to feel angry and upset at ebay sale gone wrong

[lakia]

Its partly my own fault I sent an expensive item took my chances.
Buyer claimed he hadnt recieved it obivously I am stuffed no tracking details to show I was really stupid.
The buyer turned out to be a business recieving a few items like mine.
I suspect although cant prove that he may have had it mixed up amongst other items and overlooked it.
Paypal have refunded him case closed and now they will debit my account for the full amount.
Buyer has now left negative feedback saying that I am a scammer cheat etc.
Its really unfair and I am so upset to the point that I dont want to do ebay any longer and just close the account.

I'd love to say YABU, but you're not unfortunately.

I did it for years and loved it, but it's too weighted against the small time seller now.

It's not just the exorbitant fees, it's the unfairness of feedback system now. I never understood why they changed it.

I had three or four accounts to fall back on if anyone did give me negative, which was thankfully rare in those days before they stopped sellers being able to give them back.

You have to be able to distance yourself from it a bit, but if it's making you angry/upset when you're not on it, maybe give yourself a set time and make a decision over whether to kick it when a bit of time has passed?

It's not worth getting stressed over, for sure.

(and when I'm a buyer, I look at the person who's given the negatives own feedback. (Can't you write what you want on their feedback in capitals so it stands out?) I don't just presume the seller's shit because I know buyers can be awful)

thanks zigzag

I was wondering about why sellers cannot leave feeedback to put forward their case this seems so unfair it never used to be like this.
Paypal are expecting to take this money out my account on the 18th this month and I dont have it as I used the money off this sale to pay a debt.
I really dont know what I am meant to do.

That is awful for you. Didn't you have a receipt for when you sent it?

Why don't you email ebay see what they say? It does seem very unfair skewered for he benefit of buyers not sellers.

Did you have a returns policy or if item is lost contact within x time

You can reply as a seller to feedback. I often read feedback, and replies from sellers. You can often tell who is telling the truth. It wouldn't deter me from buying as long as the negative comments were not too many in number

Why have they taken his word over yours? Ebay's probably making it look more cut and dried than it actually is.

Are you sure you're at the end of the appeal process?

Try googling it and see what other sellers have come up with, there might be tricks of the trade Ebay doesn't advertise much.

If the funds aren't in your paypal they'll just invoice you for it and it'll stay on your account until it's paid.

I would be tempted to deal with what cash they wanted at another time, ditch that account and start another. Even though I'm totally trustworthy, it can become a bit of a game where you have to twist what you're saying sometimes. Not to the point of being dishonest, but so you're not taken for a fuckwit (by ebay or the buyer).

If you have a proof of postage, just get onto royal mail to get it back.

If you bought an item and it never arrived, and the seller had no proof that it was posted, I bet you'd be demanding a refund as well.

I have proof of posting but nothing to say it was actually delivered

How awful for you. I suppose you don't have any proof of postage? I bought a couple of used braille machines and had them sent to my mum's house in London, intending to bring them to Argentina where I live as people can't afford new ones here. Anyway, my mum thought both arrived but only one had (the other box turned out to be full of paper, she hadn't bothered to open it). By the time I found out the 45 days had expired and there was nothing I could do, ebay wouldn't deal with it. The seller never answered my many email requests for tracking, they had clearly just scammed me, I wasted 60 quid. Ebay is very flawed when it comes to this kind of thing, they will not look into such cases.

Proof of postage is good, although most options only go up to £20 compensation.

But they could have a look for it, the buyer might be telling the truth, or it could turn up weeks later.

Anything's possible with royal mail (although they've been pretty good more often than not in my experience), How big is the item? Could the postie have shoved it round the back of their house? They don't like to wait these days.

For someone who's saying you should distance yourself, I'm getting too worked up on your behalf

You see I have been on the other side of this - I really sympathise, but I bought some baby clothes from a lady and they just didn't turn up. I ended up leaving negative feedback and she was very unhappy but really, it was six weeks later and my DD had practically grown out of them!

