Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

To think when you go on holiday with family....

110 replies

babybearsmummy · 06/07/2013 16:52

That room should be allocated depending on people's needs?!

Here goes (I'll try to keep it short)

O.h, dd (15mths when we go) and I have been invited to go on holiday in October with o.h's parents as they have booked a 6 berth lodge in Devon for a week and thought we could do with some time away too. Great, we thought, we looked on the website and found it had one bedroom with a king size bed and en suite with bath and overhead shower. One bedroom with a double bed and a third bedroom which is a single room. Also another bathroom with just a shower (no bath)

So we were under the presumption that we'd have the room with en suite so we could bathe dd as she doesn't like the shower, then dress her in the privacy of the bedroom before putting her to bed in the single room. This would mean o.h's parents would have the double room and use the other bathroom with just a shower as o.h's dad is disabled so can't climb into a bathtub to shower.

But no. They want the master room as they want the bigger bed. They also want to shower in the non-en suite bathroom due to o.h's dad's disability. So we'd have to go not their room to bathe dd and walk her across the cabin to get her dressed in our room or hers.

I know I'm being petty, but it just doesn't make sense to me. I wouldn't be so annoyed if they were actually paying for the holiday but, due to o.h's day's disability, they get a £750 holiday allowance each year, so I don't understand why they have first dibs when our needs are greater!

Someone smack some sense into me!

OP posts:

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 06/07/2013 17:09

If they are old, they may need to use the loo in the middle of the night, and so the ensuite makes sense for them.

Your needs aren't necessarily greater

omletta · 06/07/2013 17:10

So you could bathe your DD at 5?

ElectricSheep · 06/07/2013 17:10

Don't go then. You can't have your cake free holiday and eat it moan that you don't get to decide who sleeps where.

And the comment about a disabled holiday allowance which I seriously doubt the truth of is just plain mean and nasty. There's no way I'd take you on holiday.

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 06/07/2013 17:11

Regardless of money, you wouldn't be going on this holiday if it weren't for them, so they get to choose.

stiffstink · 06/07/2013 17:11

Bathe your child earlier so as to not inconvenience a disabled person who is paying for your fucking holiday

ElectricSheep · 06/07/2013 17:12

The money sounds like insurance to me. Which they will have paid for for a long time. Meh I've rarely heard such selfish entitled crap spewed forth.

EliotNess · 06/07/2013 17:13

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

ElectricSheep · 06/07/2013 17:13

YABVVU

BillComptonstrousers · 06/07/2013 17:14

Does a 15 month old really need privacy to get her pyjamas on?? What's the problem with carrying her across the hall in front of her grandparents? I set my 16 month old DD free after a bath, she loves to run around naked.

ihearsounds · 06/07/2013 17:14

Oh wow. So you are havong 2 of the 3 bedrooms, at no cost to you and you arent happy because your pfb will have to go into a bath and then walk across the corridor? Wow.
Suck it up amd be greatful. This is what people who arent selfish do.

emsyj · 06/07/2013 17:14

They sometimes go to bed at 6pm???

I don't believe you. You need less sleep as you get older, not more. If they went to bed at 6pm, they'd be up at what, 2 or 3 in the morning?

Anyway, key lesson for life is that if you want to do things your way, you arrange and pay for them yourself. If you don't like what's on offer here, politely decline the invitation and book your own holiday.

ElectricSheep · 06/07/2013 17:14

Was that directed at me Elliot

Wallison · 06/07/2013 17:14

If you want to do something to alleviate the trauma of your dd bathing in a room not attached to yours, you could always create a path of rose petals for her to walk on.

LIZS · 06/07/2013 17:16

It is probably a charity or former employers/union scheme funding it.

MrsWembley · 06/07/2013 17:17

You're on holiday! Does your DD get so filthy she needs a bath every night? Seriously, a flannel, a bowl of warm water and a bit of soap/Johnson's/nothing else at all.

Oh and YABVU! It's free fucking holiday! Get over yourselves!

EliotNess · 06/07/2013 17:18

Sheep. Non

mikkii · 06/07/2013 17:18

We recently stayed in a lodge and the en-suite shower room also had a door to the corridor.

If they sometimes go to bed at 6 or 7, I'm sure they would wait until 6.15 so you can bathe DD.

Wallison · 06/07/2013 17:18

If you don't have rose petals, you could just use bog roll instead, a la Howard Hughes.

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 06/07/2013 17:20

It's a good idea to get them used to showers. A universal plug in the shower tray, or sitting her in the tray with a washing up bowl beside her. It's entirely do- able . We did that for several years when we visited DHS parents.

caramelwaffle · 06/07/2013 17:20

I agree with LIZS in that it sounds like an employer or Union scheme: I also pay into two of these schemes which would pay out for something like this.

TNETENNBA · 06/07/2013 17:20

Sorry but YABU. (Very)
It wouldn't have crossed my mind that I would have got the 'best' bedroom if I was the OP. .

You can always ask to use the bath if need be and I am sure it is best for the in-laws to have the en-suite.

Just bathe your DD earlier if the in-laws go to bed early in the evening.

You seem very inflexible If you are to have any hope of enjoying this (free) holiday you would be best trying to be a bit more relaxed.

freemanbatch · 06/07/2013 17:21

I clicked on this ready to tell you you were not being unreasonable based on my last holiday with my parents when they insisted on the double room with ensuite and yet had all their stuff in the main bathroom leaving me and the kids with very little space and living out of a bag that lived on the spare bed in my room BUT I paid over half for that holiday as there were 3 of us and 2 of them and they simply pulled rank as the 'parents!' had I been on a free holiday I think I'd just have lived with it!!

SelectAUserName · 06/07/2013 17:21

OP, consider yourself smacked. YABincrediblyU.

Regardless of your PIL's needs, the people paying for or providing the holiday get to choose. End of. And yes, they might sleep in a double bed at home which is why it will be an extra treat for them to have a kingsize bed on holiday, won't it?

We're going on holiday with my parents next year and as we're on a tight budget, they're very generously paying for the accommodation, so we only have to find our ferry fare, spending money and to pay for a petsitter. The gite we're staying in has one ensuite bedroom and one standard double room. It wouldn't even occur to me to discuss sleeping arrangements; I've assumed from the get-go that they will have the ensuite as they are paying for the accommodation.

Wallison · 06/07/2013 17:22

Perhaps some fairy lights draped across the walls of the route as well. Get them to pay for it, obv; all of The Disabled get free fairy lights from their GPs as a matter of course. They just turn up and say "My leg feels a bit funny today" and us poor mugs the tax-payers are the ones forking out.

expatinscotland · 06/07/2013 17:26

I would expect the eldest people to have the largest bed.

YABVU.

Your needs are not greater. A 15-month-old doesn't need privacy to get dressed.

You need a large glass of GetOverYourself.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5