DH is being unreasonable [title edited by MNHQ]

[expatbrat]

To think that it's bloody ridiculous how much research is going into which Doctor to go to for a vasectomy and how little (none on his behalf) it was for me to go on birth control?
I mean REALLY... Get over it and get it snipped!
Happily married, 2 grown kids, no plans for any more (fingers crossed) Time of life I would like to not be screwing up my hormones and reach menopause in some kind of natural state. All he has to do is pick which Dr he would like to go with and in/out Bobs your uncle.
IABU to think Google is a bugger and should be banned from all Husbands on a quest for vasectomy horror stories?

Should add he really does agree/want to get it done.

[LeoTheLateBloomer]

1. I saw your title as a piss take of those with SN. I would use 'precious' in this context.
   

1. YABU. A vasectomy is a much bigger deal than going on the pill.

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

Tee. It's the apostrophes, and fact it's being used as insult

( can't believe I have to spell that out tbh)

[WeAreSix]

There was a thread in S&B a while ago which was deleted for the disablist use of the word 'special'.

As OP has put it in speech marks, I take it to mean the derogatory way which is offensive to parents with children who have SNs and those who have SNs.

[IPreferCats]

YANBU

I did 10+ years on the pill. Came off to get pregnant and found DH was infertile. 2 rounds of IVF with ICSI, a twin pregnancy, c-section and then the broken body I've been left with. All he needs to do is a day surgery procedure.

Can you tell it's a sore point in my house too!

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

The show isn't called 'something "special" ( pisstake voice ) is it?

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

Yes..I meant its in quotes, not apostrophes.

[Tee2072]

Whatever. It's too fucking early on a Saturday to get offended by something someone posts on MN.

Enjoy your day.

[SolomanDaisy]

I was shocked when I saw the thread title, but reading the OP it is pretty clear she means precious, as in her DH views himself as someone too special for normal treatment.

[curlew]

Oh come on. Everyone knows that using "special"!like this is offensive. What else does it mean?

[JumpingJackSprat]

Yabvu. its his body, you shouldnt get a say in where he goes. if he wants to spend time making sure he goes to the right place maybe you should either butt out or actually suppirt him, you know like couples do?

[LeoTheLateBloomer]

I'm in complete agreement with Fanjo

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

Tee..I agree it is too early..could hve done without reading it and automatically feeling offended..you are right.

[Eyesunderarock]

I think YABU, and yes, your thread title did make me
It's surgery on a very delicate and important part of his anatomy, and he sounds a bit nervous.
'Screwing up my hormones' are you comparing his worry of surgery with taking a pill? Are you usually this impatient with him when he's feeling vulnerable? Poor sod.
Does he tell you when you are being silly and irrational too, and get grumpy?
How long has he been dithering between choices?
Feel free to go on a sex strike. If I were him it wouldn't influence me. I don't fancy people that pressurise me into making a rushed decision.

[amistillsexy]

I agree with Fanjo. Appalling choice of words.

Also an appalling lack if empathy for your dh, op.

[Pagwatch]

Its a stupid title. Just get it changed. Jeez.

[OneHandFlapping]

FGS it's special as in "Mummy's special little soldier". Nothing to do with Special Needs.

You can't make Special a reserved word.

It's getting so nobody can say anything at all in case somebody else gets offended.

[Thisisaeuphemism]

I turn up on all vasectomy threads :)

They can go wrong. About one in ten are ballsed up. It's good he's going in with his eyes open.

[TinaSurrey]

One of my work colleagues e mailed me asking why I had missed their name off a report (I hadn't but they had just missed it by only scanning through I guess.).

Ten minutes later before I had replied he mailed me again saying "ignore my last e mail, it was me being special".

I was speechless! He clearly didn't see it as an inappropriate word to use. I mentioned it to one other person who was of the opinion it wasn't an offensive term so I thought it must be me. Quite relieved to have my instinct proved right - but clearly others have no idea it's an offensive term.

[kungfupannda]

I immediately thought that the OP was using "special" in the insulting way, too.

Something Special is a bit different - although I know some people are uncomfortable with the title - as it's deliberately taking something that people use as a snipy little insult and turning it into something positive - it's saying 'yes, we are special, and we're included' That's how I've always interpreted it. There's also the fact that it's attached to something that is meant as a positive, inclusive thing for children with disabilities.

And YABU, OP. Both in your choice of insult and in your spectacular lack of support for someone about to undergo surgery for both of your benefits.

If he'd been sarcastic every time you gave your labour and birth process any thought, or tried to discuss it, I doubt you'd have been happy.

[Pagwatch]

Thisisaeuphemism
That's quite the hobby - cruising vasectomy threads

[fairylightsinthespring]

OP you are being a bit U about him getting in a flap over the surgery. As to the thread title, really can't believe how het up people get over a word (possibly) slightly misused because the OP was focusing on the point of her thread, not agonising over semantics.

[Thisisaeuphemism]

Pag, I see it as my duty to Dhs one remaining testicle. :)

[Pagwatch]

In fairness fairylights, that's bollocks.

It's not semantics about a little word. It's whether the op is sneering at her husband by comparing him to a person with SN. For a chunk of people that is not a little thing.

I m not to bothered because the op sounds massively insensitive so I am going to put a shit title choice down as a part of her manner.

[lisianthus]

I thought she meant as in "special snowflake", but let's see what the OP says. She may be horrified that it has come across as insulting to children with SN.