its face without knowing if it was friendly damn right I would tell him it was his fault, once i'd made sure he was ok, and I would blame myself as it would clearly mean i'd failed to teach him better!

OP posts:
Numberlock · 19/07/2013 23:26

live in the dog shit capital of the world

As I said, shit machines.

Justforlaughs · 19/07/2013 23:27

wharrgarrbi Do you train your children not to walk into traffic? Simialr thing. yes, I train my child not to run in front of traffic, as I do teach her not to approach unknown (or any) dogs, but if she ran in front of a car you would find that it would be the driver who was blamed regardless, because children are unpredictable, and it is up to adults to anticipate that.

babyhmummy01 · 19/07/2013 23:29

justforlaughs blamed yes but not at fault. Your child, your responsibility

Lazyjaney · 19/07/2013 23:31

Only if its an unprovoked attack

When the child is bleeding and needs stitches, I think you will find that there is a credibility gap when you tell the cops the child attacked your dog. Even in the UK.

FreyaSnow · 19/07/2013 23:31

Obviously you can't always anticipate a child running in to the road. Drivers are not always blamed. My sister was hit by a car and I had to fill in a statement where I had to say who was responsible and I put my sister.

Alisvolatpropiis · 19/07/2013 23:31

Yanbu.

LookMaw · 19/07/2013 23:32

YANBU. I have a big Alsatian and was in shock the other day when 2 little girls just came running up to her and started smacking her nose, whilst their mum was busy chatting.

Luckily my dog is a massive softy so just sat down and took the abusive ear & lip pulling so little Millie could see how big her teeth were.

Really felt like shouting at the mother to train her kids better if she couldn't be arsed to keep an eye on them.

wharrgarbl · 19/07/2013 23:33

There's what would be called a duty of care on both sides. Children do need to know that running screaming at/hitting/hurting dogs (and any other animal for that matter) is not ok; dog owners need to do the hard work in the first year or two of properly training their animal, then having it under control at all times, in whatever form that takes.
And no, the assumption that everyone loves your dogs is not true, and really bloody annoying. People have the right not to be harassed by your dog, even if it's only being 'friendly'.

babyhmummy01 · 19/07/2013 23:35

lazyjaney unless there is a history of unprovoked attacks they will not force the dog to be destroyed, sorry to burst your dog hating bubble. My friend was badly bitten as a child, it was her fault for tormenting the dog. Police refused to do anything ad the dog had no history and witnesses agreed the child was at fault.

ShellyBoobs · 19/07/2013 23:36

Shelly, I think it just means you or your child.

Jesus Christ, you're right; it's text speak - 'ur' is meant to be 'your'!

I'm afraid I'm out of here if we're now debating with text speakers.

umpti67 · 19/07/2013 23:36

I teach mine to be wary of dogs. There are just too many unpredictable ones out there these days. A few days ago I was just walking up a public footpath and a big Alsation just went for my hand, growling and snapping. The owner, a teenager, managed to haul it off - but it was terrifying. TBH i've had more experiences of dogs coming up and licking her face in a pushchair with the owner several metres away saying "oh she's just playing". Yes she maybe, but i don't know that and it's frightening. Mine wouldn't approach a dog unless specifically invited to. Even then she'd be wary. Probably stems for the Rottweiller puppy who pushed her to the ground several times whilst the owner failed to get the dog off. We were just walking across the common that time - didn't approach the dog, it approached us and the owner refused to put it on a lead.

DelayedActionMouseMaker · 19/07/2013 23:37

'I'd blame the parents for not teaching their child to stay away from a dog they don't know.'

The only time my kids would ever be close to a dog they dont know is when it comes running up and bounding around looking for their attention. I am a dog owner, and whilst I believe that it is sensible to teach children how to be around dogs (in fact I believe all children should be taught respect for and caution around all animals) the duty of care in most 'dog meets world' situations lies with the dog owner.
A dog is a creature capable of exacting extreme harm or even death to children or adults for that matter, simply by acting within its nature in interactive situations and because of its inability to apply human logic or reasoning to any such meeting. When we are around children, other dogs, or even adults I consider it my responsibility to apply both logic and reasoning to the situation FOR my dog, so that no unfortunate mishap ever arises.

babyhmummy01 · 19/07/2013 23:39

Grow up shellyboobs

umpti67 but that is exactly the point the dogs you are talking about weren't under control. The OP is talking about dogs that are under control but are approached by children without invitation

FreyaSnow · 19/07/2013 23:43

It's probably worth bearing in mind that there is a very strong link between children who harm animals and domestic violence or child abuse, so it may not be that sensible to approach the parent about a child who torments a dog and/or ignores it's distress when it is showing it doesn't want to be touched. Part of not knowing how to behave around dogs is a basic lack of empathy.

I would also be wary about approaching the owner of an aggressive or out of control dog, as that is often the consequence of a violent owner.

Original poster
Xihha · 19/07/2013 23:46

Im not saying teaching your kids how to behave round dogs is a substitute for dog owners controlling their dog, Im saying if all dogs were under control and all children knew not to provoke dogs there would be a hell of a lot less problems!

Irresponsible dog owners piss me off too!

OP posts:
Justforlaughs · 19/07/2013 23:48

It's the cyclist and driver arguments all over again Grin, if everyone had respect and consideration for everyone else, what a wonderful world it would be! [dreamy emoticon]

Lazyjaney · 19/07/2013 23:49

lazyjaney unless there is a history of unprovoked attacks they will not force the dog to be destroyed, sorry to burst your dog hating bubble. My friend was badly bitten as a child, it was her fault for tormenting the dog. Police refused to do anything ad the dog had no history and witnesses agreed the child was at fault

The law has moved on a lot since then, thank heavens, in response to the huge rise in dog bites and child deaths. If you bother to check the law now you will find that the very least you face if your dog bites a child in public is a hefty fine.

Donnadoon · 19/07/2013 23:50

numberlock Serious question..Do you not shit..no?

tabulahrasa · 19/07/2013 23:51

The thing is though that - if a child runs up and sticks its head in a dog's face, it's very easy for a dog to bite without even really meaning to.

Dog is walking with its mouth open, child sticks its face in the dog's face, dog closes mouth in surprise and while you're not talking plastic surgery or even a cut, it'd still hurt and as a dog owner not something you really want to have to deal with.

My dog is still young and a bit of a work in progress, he's a lovely tempered dog, but has a tendency to be overly friendly and will jump up, if a child wants to stroke him I'm fine with that, but I need a second to make him sit or he will leap up at them. He weighs 6 stone, there is a very real chance that he'll hurt a child just trying to say hello if they run over without any warning. (of course I'm watching and at least usually have time to grab him, but if they ask I can make him sit and greet them politely)