to think it's wrong to leave a baby/toddler sleeping alone in a hotel room?

[strawberry34]

When you have a monitor and are still in the premises?my friend says she does it when on holiday, she goes to the bar/restaurant and responds to the monitor if her 2yo dd wakes, I was shocked and said I wouldn't ever want to, I stay in the room and read a book/have a bath. Aibu to think what she's doing is wrong? I don't want to refer to famous cases but to me there's too much risk.

I wonder what social services and nspcc take on all this is.

Just to say also those breathing monitors (which we used both times) are not fool proof as we were told while at A&E with both our boys (ds1 stopped breathing and the alarm alerted us to it at 6mths old, ds2 had breath holding related seizures at 10mths old onwards). We were told that a baby can still become ill while on a breathing monitor and you shouldn't rely on them over natural instinct. Lets face it technology isn't a human being with the ability to assess a situation.

For example if ds2 was having a seizure he would still be moving/twitching but not breathing - he also doesn't make much noise. I guess his medical history also affect our decision making. I still worry about him at 2 yrs old having an extended seizure in his room and us not knowing about it.

Actually, I never used a baby monitor - but that's 'cos I never used one at home either. With a child who never woke up, we never saw the point.

If he were crying loudly enough, we would hear it. He did it once, age 6 months, when he had a D&V bug.

The preference to think the best of people meant that when he was 13 months old, we were able to enjoy a lunch in an empty restaurant in South Africa, while the staff took him off to explore the kitchen, the grounds, not sure where else..... He went out of sight and we let them take him He ended up lording it on the bar counter, being fed crisps by adoring staff, both black and white.

Wow this is an angry thread! I wouldn't do it but don't care if others do. I haven't read much about Madeline but weren't her parents in a restaurant separate to the hotel?

*THEY. HAVE. A. BABY. MONITOR.

Which is what the couple in the OP had. A. BABY. MONITOR.*

No need to get defensive with all the shouting.
If a baby monitor is used as in the OP, no I still wouldn't do it. It's nothing to do with paranoia. It's called common sense.
You wouldn't leave passports, all your money, your home address and house keys out on full view in your hotel room, would you?
So why is it suddenly OK to do that with your children? No, nothing's likely to happen.Why willing to take the risk though?
If you had to vacate the premises quickly (eg) fire alarm. (Yes, yes, very unlikely to happen but it could.)
Exactly how quickly are you expecting to get upstairs in seconds if everyone else in the building is currently pouring DOWN the stairs and out of the building instead of up and in?
It's not scare mongering. It's common bloody sense.

See also the post about them waking up anywhere strange without you. Say, a holiday apartment "Ooooooh no strange room!" or a relative's house "Argh, strange room!"

Most people's houses are nowhere near as bloody big as hotels with hundreds of bedrooms (or maybe they are where you are.)
Slightly different scenario. Especially when there's not hundreds of other families/staff/ and many floors to navigate when need to get them.
If they are points already made, well it's obvious they need saying again then as some choose to ignore valid points.
Why take kids on holiday with you if you just leave them behind to enjoy going out? You take them with you. Or leave them at home. Not take them on holiday and then leave them by themselves.

Rhubarb you are just proving my point and the only person becoming hysterical would appear to be you. We both know that given my background your argument was never going to stand up. You are happy with your choice, I genuinely hope for your child's sake you are never in a position to regret it.

Rhubarb. I could be wrong, but I think you may be a foster parent.
If I were you, I would check with ss on what their policy is on this.

Fuck off! Foster parent?

Threatening me with ss?

I would say more but my post would be deleted.

This is getting out of hand. I am not a foster parent.

You want my name? You want to report me? Go ahead.

I find some of you posters are disgusting pathetic people.

You goad with your accusations that we do not love our children as much as you love yours. You goad by telling us how irresponsible and idioitic and moronic we are. You goad by suggesting we would be reported to the NSPCC (neither they nor social services have any policies on the use of baby monitors in hotel rooms) and then when we eventually bite, as anyone would do then they are subject to such continued personal abuse, you call us hysterical and tell us that our reaction proves your point.

This is not a debate. This is an exercise in goading and a shameful one at that.

I have answered every poster I could. I have answered the question about the lottery ticket and valuables and stated that it is not comparible as you'd have the baby monitor watching over them. That was not answered. I made the point about child abduction cases statistically going down, not up. That was not answered. The lottery and valuables point keeps coming up even though I have said more than three times now that you would need to ask that question with a baby monitor watching them for it to become close to comparable.

People have even continually made points about the McCann case which again is not comparable because again, there is the issue with the baby monitor which is a point again that is ignored. And the case was over 8 years ago.

