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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think it would have been polite to let us know?

115 replies

HugAMoo · 13/07/2013 19:51

Am prepared to be told I'm being a miserable cow but here goes..

Neighbours who rent the house two doors down, generally quiet but know them to say hello to, are having a huge party. When I say huge, I mean the works..music, loads of guests, squealing, water fights, obviously lots of drink involved, giddiness etc. Think it's a big birthday too, they've gone to town on the decor.

It's generally a naice area and quiet. Baby sleeps at the back of the house and is still awake with the noise.

AIBU to think they could have let us know or hired the nearest hall for party this size?

OP posts:

Chivetalking · 15/07/2013 19:13

Another at those who think this is OK.

We are subjected to serial unannounced one offs and no doubt every last one of them thinks it's OK because it's a one off

I'm old enough to remember when anyone having a party made sure it either finished or that they and their guests fucked off inside after midnight. I have no idea when or how it became the norm for the entire neighbourhood to be forced to join in the festivities until the wee small hours but it's about time it wasn't.

NUFC69 · 15/07/2013 20:34

Someone, somewhere a few hundred yards away from me had a very noisy party the other Saturday night - I couldn't hear the radio in my bedroom because of the noise. And I really do mean it when I say that it was several hundred yards away. I rang the non-emergency police number and spoke to a very helpful man who agreed that we shouldn't have to put up with it and that they would deal with it - and they did!

So, Op, YANBU.

Bowlersarm · 15/07/2013 20:44

I'm not a party animal myself. Like to be tucked up by midnight but I'm in the YABU camp.

The odd party is understandable. People have to be allowed to have parties/celebrations in their own homes surely?

Glittertwins · 15/07/2013 20:48

Try a teenage party starting at 12:30 am and still raging at 3...I was ready to knock some heads together. If we have people over, we tend to keep the noise down outside or go back in doors no later than midnight.

Boomba · 15/07/2013 20:49

If people where more considerate of each other, the world would be a nicer place

if people had more parties, the world would be a much nicer place

Dackyduddles · 15/07/2013 20:53

Did you go over and confront the man at 330 in the morning? Because some idiot woman did that by us and it was her fecking screeching that woke us and our dcs up NOT the 'party'.

VixZenFenchell · 15/07/2013 20:58

Did anyone read the OP? She's not asking if it was unreasonable for the neighbours to have had the party, she was asking if it was unreasonable of them not to have let her know in advance.

YANBU to want advance warning of a loud party that close. You might not mind, or you might want to make arrangements to visit friends / family so you can get some sleep.

I don't think the op is a miserable cow, just understandably grumpy on minimal sleep.

We occasionally have parties. They involve the garden, loud music, much talking / laughing / singing (we are in tune though). I always put notes in the neighbours' mailboxes warning them - and if they are close ish, inviting them :)

Boomba · 15/07/2013 21:04

yes to be fair vix i warn our neighbours even if we are having a childrens party in the daytime!

YoniWheretheSunDontShine · 15/07/2013 21:04

My goondess, one off - one party get over it, some of us have people living next to us who behave like this all the time!!!!

One party wouldn't worry me at all, infact its nice to hear the hum of people enjoying themselves as a one off....

we are currently boxed here in, sweltering and hot because our delightful neighbours are all smoking in front of the house and at the back, refused to move an inch when I pleaded with them, said - they were too hot themselves, and didnt care when I said baby is on an inhaler struggling to breathe.

count yourself lucky.

chicaguapa · 15/07/2013 22:27

If they'd actually warned their neighbours and even said they'd be going until 4am, OP could have made other plans and wouldn't have been getting worked up over it. Sometimes you just want to know what time it's going to end than trying to guess and hoping it'll be soon.

thismousebites · 15/07/2013 22:32

5 students have moved in to the house next door.
They've only been here a week but have already had 2 outdoor parties with the biggest speakers I have ever seen.
And they are massively into R&B

Original poster

HugAMoo · 15/07/2013 22:48

Have read through all of your replies, it's probably 50/50 and I'm afraid I'm not convinced that I was being U. Maybe when I started the thread just after 8 I did sound U but the party had already been going on for a long time and I was beginning to suspect it could be an all-nighter.

However, it did go on till 4. Yes, I've slept now, it's not the most important thing in the world but I do still consider these people to be massively inconsiderate. I also unfortunately think it's a sign of the times listening to some of your stories, a lot worse than mine. i find it hard to believe that so many of you would happily listen to a raucous party, chuckling to yourself and not be at all concerned that you couldn't sleep.

Anyway, nice to know that not all think I'm a miserable, fun-vampire cow, who thinks the world has stopped because I have a baby and who needs to get over herself

Excuse made an excellent point:

Imagine living on a road where every neighbour took it turns to have a party which finished after 4. None of you would mind, despite each one being a 'one off'? Of course you'd mind.

OP posts:

RubyGoat · 16/07/2013 07:36

Thismousebites if the students are that bad & it's really that often, definitely report them to the council. They will probably ask you to keep a log of the noise for a few weeks as proof.

Or, wake them up with loud music/lawnmower/knock on their door with the post at 7 every morning after a party.

arkestra · 16/07/2013 11:20

I would consider their card well and truly marked. I'm a Londoner, used to loving cheek by jowl with many others. I am now in quite a naice area. Their behaviour with being loud till 4am would be right on my boundary - just possibly acceptable if it's a one-off (big birthday etc). Any more like that and I'd Release The Hounds. Eg contact them,other neighbours, landlord, etc - escalate as necessary.

We had Young People across the road who had 2 parties in 6 months with a live band in their front room, with the windows open. I let them get away with one but tackled them on the second. There was not a third. I went round early morning after the second with a toddler in my arms (makes point about kids without having to yell) and mentioned that aspects of the evening just gone by such as having a stream of people weeing in their neighbours front garden at 3am was not quite the thing, I know what it's like when someone has passed put in the loo but still. And so on. Luckily I didn't need to go to the landlord but that would have been the next step.

arkestra · 16/07/2013 11:26

One thing - assuming you do give them one chance, write down details of noise, time, etc now. If this is part of a pattern of behaviour then you will want to have a full history when you do escalate, whether with them or others. Psychologically it means you will at least have done something in response to your rubbish night, which may help!

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