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Original poster

Upsetting content - young mother and baby lay dead undiscovered for 'weeks'. Sad indictment of society today?

56 replies

Lionessy · 04/07/2013 13:53

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2355234/Mother-27-history-depression-month-old-baby-daughter-dead-home-seen-weeks.html

Of course, assumptions are being made but the poor woman was known to suffer from blinding headaches and had been rushed to hospital on at least one occasion. Nobody checked on her until she had'nt been seen for 'weeks'.

Poor baby may have died of starvation due to mother dying first. What a terrifying thought.

Should we just pass this off as 'these things happen' or should we as a community be more 'nosy' and show an interest in our fellow human beings at the risk of causing upset and being told where to get off.

I just find this unbelievable and very, very scary Sad.

OP posts:
MohammedLover · 04/07/2013 13:59

It sounds very sad from your post.

A big here here for Neighborhood watch and not falling out with your family I guess.

RIP to them both.

JessicaBeatriceFletcher · 04/07/2013 14:01

Yes it is sad but I can imagine that happening to a lot of people. Perhaps not weeks, necessarily, but certainly several days. I can imagine it happening to me. I have almost no family, there are often weekends where I see or speak to no-one, so if I had a Friday and Monday booked off for a long weekend and popped my clogs the Thursday night, it'd probably be at least the following Wednesday before someone might just notice.

AmyFarrahFowlerCooper · 04/07/2013 14:02

That is so so sad :( I have a fear of something like this happening to me like if I fall down the stairs and no one knows that my dd is alone and she starves. Luckily I've set up a system with family to check on us every day but I wonder about people who don't have that option.

I think humans should be more nosy and risk upsetting someone. Its hard though with the way people don't talk to neighbours. There's a few other young single mums down my little street who I see out and about every day or so. If I didn't see them for a few days, I'd be worried thinking should I call the police? Is that too extreme? What if they are on holiday? Its hard. I like to think I would call 101 though just in case.

1Veryhungrycaterpillar · 04/07/2013 14:03

God that's is so awful, that poor little baby

TigOldBitties · 04/07/2013 14:41

It's very sad, but you can't force people into socialising, getting on with their family or not being isolated.

Not having an interaction is horrible and would be my nightmare but for lots of people it's a reality, often through choices they've made along the way and they probably wouldn't appreciate the interfering.

ScrumptiousSally · 04/07/2013 14:44

There was a film called 'Dreams of A Life' a couple of years ago, really sad (sensitively made) documentary about Joyce Vincent, who was undiscovered for three years.

It's a really good film, you can still see it on 4OD

TigOldBitties · 04/07/2013 14:46

Also where was the health visitor, if this woman had a history of depression, post natal depression and collapsing, did they not have any concerns about not having any contact with her or the baby for 6 weeks!

DesperatelySeekingSedatives · 04/07/2013 15:02

The HV had apparently "knocked a few times" a few weeks ago and then given up. You can't force anyone to see HV AFAIK which is fair enough IMO but this lady alledgedly had a history of PND and perhaps could have done with being checked on better than this happened.

What did make me Confused was that this community has been described as "close knit". It can't be that close knit if anyone who lives there can lie dead for weeks. I'm not passing judgement on anyone btw, I've lived in plenty of neighbourhoods where people avoid each other, and this scenario could easily happen sadly, but I doubt everyone who lives where this poor lady and her baby did are as close as is being said.

Whatever has happened I hope neither mother or baby suffered too much before they died and they rest in peace now. So, so sad.

TigOldBitties · 04/07/2013 15:08

It seems a rather feeble attempt by the HV, considering this woman's history.

I guess all we can hope is that they didn't suffer and it was something quick and unexpected like carbon monoxide, its horrible to think they both suffered without any support.

