AIBU about unsupervised play?

[CottonWoolCandy]

I'm a regular but have namechanged for this as I genuinely can't decide if I'm being U or not . . .Dd is 4 and her cousins are 8 and 9. When they are playing in our garden, I always supervise them. However when they are at home, dsil lets them play outside on their own. Dsil's garden has a tree house, climbing frame and a fish pond. It's also easy to access the other gardens on the street from their garden and to reach the road (the gates don't lock and are easy to open).
I won?t allow dd to play outside in their garden without an adult supervising. AIBU? Dsil and dh both think I?m being over protective.

YABU. They are 8 and 9.

I don't supervise in my garden, or my mums much bigger garden, as I know they are secure and don't have ponds. Trees and climbing frames don't worry me either.

But, yes, I'd be in total freak out mode if there was a pond in the garden.

There is a huge difference between 4 and 8 yr olds. I supervised mine at 4 but I let my now 7 and 9 yr old play outside on their own.

Also With the 2 of them together the other one will come running to get me if there is a problem although I can hear them both a mile away anyway

Yanbu if the water is not covered/inaccesible

YANBU because you say your DD is only 4. Fine at 8 and 9 but not at 4.

I'd be with them, tbh. Haven't you taught your 4 year old not to leave the garden/jump in ponds/leap out of tree houses...?

I wouldn't allow a 4yo to pay unsupervised in a garden that has a pond, it would depend on the child whether the easy to open gate would worry me at 4.

A well trained 8 or 9 year old should be no problem.

I would let a 4 year old play unsupervised in a garden. I'd be slightly concerned about the pond, but you really don't let her play even in your own garden?

Don't see the problem with the treehouse and climbing frame especially with older cousins.

I don't have a problem with the 8 and 9 yr old playing in their garden because they're older and it's their garden so they're familiar with their toys, play set, pond, etc. I just think that dd (at 4) is too little.
Kobayashi dd does know not to leave the garden/jump in ponds/ leap out of tree houses but she's also a bit over excitable (eg has been known to run into climbing frame spars if in the middle of game!).
A distant relative's child drowned at pre-school age and I think that has made me overcautious about the pond.

MMMM

How 4yo aware are the 8 & 9 year olds? Would they know to go to your dsis if there was something wrong etc??

Yanbu for 4 year old
Yabu for the 8&9 year old.

4 imo is too young to be around a pond and high climbing things, I am very over protective though

It depends what you mean by 'unsupervised' - I let my 3yo and 5yo play out in the back garden while I am pottering about in the house. I keep an eye on them but I'm not sat out in the garden watching them iyswim.

However we don't have a pond, and the house and garden aren't exactly massive...

I don't supervise my 3yo DS2 in our own garden. We don't have a pool though.

8/9 yr olds have been alive for double the time of the 4yr old- therefore they are treated differently. We roamed all over the village by that age and turned up for meals, that was what everyone did.

maja00 I do let her play in our garden but I can always see her eg the door is open and I'm sitting in the kitchen or I'm working on laptop at the window.

Still18atheart the 8 and 9 year old aren't that 4-yr-old aware. When I was their age, I was used to looking after my little sisters so was very aware of them but the 8 and 9 year old forget that dd is only 4 and obviously dd doesn't like to remind them that she's half their age!
exoticfruits yy. I think there's a massive difference between what you can do at 8/9 and what you can do at 4.

I let my 4yo DD play unsupervised in my garden, even with the (very small) paddling pool filled, but I wouldn't be happy with an uncovered, possibly deep fish pond.
8 and 9 yr old, no problem on their own, but it would depend on how sensible THEY are as to whether I would let THEM supervise my DD. Nor would I let anyone else's opinion change my gut feeling, if YOU are not comfortable than don't do it, it's not about being over-protective, it's about you doing your own risk assessment and going with it.

Yanbu re your 4 yo but yabu to expect an 8 & 9 yo to be supervised. My 7 & 9 yo dsc's regularly go to the local park on their own

YANBU I don't leave my 4 YO alone but he is boistrous. It is hard going to friends houses that have a more laid back outlook and I feel like an overprotective loon trying to watch DS.

oh let they play unsupervised

babyhmummy01 I don't expect the 8 and 9 yr old to be supervised.

jellybeans I feel like an overprotective loon - yy - this is exactly how I feel too

YANBU. It's the pond that does it - everything else would be fine.

Then as I said Yanbu to expect ur 4yo to be supervised and imo an 8 & 9yo should not be left with that responsibility