Most of us have been reasonable and polite but there are a shameful few who goad and goad until they get what they were looking for - an emotional response which they then interpret as parental guilt which proves them right.

hamilton75 you will not get your reaction.

yam go back to detective school. I am not and never have been a foster carer. And fwiw there is NO policy about baby monitors and hotel rooms but good luck in trying to get social services, who have better things to do, to take you seriously.

If you want to continue to threaten me then go ahead. It says a lot about the type of people you are.

I'm sure you all love your kids as much as I love mine. I'm happy to leave it at that.

The valuables argument doesn't stack up. I'd leave my children in an unlocked car while I paid for fuel while taking my bag with me. It's not that I love them less, but the chances of there being a bag snatcher at any given place at one time must be about 10,000x higher than there being someone who is willing to snatch a child.

The danger is the gained from doing this a few times. Ah well they were ok that time in that tiny hotel that was just like our house to 'Oh it will be ok this time we're only down the stairs, and along a bit and we'll take the moniter (that doesn't do anything for you by the way, it's meant to be used as well as not instead of parents being present) to 'Ah it's only a flight of stairs, we'll jump in the lift - we still get a signal on the monitor - it'll be fine' and so on and so forth.

Rhubarb you're starting to sound quite bizzare. You keep making comparisions that are totally irrellevent.

Stealth someone said that I believe but your point, as valid as it is will be ignored and instead someone will make a different point which will have also already been answered and ignored. Our frustration with this will be interpreted as defensive and we will be told that we somehow love our kids less and that if social services only knew they would have been taken away from us.

There are some lovely posters on here today

You see ParadiseChick is one of them. She is guilty of goading and actually the comparisons I just made are all ones that have been made by herself and other posters. I was merely answering them.

You see how this thread works? They want a reaction so they can tell us how bizarre we sound because surely any mother whose parenting skills and love for her children has been questioned should still be capable of patiently answering every single critic and every single point no matter how ridiculous or how repetitive. We clearly have nothing better to do.

You're right, there are no laws about leaving children alone. It's not black and white, as an issue as a whole.

There are however guidelines which you can read up on here

As you will see a baby cannot possibly be left home alone safely.

Baby monitors never have been or never will be a substitute.

I think the defensive reaction prove

*Proves people aren't comfortable with the decisions they have made.

Yes because leaving a child home all by itself is comparible to leaving it in a hotel room? And I'm the one with irrelevant comparisons?

Do you really think that guidelines about leaving a child in a house alone is akin to in a hotel room with a baby monitor?

Yes you said that ParadiseChick they are not of course reactions to posters implying that I am a foster carer who ought to be careful if I don't want to be reported? Or that I love my children less than they do? Or that I'm irresponsible and neglectful? Oh no, they have to be defensive because of the decisions I have taken.

Thank you so much for your psychological analysis of my state. Please do tell why some posters react with such arrogance, superiority and downright nastiness? I'd love to know. Is it because they are not comfortable with the decisions they are still making?

Absolutly relevent.

If you wouldn't do it on home you sure as hell don't do it on holiday.

But people forget that all the time on holiday. They drink too much, carry to much cash, eat to much, forget to lock away their valuables... oh and willfully abandon their children.

I'm not those posters, I don't speak on anyone's behalf.

I'd like my DCs with me in case there was an emergency etc (paranoia!)but wouldn't judge someone sat downstairs with a baby monitor and its pretty harsh to threaten another poster with the SS!

A baby/toddler? NWIH and I am considered pretty relaxed when it comes to parenting by most.

My main fear would be a fire or just them waking up scared. Abduction would not have crossed my mind until the MM case happened to be honest. I actually never think about it.

I couldn't relax but that is just me, I certainly wouldn't see it as neglectful if another parent felt differently about it though.

Again ParadiseChick you are playing with the truth to fit your argument.

"But people forget that all the time on holiday. They drink too much, carry to much cash, eat to much, forget to lock away their valuables... oh and willfully abandon their children." Speak for yourself.

You gave a link to guidelines from the NSPCC on leaving children at home alone and you claim that this is relevant and a fair comparison to leaving them in a hotel room with a baby monitor?

Yet I am the bizarre one?

I think I have given you a fair hearing ParadiseChick. I have been patient and addressed all your points. I have not questioned your own parenting skills or your love for your children. I do not think that this conversation is going to go anywhere judging by your irrelevant comments and generalisations of holidaymakers.

YY to that Samu2, I wouldn't be able to relax rendering it pointless

"You can say that you've come to put the facts and stats on the table but the difference is I've lived it. I've had to break news to hysterical relatives and on the other side of the coin seen parents lives destroyed where they have been dragged through trials etc... The guilt they feel is insurmountable."

And these are all cases where a sleeping baby has come to harm while in a locked hotel room while their parents are downstairs in the same building with a baby monitor?

Probably not curlew but I doubt you will get an answer.