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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think it's wrong to leave a baby/toddler sleeping alone in a hotel room?

765 replies

strawberry34 · 07/07/2013 14:03

When you have a monitor and are still in the premises?my friend says she does it when on holiday, she goes to the bar/restaurant and responds to the monitor if her 2yo dd wakes, I was shocked and said I wouldn't ever want to, I stay in the room and read a book/have a bath. Aibu to think what she's doing is wrong? I don't want to refer to famous cases but to me there's too much risk.

OP posts:
Alisvolatpropiis · 08/07/2013 20:02

I agree with you OP.

But I was never left alone as a child when my family were in holiday so it's not something I grew up thinking was the norm either. Even in the early 90's my parents were very against the idea.

ParadiseChick · 08/07/2013 20:03

And if that has happened in a hotel could you imagine the consequences?

You're pinning a lot on a cheap gadget. And again, but no one's answering, how relaxing is a meal where you're looking or listening to a monitor? Our is it not the case that the sense of security grows, the wine flows and you pay less and less attention? The noise in the restaurant increases gradually, you don't even notice.

Beautifulbabyboy · 08/07/2013 20:03

Paradise - a meal is important because I didn't stop being a person when I had a child.

1Veryhungrycaterpillar · 08/07/2013 20:03

Could you relax whilst out Spero? Genuine question not trying to be snarky

ParadiseChick · 08/07/2013 20:04

A monitor is not a substitute for supervision. Ever.

THERhubarb · 08/07/2013 20:04

Spero I am also happy to dig out the dates, places and times when I've been in a hotel and left the children with a monitor. I would be interested to hear what the police have to say when time-wasters call them to report us both.

Spero · 08/07/2013 20:05

Yes. I was relaxed and happy. Otherwise I would not have done it.

But then I have always been able to put my child in a cot, shut the door and go downstairs and watch TV quite happily.

I know lots of female friends who couldn't bear to do even that.

Maybe I am a man after all.

Spero · 08/07/2013 20:06

Yup, I am happy to turn myself in for questioning. I would also be interested to know what the police response would be. So would some hotels I imagine.

THERhubarb · 08/07/2013 20:06

1Veryhungrycaterpillar let me answer that.

First night with a very tired, very narky child screaming and having to put up with filthy looks from other diners whilst we try to stuff food in ourselves. Not relaxed at all.

Second night with baby happily asleep, baby monitor on table, able to hear every little creak and with us checking every half hour - yes we were able to relax.

Beautifulbabyboy · 08/07/2013 20:06

I could relax. I have had nice dinners. They are not rowdy or wine fuelled but mainly cos DS gets up at 5.30am...

LondonNinja · 08/07/2013 20:07

OP, YANBU.

This thread is staggering. Christ.

ParadiseChick · 08/07/2013 20:07

Neither did I funnily enough.

Holidays did however change and spending hours having into each other's eyes, whilst of course diligently watching a monitor, just doesn't happen on holiday.

It does happen at other times, when provisions, over and above a monitor, have been made.

THERhubarb · 08/07/2013 20:07

Spero do you think the hotels which offer baby sitting services realise that according to ParadiseChick and others they are condoning child abuse? Shock

SolomanDaisy · 08/07/2013 20:08

Some friends of ours never use a babysitter, they just leave a monitor with their next door neighbours. I guess it's similar. Not something we would do, but other people assess risk differently.

1Veryhungrycaterpillar · 08/07/2013 20:08

THERhubarb, I asked Spero because she went for a meal in a restaurant outside the hotel

THERhubarb · 08/07/2013 20:09

Let's do a quick fun test - which side of the debate do you think has been the most abusive?

Let's ponder on that for a moment shall we?

ParadiseChick · 08/07/2013 20:09

Who mentioned abuse?

Spero · 08/07/2013 20:10

The bottom line is, unless I am going to be arrested, tried and convicted for what I did, and what many others do using a service offered by hotels, some posters are just going to have to accept that society does not yet march in step with their views about what does or does not constitute child abuse.

THERhubarb · 08/07/2013 20:10

Sorry caterpillar, but in the end her reasons where pretty much the same as mine Smile

ParadiseChick · 08/07/2013 20:10

You seem to perceive that you have had dogs abuse here. I don't see that.

Lweji · 08/07/2013 20:11

Just pointing out that saying I've done it and all was fine, is a bit like saying you smoke near your child, overheat it, let it sleep on its front, etc and it was fine.

Cot death is also a very small risk, but when it happens it is devastating, as would a serious accident to a baby in a hotel room.
In that sense, I'd relax more about a baby than a toddler, because toddlers can move around.
In a similar way, a one off meal is less dangerous than a regular event where the baby/toddler is left alone.

But the truth is that bad things can happen, even with the parents watching or sleeping in the same room.
We can do our best to reduce the risks, that's all.

THERhubarb · 08/07/2013 20:11

Absolutely.

It is NOT illegal, you CANNOT be prosecuted for it and many hotels in fact offer it as a paid service.

So what we choose to do within the confines of the law is nobody else's damn business. Pity they can't accept that.

THERhubarb · 08/07/2013 20:12

dogs abuse?

Lay off the drugs dear.

1Veryhungrycaterpillar · 08/07/2013 20:12

I don't think it's abuse and I haven't said anything of the sort, I couldn't do it but would never call people neglectful, selfish etc

ParadiseChick · 08/07/2013 20:13

Anyone fancy phoning the nspcc and asking for their stance?

Society does dictate what is and isn't acceptable. Just no one had had the band's to take this issue yet so it will be treated like the home alone information.

Fine as long as you get away with it. When the shit hits the fan you're getting covered.