DH takes 20 mins every day to poo !

[pooquickly]

This 20 min poo thing happens every single day. DH disappears every morning into the loo with his reading material and says that's how long it takes. He says most of it is done within 2 mins but i was told to get everything out, it takes 20 mins ! It takes me 1 min. If i need to do more later, then i go and sit on the loo again! That's what i did this morning, and on my second sitting and i got a "what again?" from him (cos he wanted me to bring DD's book bag downstairs, rather than him walking his poor tired legs up the stairs).

I guess it annoys me, cos i spend all morning running around after the kids, trying to get them fed and ready, whilst he eats his brekkie, goes for 20 min dump and has time for shower. I have my shower night before (cos no time in morning unless i get up earlier), i eat breakfast somewhere between 9am - 10.30am and lucky if i get 2 mins in the loo!

I know he won't change his poo habit, but it annoys me.

AIBU ?

he isnt pooing for 20 minutes, he is escaping to read!

don't you know tge toilet is the most comfortable place to read/ hide from life/ unwind!

but tell him he needs to preparethe stuff for the morning the night before while you in turn unwind and its easier for you!

I hate when they dont do their share, I just dont put up with it

Sorry pooquickly (love the name) but your post made my proper laugh out loud!

My DP is similar. Every night when he gets in from work at 6, he's straight upstairs for a 20 minute poo. Incidentally stripping off every fucking item of clothing along the way as he goes but that could be a whole other thread. Meanwhile, I'm downstairs either cooking tea if I'm home at about the same time or dishing up if I've managed to get away from work earlier.

Like you, I don't get it. I just don't actually take that long to poo- 2 minutes tops. I can poo, wipe and wash quicker than he wees sometimes! He says he needs to get it all out but I'm happy to offload the imminent enemy at the gates and return later if necessary.

My DP can also poo about 4 times a day on the weekend which freaks me the fuck out.

Very normal! Dh does it too . And my dad always disappeared for ages after supper when I lived at home. Man thing.

Sorry didn't actually address the issue.

YANBU but I think you need to tell him that he's going to insist on takein 20 mins 'out' every morning (i.e. being on his own and not involved in the household routine), then he needs to build that into the routine like making lunch the night before or something.

I thought that was about normal?

Sometimes I can get mine out in a couple of mins, other times it takes up to 20 mins. Of course I'm sat reading at those times

NotYoMomma i think this is what's all about really. Not doing his share. He's taken the whole week off this week to do a planned activity with friends (which im ok with) but means he doesn't leave house until 10am, and getting back home later than he would after work, but doing less household tasks!

I actually think they enjoy sitting around enjoying the aroma of their own poo.

Snap!!! My DP does this too - except twice a day, one in the morning and one at night!!! He also goes in with reading material - there's even a box in there with various car/tech stuff/music/gadget magazines, just in case!

Luckily my kids are adults now so not such a problem, but I usually spend the 20 mins he's in the bathroom, loading the washing machine, feeding the cats, filling or emptying dishwasher, making beds etc. Somehow he manages to miss all that. I'm a mug.

Oh God my DP is the same. I think he just sits there and waits for it to fall out by itself.

Is it a man thing? Like they don't have the 'pushing' muscles that we have so it naturally takes longer?

CrisisCritical glad it made you LOL. I thought it might get me out of my megagrump if i post on here, cos i'm sure there are alot of men who do this. Exactly same with my DH "i need to get it all out." Incase when he's hunting for food a dinosaur comes along chasing him ?

oh you lot have really cheered me up. Thanks so much.

littlepeas my mum used to say that my dad think his poo smells of rose petals and that's why he doesn't open the window after pooing !

Eat with the dcs, get up earlier, make it fun. He is the one missing out. They will be grown up before you know it.

Oh littlepeas that's made me feel quite queasy!

My DH takes 10 minutes. I really don't get it. I go when I need to go, he goes everyday. How do you make yourself go? If I don't have the need then I don't.

I don't understand. Someone explain, a man.

dippymother i'm the same too. He takes about 40 mins to poo and shower. Comes out and looks at his ipad. Meanwhile i'm running around shouting like headless chicken "brush your teeth" "get your shoes on!"

My ex was like this, it drove me nuts.
I don't think he could even do a poo if he didn't have something to read.
It ran in his family, I thought it was a Yorkshire man thing.

Right, two things. First, yes, they see this as some nice quiet "me time". I can think of nicer spaces to spend "me time"

Second, most some blokes I know seem to insist on crapping on schedule, rather than on demand IYSWIM? And if it's not happening at 9:30 or whatever time, they will strain wait until it does. That is not healthy and risks 1) desensitising them to the actual sensation of needing to go and 2) piles.

I think most women only go when they actually feel the need to, which is why it only takes 2 minutes. In my experience a lot of men are obsessed with the state of their bowels and whether they have "been" today (DF I'm looking at you here).

20 minutes? Count yourself lucky!

DH is the same. As much as I hate sweeping gender-based generalisations, I think it is a common 'man thing', disappearing off to the toilet for 20 minutes or more, often with reading material. And I've wondered the same as PrivateBenjamin; maybe they don't have the same control of their pelvic floor as women do (which we need for pusing babies out), so they just have to sit and wait for it to, umm, fall out?

My DP does the same! Sometimes I even go looking for him to find out just what the f**k he is doing! Always with the baby in my arms so were just stood at the door staring at him sat there on his phone! And he does it in the morning and the evening. Men just love the smell of their own aromas!!

sitting on the toilet reading is gross

If my DH read this, he would think I was the OP! It is a standing joke in our hourse, referred to as the TMP. If we can't find him, one of the DC will say "must be TMP time". To be fair to him, I think he just finds it relaxing rather than a deliberate attempt to swerve tasks (he does more around the hourse than I do). And i think he genuinely does believe it takes him that long. I think he goes before he is really ready.

Oh god, you mean it's not just my DH who does this?! At least twice a day, he buggers off for 20+ minutes to play Candy Crush go for a dump.

I wonder how long it would take without reading material.

Being a cow, I'd say ok, go in with nothing to read or do for a month and if it's still taking you 20 minutes every single day, I'll never mention it again!

This drives me bloody mad. My husband can take forever and can't actually poo without reading, it would seem. I remember being surprised when I first saw a book by the toilet at my inlaws house I blame them. I genuinely had no idea people read on the toilet! I swear it takes me the same amount of time as it takes him just to wee.

Argh.