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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think it's wrong to leave a baby/toddler sleeping alone in a hotel room?

765 replies

strawberry34 · 07/07/2013 14:03

When you have a monitor and are still in the premises?my friend says she does it when on holiday, she goes to the bar/restaurant and responds to the monitor if her 2yo dd wakes, I was shocked and said I wouldn't ever want to, I stay in the room and read a book/have a bath. Aibu to think what she's doing is wrong? I don't want to refer to famous cases but to me there's too much risk.

OP posts:
THERhubarb · 08/07/2013 20:27

ParadiseChick, I imagine you would be one of these outraged people - btw that article is a very good one and very spot on in everything it says.

Social Services visited the McCanns and told them they had no case to answer for. The McCanns themselves stated this and social services confirmed that they had looked into the case and decided not to take any action. That's because, as high as the risk was that they took, it was not classed as child neglect or any other form of abuse. Deal with it.

Spero · 08/07/2013 20:27

Paradise, as I have already explained, I did not judge my baby to be at any greater 'risk' from my actions as she would have been at home, and me downstairs watching telly, or in the bath or chatting on the phone to a friend....

1Veryhungrycaterpillar · 08/07/2013 20:28

Spero used a baby listening service and the OPs friend used a monitor, the McCaans took a bigger risk but nobody deer eves what happened to them, it's the person that took her that's evil

Spero · 08/07/2013 20:28

Statistics on how many parents have been convicted after leaving a baby for a few hours in a hotel room with a baby listening service?

Statistics on how many care orders have been made after parents left baby etc, etc.

You see, I can't think of ANY case where that has happened.

But as always, happy to be corrected and expand my understanding.

BuffytheReasonableFeminist · 08/07/2013 20:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ParadiseChick · 08/07/2013 20:29

No, ss said nothing.

They weren't charged, that's correct. It didn't happen on their turf.

THERhubarb · 08/07/2013 20:30

Or comparing a child in a hotel room with a monitor with a child left alone in an entire house for hours on end?

THERhubarb · 08/07/2013 20:31

They would not be charged in the UK.

If you think they would, kindly tell us how? On what charges? I am ready to be enlightened.

1Veryhungrycaterpillar · 08/07/2013 20:31

If your child is a ducted the fact is was 'your fault' does not make it worse, oohing could make it worse IMO

Spero · 08/07/2013 20:34

Paradise - the McCanns twins were very clearly in the jurisdiction of their local social serivces.

As I recall they were interviewed and nothing further happened. If the local child protection services considered what they did sufficiently serious, they would have had a statutory obligation to take action with regard to the remaining children living in their area.

THERhubarb · 08/07/2013 20:34

Social services went round to the McCanns because they were accused of drugging the children.

They did not go round because they left them in the apartment alone.

They visited once. They told the McCanns they did not have a case to answer for. A newspaper contacted the SS for a statement, they did not give one but they did confirm that they had spoken to them and were not taking any action against them.

Those are the facts ParadiseChick.

Funny how now, all of a sudden, you are a social worker. That's actually one of the most frightening things I've heard so far.

ParadiseChick · 08/07/2013 20:35

Very few things are black and white in social work. I think this is one of them however the law presents it as a grey area.

I've had to deal with parents leaving children for a range of reasons. All perfectly reasonable on their minds until you chat to them about the risks and alternatives.

Sepro you know as well as I do no charges can be brought unless something does go wrong and it's acreddited to being left alone.

Note I'm going to get flamed here but it's got a lot to do with the socio-economic background. Mums on estates going next door on a Friday night (no different to these fantastic micro hotels you are all on about) are more likely to get into trouble for this for a range of reasons (already known to ss etc) than the smarter better educated parents who have the foresight to think quickly when something does happen.

ivykaty44 · 08/07/2013 20:36

paradisechick I take you you have not found any cases anywhere as you never link to anything just spout of about what ifs and where fours - but you have no evidence of anything and when asked repeatedly to give evidence you ignore the calls.

You scaremonger and that is all you seem to be a scaremonger who can't find a single case of a something happening to a child in a hotel room left alone.

Spero · 08/07/2013 20:37

I am not a criminal lawyer, so happy to be corrected, but I have certainly had a lot of clients who were charged with child neglect/cruelty even though no harm had befallen their child, but because the risks that something horrible would happen (while they were drunk, out all night partying etc, etc, wandering around shopping centre at 2am with child only in a nappy) were very very high.

ParadiseChick · 08/07/2013 20:38

It's not all of a sudden, been qualified for some time now.

Ss did not comment, they were not charged, that's correct and what I said.

Ss would check they were for to care for the twins, which they were.

BuffytheReasonableFeminist · 08/07/2013 20:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

THERhubarb · 08/07/2013 20:38

At this point, I think ParadiseChick has enough rope already. I'm off to find something better to do.

imiandxandersmum · 08/07/2013 20:39

ivy an earlier poster mentioned several cases both of abuse and accidents

Spero · 08/07/2013 20:39

Paradise, I don't disagree with you about the impact of parents being from the 'right' backgrounds with nice accents etc.

I think things may have gone differently initially for the McCanns if they hadn't been impeccably middle class. But I still don't think they would have ended up on trial or their children in care. But they would probably have got rougher initial treatment.

ParadiseChick · 08/07/2013 20:40

Evidence of what?

Negligint parents?

There lots out there.

BuffytheReasonableFeminist · 08/07/2013 20:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Spero · 08/07/2013 20:41

YES. there are THOUSANDS of shitty, awful, disgusting parents out there.

The ones who go out for a meal and use a baby monitoring service at their hotel ARE NOT IN THAT GROUP.

StealthPolarBear · 08/07/2013 20:42

Paradise I thought the reasons for children being at risk were neglect, abuse or risk of neglect or abuse? So it's not after the fact at all.
Correct me if I'm wrong.

ParadiseChick · 08/07/2013 20:42

You missed that point Buffy.

Small incident where child requires treatment, some parents s have the foresight to have a story to hand. Some spout the truth without thinking of the consequences.

ivykaty44 · 08/07/2013 20:43

imiandxandersmum
no links though I can mention a lot of things doesn't prove a thing....

paradise you can't find a single link on google so now you talk about negligent parents - yes there are many but can you link to cases of harm coming to a child left alone in a hotel room and the answer is no you can't otherwise you would have done