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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To buy my partner socks?

118 replies

BabyClam · 09/07/2013 17:19

We have been together 11 years and have a five month old DS.

Since starting maternity leave I have taken over all the family finances, house stuff (decorating etc) and shopping. We have our own money for clothes and discretionary spending.

I just bought him socks because I saw them in the sale. I wouldn't object to being bought socks myself, I think it's thoughtful, it's not a gift or anything.

He says he doesn't want me to think of socks when I think of him. Socks are what nans buy you at Christmas, apparently.

So AIBU or is he?

OP posts:

mikkii · 09/07/2013 20:13

DH complains that he needs new pants/socks and why don't I buy them? Well, because you like the most expensive pants M&S sell, far more expensive than mine are and you work near M&S and I don't!

ParadiseChick · 09/07/2013 20:14

I do a sock run once in a while, primark, socks, pants vests for everyone in the house plus hair bands and a new purse for me.

It's not mothering him, it's doing a job.

Bogeyface · 09/07/2013 20:15

Sorry Scottish did I take a wrong turn and end up in the 1950's?!

She should buy herself some nice sexy underwear because HE will appreciate it more?!

FFS! I have heard some crap on here but that takes the

KirjavaTheCat · 09/07/2013 20:15

I buy socks and underwear for my OH routinely in the sales, he's actually useless at buying himself anything and wears them all out to the point of fraying and doesn't seem to care. He really appreciates it! I didn't know it was odd

He does loads of things for me that I could do myself.

mrsjay · 09/07/2013 20:16

@wee wifey SM you make me laugh you are funny

scottishmummy · 09/07/2013 20:17

Why won't your dh have socks if you don't buy em?is he wholly incapable
Or is it simply habit that you do,so he expects
If he genuinely wouldn't have chuddies unless you buy em you have infantilised an adult man

mrsjay · 09/07/2013 20:18

Oh dear god nice undies lovers ffs we are in an episode of mistresses

Bogeyface · 09/07/2013 20:18

Its just socks FFS, hardly a political statement! I didnt buy his clothes, but if I saw a TShirt I thought he would like (he likes "Sheldon Cooper" type tees) then I would buy it. No "mothering" involved.

Why does everything have to have a fucking subtext on MN? Would it be sexist if he had bought her some socks, because he must have assumed that as a wee girly she is too thick to buy her own? Or would it be thoughtful that he noticed she needed some?

mrsjay · 09/07/2013 20:20

I cant believe socks were such an issue who knew

VitoCorleone · 09/07/2013 20:21

I always buy DPs socks. He never goes into town as he's always working, i am always in town shopping so i buy him what he needs while im there.

KirjavaTheCat · 09/07/2013 20:22

I know right! The things you learn.

scottishmummy · 09/07/2013 20:22

It's the oft repeated he'd have no pants,socks if wife didn't buy?why?
Why can't an adult man attend to purchases he needs,why does responsibility fall to woman
It's infantilising to think or accept your adult partner needs you or no pants to wear?

HansieMom · 09/07/2013 20:22

Tell him you think of stinky socks when you think of him.

runningonwillpower · 09/07/2013 20:23

My OH loves socks. Especially new socks.

I have to stop him putting them on wish lists because I've already bought them.

But he is old................

mrsjay · 09/07/2013 20:25

well tbh i dont really care what you think Scottishmumy fwiw yes my husband is a grown man who can buy his own pants and socks however if he asks me or I think he might need them then i will get them but you carry on being your partner lover in your nice undies and the rest of us wil live in the real world where couples buy boring things for each other,

scottishmummy · 09/07/2013 20:29

I'm quite simply not asking whether or not you care.it's not relevant
Point of online thread is the divergent opinion,the riposte
You don't need to clutch your shopping list of socks tutting you don't care

Bogeyface · 09/07/2013 20:30

Hang on........

ScottishMummy can you please explain these two statements please?

-I Think if you buy yourself Some nice undies he'll be more appreciative than socks

-It's wee wifey to buy your man socks,pants

So its ok for the OP to dress herself up like and Ann Summers mannequin in order to keep him happy, but she shouldnt buy his socks? Either she is a feminist non-sock buying woman. Or she is a wee wifey who dresses to please her man and could therefore also buy his socks.

Bogeyface · 09/07/2013 20:31

Scottish

Just a hunch.....has your OH ever seen you without make up or with your hair unbrushed.....?

Flobbadobs · 09/07/2013 20:36

Can't people just buy each other what they need these days? . If I'm out and about I'll text DH and ask him if he needs anything. Sometimes it's socks. He does the same for me. Big deal.
OP YANBU. Some people will go out of their way to get upset over something...

KirjavaTheCat · 09/07/2013 20:39

I guess my OH is a right wee hubby 'cus he buys my tampons.

Bogeyface · 09/07/2013 20:41

Flobba Shopping is a political act now! If a man buys his wife tampons is he being kind or controlling? If he buys her underwear for Valentines day then he is a sexist pig who views women as things for his pleasure. If he doesnt buy said underwear then he doesnt view his wife as a sexual partner but as an unpaid housekeeper and nanny, and is probably having an affair.

If a woman buys a man any item of clothing is she is mothering him, but if she doesnt then she is being selfish and uncaring. If she buys him a bottle of whiskey at Christmas she is enabling his binge drinking and putting her children at risk, and if she doesnt then she is controlling and uncaring and he is probably having an affair.

KirjavaTheCat · 09/07/2013 20:44

I think we should pretty much accept the fact that we're all abusive adulterers and be done with it.

mrsjay · 09/07/2013 20:47

I guess my OH is a right wee hubby 'cus he buys my tampons.

mine does the big shop and will buy bodyform with out batthing an eyelid he is the bestest wee hubby ever

Flobbadobs · 09/07/2013 20:47

Bogey so I probably shouldn't admit to occasionally buying DH's undies?
I'll stop doing it when he stops farting holes in his...

mrsjay · 09/07/2013 20:48

You don't need to clutch your shopping list of socks tutting you don't care

aye ok then

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