I can understand how it must seem to a buyer when their item doesnt turn up.
But honestly this person has called me a fraud and a scammer there is simply no need for that its way out of order.

You see my item is worth way more than a paltry £20 I may as well let it go if thats all I will get.
If they were able to come back and say yes this was delivered that would be worth it

zigzag the item is about as big as a large thick book.
The buyer had said that he has recieved a few of these items and they had invoices with them.
I hadnt included an invoice with mine.

I feel really stupid I wshall send anything of value tracked in future.
I have always had trustworthy buyers until now.
Of course the buyer could be telling the truth but their feedback has really got my back up

Trying to think what it is now. Gold bar? Case with diamond necklace in?

Write it off as lost, then do your best to get it refunded. See any time you put in to recouping the cost as part of your work.

But don't take it personally. You know you're not a scammer, and the buyer doesn't know you, you're just an internet random to them, I'm sure they're totally normal in RL and could still come back to you saying it's arrived (which I've had happen and done myself).

Welcome to how it has been in America for a long time (heavily weighted against the seller). E-bay turned against the sellers here 1st, then to you, and in Asia the sellers still have a lot of power. I used to sell bits of stuff here and there and turn a small profit as a SAHM, but the rules changed years ago, and fees went up, and even though I had 100% positive feedback, I saw the writing on the wall, that with the increased fees, and need to send everything with proof of delivery, I wouldn't be making enough to make it worth my time, and got out. YADNBU to feel this way. I'm sorry this happened to you, and even though I don't buy off of there out of principle anymore, I also was one that checked out people who left negative feedback before deciding not to buy from a seller when I did buy from there.

I don't buy off it either freerange, much prefer Amazon now, even though they're browsing options are totally pants.

The buyer doesn't know that you are a fine upstanding person. They ordered something, it hasn't arrived. There is no receipted dlivery, and the seller is arguing against refunding them. Of course they assume it was a scam.

YABU to have sent an item worth 'way more than £20' without using recorded or special delivery.

I would be suspicious too.

who do you think should be out of pocket if not you?

You have to presume that everyone is dishonest and send everything 'signed for' and factor that into the delivery costs.

The poor posties get the blame for other peoples' dishonesty.

I know someone who used to buy from a catalogue and if the goods were delivered when she was out and no signature, she always said that she hadn't received them and ended up with two lots of goods.
She is a bitch!

Don't worry about one negative feedback. It won't affect your sales. When I buy on eBay, I only look at the sellers detailed feedback if its under ten or so.

YANBU, always send recorded signed for in future.

You could try posting in the eBay section of MN. Lots of very experienced ebayers some

YANBU to be upset but likewise they aren't BU to think it's a scam, you always must take steps to protect yourself by using tracking, receipted delivery etc. It's just a shame you've been stung by such an expensive item.

As a buyer and seller, I've had people try to claim things aren't at described (which is why i take a vid clip the day i send it showing the item from all angles- I've never been asked to produce it the sellers who've tried to be shit have backed off the moment I've responded to say i have it) and I've had things not arrive and people have claimed they've sent, yet not been able to produce anything to say they have. I'd like to give those sellers the benefit of the doubt, I wouldn't berate them over email unless they got arsey with me first or were being unprofessional, but I'd make a note not to buy from again if they were getting funny. I have had one genuinely not turn up and the seller claimed via RM, the item hadn't been delivered or signed for, RM hadn't delivered. The seller was worried I'd leave negative feedback, but I had no reason too, it wasn't her fault it was RM screw up and we had proof, so I left her positive saying shed been professional given what had happened. Had she told me she had sent but had no tracking and then insinuated that perhaps I hadn't realised I'd received, I wouldn't have been impressed and would have thought unprofessional poss scammer.

The negative feedback won't affect much at all and you can 'add an answer to it to explain which people will also see. You know a scammer when loads of their fb is negative, I had one which 100% when i brought but 2 months later it was at 53% due to negative fb-turned out the seller had only sold a bit to get the 100% and then tried scamming.

If you just have one esp with a note from yourself underneath then it won't put people off. Def raise with RM though, it's a shame it's an expensive item.