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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Traffic mastubaters

100 replies

lollylaughs · 09/07/2013 16:02

Really, is it just me?? Twice now in one year I've been subjected to seeing men masturbating - at a red traffic light, and now one in a traffic jam...

I have a big car so I am higher up then them so just happened to glance down and yep, there he was - having a good old tug!! Well this one seem no worse for wear and was just getting stuck in there, the previous one was looking at me while doing it - ughhhhh.

First time I was so flabbergasted I didn't think to take the registration number, and this time I couldn't see it. I was too busy concentrating on how to get the hell out of there I didn't even realize at first but when I saw the arm movement and he moved his car closer to mine I saw him.

Some people are just sick! What if dd had been with me in the car!

OP posts:

MmeLindor · 09/07/2013 18:06

Euuuw. That is disgusting.

We renamed a square in Rome 'Piazza di Wanker' after walking past an alfresco self-pleasurer.

DrHolmes · 09/07/2013 18:24

Me, my bf, my cousin (all in back seat) and my parents in front seats were driving into Monaco from Nice and we notice this Ferrari coming up to the left hand side of us going so fast. We all looked in as it passed and here's the guy getting a bj from some blonde. Our car was in silence for the rest of the journey haha! I can't believe he didn't come off the road!

LessMissAbs · 09/07/2013 18:36

Yeah, I saw it when I was in a traffic jam on a motorway. It was a van and they opened the side doors and started shouting at me to attract my attention and then hand down the pants, flies opened, etc.. Weird thing was there were three of them in there, although only one of them was "pleasuring" himself.

I purposefully didn't look, but noted down the business details on the van. Turned out they had quite a big HR dept which I spoke to, who took it very seriously and phoned back to say they had denied the masturbating (from their tone they obviously believed me not them) but had admitted smoking in the van which was against company policy, and they were being given a formal warning to go against their records.

Laurier88 · 09/07/2013 18:47

I saw this once when I was walking home from school - I was 11. To be fair when the bloke realised I had seen him he looked horrified and drove through a red light to get away. Didn't scar me for life or anything, but my mum did have to have an awkward conversation with me! Wish people who are crackers enough to want to do this would realise that anyone might see them.

KnittedWaffle · 09/07/2013 18:51

At a red light?! Can't need very long then!

I remember being subjected to similar on a train. Guy was masturbating behind a broadsheet newspaper on a packed train.

I was still at school so my naivety saved me a little (although that also makes it seem even worse when I look back on it)

TattyDevine · 09/07/2013 18:54

This one time at band camp my husband and I, plus children were driving home from McDonalds some eatery. The children had a toy and a part flew off and landed near Mr Devine's feet.

By happenstance we were approaching a roundabout as I leant down to grab it. A "white van man" caught this gesture in his line of vision and gave Mr Devine the thumbs up, to which the bastid he winked knowingly and nodded in agreement.

My sorry head emerged with some crappy plastic and wondered why various husbands were smirking and looking self-congratulatory.

Hmmkay · 09/07/2013 19:19

tatty

I don't know why but I had to google that you tube video someone mentioned earlier up thread.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=5grrZDXGT4w&feature=related

It is and

Disclaimer: Fortunately you can't see any "rude parts"

I had no idea this kind of thing was so prevalent - what strange people!

Ezio · 09/07/2013 19:25

I forget how funny that was, just love the guy waving at his mates.

HeffalumpTheFlump · 09/07/2013 19:55

Hmmkay that's it!!! Hilarious!!

Hmmkay · 09/07/2013 22:33

Haha it is hilarious! And very cringeworthy too

Toadinthehole · 10/07/2013 07:17

Traffic jam.

Fnarr, fnarr!

LouiseSmith · 10/07/2013 12:09

WOW! Cant say I have ever heard of that, or thankfully seen it..

Men are awful creatures.

GinOnTwoWheels · 10/07/2013 12:19

A couple of years ago a family was killed in a terrible motorway accident near us. It turned out it was the fault of a driver of another car. News reports at the time stated that he was drunk, on his mobile phone and 'performing a sex act on himself' at the time of the accident .

DuchessofHaphazard · 10/07/2013 12:39

That's just grim. I've never come across wanking in traffic, but I did sit next to someone (female) on a long-haul flight once who was having a wank. Economy class, so it wasn't like there was any space between us.

Grim grim grim, especially as I was in the window seat and would have had to climb over her to get out. I was 16 at the time and hugely shy, and seriously couldn't think of what on earth I could say.

Crinkle77 · 10/07/2013 12:44

I have never seen this. Are you sure he wasn't just having a good scratch? I am going to have to start paying more attention at the traffic lights.

Theselittlelightsofmine · 10/07/2013 12:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GinOnTwoWheels · 10/07/2013 12:55

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/7771299.stm

A little too graphic report of the incident I referred to.

FuturePerfect · 10/07/2013 13:01

In France, a guy once jumped off his moped and started wanking at me in the street. Kept his helmet on too which made it even weirder.

kerala · 10/07/2013 13:07

Nothing surprises me about pervs and France. On a school exchange in St Malo I was flashed at/wanked at 3 TIMES IN AS MANY DAYS! It is a town of utter perverts. I was a geeky 14 year old the time.

Original poster

lollylaughs · 10/07/2013 13:09

No Crinkle it wasn't just a scratch.

At first I thought maybe he was suffering with Parkinsons or something as I noticed as I stopped that his arm was moving, y'know, like a shake. So I'm looking around waiting for lights and the next minute he moved his car closer to mine (I was second in q at lights, he was first but didn't move forward into the gap at front, he just stayed next to me) and so when he moved his car closer to mine, his mirror just about knocked the bottom of my mirror as mine was higher.. He was trying to get my attention I reckon. So I looked and he carried on mid wank and gave me this most awful grinning glare. At that point the lights changed and I whizzed off round the corner. I was so shocked I didn't even think to take his numberplate. I have to add though, that when I was just about around the corner I glanced back to where his car was, and he hadn't moved his car at all, and they were honking him from behind.!!

I phoned dh and he was with all the blokes in the office. They all laughed and the fellas always have a pop at me about it when they see me now. If someone had told me the story, I probably would have thought it funny to, but really I didn't and I was quite upset about it...

Yesterday the guy was unoblivious to anyone around him, I don't think he even saw that I saw.. I was just out of that lane into the other one to get away from him. He was in a Clio so I could see his er crotch area quite clearly

OP posts:

JuliaScurr · 10/07/2013 13:10

this thread had 69 messages :D

DrDre · 10/07/2013 13:16

Didn't someone get prosecuted for this? He caused a fatal crash and it transpired that he was masturbating while he was driving.

chicaguapa · 10/07/2013 13:24

I thought this was going to be a thread about people who slow down to look at an accident.

There was a lady who was done for this too. She was in the fast lane on the motorway and had apparently had a stressful day.

ClockWatchingLady · 10/07/2013 13:25

Ex-BF told me he sometimes did this while driving on the motorway (drove a van so couldn't often be seen). Idiot - he could at least have waited for some traffic lights....

melika · 10/07/2013 13:27

omg such wankers!

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