to think it's wrong to leave a baby/toddler sleeping alone in a hotel room?

[strawberry34]

When you have a monitor and are still in the premises?my friend says she does it when on holiday, she goes to the bar/restaurant and responds to the monitor if her 2yo dd wakes, I was shocked and said I wouldn't ever want to, I stay in the room and read a book/have a bath. Aibu to think what she's doing is wrong? I don't want to refer to famous cases but to me there's too much risk.

fwiw, I don't think SW are any more prejudiced that the rest of us. We would all react differently to a well spoken surgeon as compared to a drunk man with a spider web tattoo on his face.

But of course, both men have the capacity to be wonderful/horrible parents.

Yes and repeated incidences of being left alone would constitute at risk. And it does. But I refer you back to the getting away with it.

Paradise At base level it is their fault. But many tragic things happen,accidents if you will, all the time to children. Well meaning loving parents make a mistake and something happens to the child.

Child playing by a river,parents stop looking for 30 seconds,child is gone, is found drowned later. Child playing on the pavement on their bike just outside the house,parent nips inside to the loo,child is hit by a car and injured/killed. That doesn't mean they are neglectful parents, it's an error of judgment with tragic consequences. Would you say parents who lost a child in either of those circumstances deserved to have their other children removed by SS or even had a case to answer.

The McCanns made a mistake,they know that. Beating a drum shouting it's their fault lacks compassion and understanding that people, educated or not, will all make mistakes.

I don't think being educated precludes you from making mistakes?

ivy the poster was a nurse and had talked about accidents seen in casualty

Paradise, is it part of your argument that parents like me are comparable to parents who would deliberately injure their child and then be clever enough to have a story to explain what has happened?

I don't want to do your position an injustice, but I am getting confused.

Where on the scale of wrongness do you put parents like me? Lets say Baby P's mother is at one end of the scale and Kate Middleton/Beyonce at the other.

Where am I ?

so shouldn't we involve the hotels in this? If using the baby listening service is by default, negligent, then hotels providing them needs to be made illegal. Obviously can only go as far as that in this country but could influence and educate.

It's hard to make those points without sounding prejudiced.

Takes us back to the old question of if the McCann had been a lower class single mother in benidorm would there have been the same hand wringing sympathetic there but for the grace of God goes I mentality?

Buffy, I think you have to remember the fall out from the horrible, horrible death of Victoria Climbie and all the others before her.

It was a clear recommendation from the inquiry into her death that SW HAD to be more suspcious. 'Polite scepticism' I think was the term used.

I don't have a problem with that. I would rather an innocent parent got an unpleasant grilling than any more little children were tortured and killed in the way that Victoria and Peter were.

But this is what pisses me off about these threads. If my behaviour is 'shocking' and appalling, really, what words are their for the killers of these chidlren?

A sense of perspective is really badly needed here I think.

Paradise

Honestly? No I don't think there would have been,but by Christ the media weren't particularly sympathetic to the McCanns either. They were accused in the media of murderinf their child! It wasn't all tea and sympathy for them!

I agree, if you feel strongly about parents eating meals in or outside hotels while children sleep inside, start a campaign. Get a petition. I won't be signing it.

No it's not an assumption that everyone has something to hide. But if you've left your child alone and something does happen you are accountable.

Some parents realise this and cover up. Others are naive and honest and would be leaving themselves on to further investigation or involvement.

I'm not talking adult causing deliberate harm. I'm talking about poems leaving children alone and they then come to harm.

That's not the case at all Buffy. Parents in deprived areas get more support and often engage willingly with early intervention teams.

If it's that simple in hindsight apply some foresight and don't get into the situation in the first place.

It's really easily avoidable.

And that's why the the early work is so important. It builds links and trust. Social workers aren't sitting in the wings to take children away.

They will offer support and advice where needed and if someone felt the need to do this on a regular basis I'd be asking why.

Just come across this thread and am really surprised. We've stayed in a family hotel in the UK every year since my dd was born and have always left her (and later ds too) in the room while we ate in the hotel restaurant. Lots of other families there doing the same. We go with in-laws and my dsis in law, who has older kids, had always done the same. Never really worried me! The hotel has a listening service with walkie talkies. Last year and this year dd was very good at using them if there was a problem (eg ds getting out of bed and romping around the room!). She is 5 now. And one of us would always go up halfway through meal to check they were asleep. Am surprised by the response on this thread given the number of families I saw in this particular hotel using the listening service for young kids and babies.

You're right Buffy which is why we think of hindsight as a benefit. However that cannot mean you never think of potential consequences and do everything to avoid meeting them.

imiandxandersmum

many nurses in A&E see children and babies that have had accidents that doesn't prove anything