I too thought it was strange to describe it as close knit. 6 weeks is a long time, by the look of the house, I think it's strange that the neighbours didn't notice they couldn't hear the baby or anyone moving about. They seem to have noted all the other details about her life.

meditrina · 04/07/2013 15:10

This is getting a bit ahead of released information: the deaths are currently "unexplained" and there's been nothing to suggest what theories are in the frame, nor any word on involvement of other agencies or HCPs.

oohdaddypig · 04/07/2013 15:14

I find it incredibly upsetting to think the baby might have starved to death.

Looking at the house and mentions of a so called close knit community it seems unbelievable no one thought to check. So many failings.

TheRealFellatio · 04/07/2013 15:16

Good God what a horrible story. She obviously led quite a troubled existence if she could go unseen for several weeks and not one friend or family member missed her or raised the alarm - who awful. Sad

If her mother has been taking care of her other children it must be known that she had huge problems and that the baby was vulnerable. They must have had a massive falling out, so I bet her poor mother is inconsolable now, and carrying so much guilt. What an awful thing to happen. I think under the circumstances the HV should have been a bit more on the ball. I hope to God that poor baby didn't lay there for days and days on end, soiled and with no food, water or warmth - what an unbearable thought.

Although I agree with DSS - how close-knit can it be if a baby is screaming for hours, possibly days and no-one hears or checks the front door?

The neighbour said he'd found her collapsed unconscious before, so presumably he let himself in then? But no-one thought to try the unlocked door this time? Confused What a very odd and disturbing story all round.

Eyesunderarock · 04/07/2013 15:23

What a dreadful tragedy for everyone concerned.
She had two other children living with her mother, it's strange that she had no contact with her other children for such a long time and that didn't worry her mother.
There is no possible good conclusion here, whatever happened or why it's just so sad.

Cupcakespink · 04/07/2013 15:25

So Sad, poor baby. As for Close knit community, I've lived in one before and if you weren't related to someone or had family that had lived there for year's then you were an outsider. I'm not saying that is the case in all, but that's my experience. And no one would be looking out for you if they didn't see you for a while, not a chance of it.

ScrumptiousSally I watched that Documentary last night, and it was very sad considering she had Sister's and nephew's and niece's but who know's what went on to make her loose contact with them

cantspel · 04/07/2013 15:34

Having read a thread on here only a few days ago about people hating visitors who just pop in and refuse to open the door if they are not expecting anyone i can see how this tragic event could happen and why no one worried when she hadn't been seen by anyone.

forevergreek · 04/07/2013 15:37

It's very sad but tbh it could happen easily.

Not nessesarily 6 weeks but I'm sure if say dh or myself were away and the other died at home with children no one would know for a few days. If dh is travelling through timezones we may not be in contact for 3/4 days. Even though I work, a few days are from home. So if I happened to be working from home/ dh away / children not due at nursery etc then no one would worry.

Although ds1 is 3 and could open front door if needed.

HenriettaPye · 04/07/2013 15:38

Heartbreaking. I hope that poor baby didn't die of starvation. Sad

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman · 04/07/2013 15:42

It is very sad that they could have lain undiscovered for that length of time but it's not a new phenomenon though is it?

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit · 04/07/2013 15:48

Um, it says the father of the baby visited the scene afterwards? Where was he during the 'several weeks'? Clearly so concerned about his baby's welfare that he...did precisely nothing?

DesperatelySeekingSedatives · 04/07/2013 17:07

It's hugely depressing all round. Obviously her family are upset that this has happened but surely even if there had been a falling out at some point in those 6 weeks someone would have missed this lady and the baby. Where the hell was her support network? assuming she had one that is.

It isnt a new phenomenon that people have sadly been left dead and undiscovered for weeks, months or longer but a woman (especially if she was vunerable) with a young baby? I cant speak for others but when my 2 were new and tiny I couldnt get rid of many of my relatives and friends if I wanted to- everyone took an interest in the baby. Not to mention weigh ins at clinic and jabs for little one. they weren't missed by anyone at all for up to 6 weeks.

AuntieBrenda · 04/07/2013 17:28

I know this community. The cause of death for this lady and her baby is unknown at present. Locally, there is talk of carbon monoxide poisoning.

CloudsAndTrees · 04/07/2013 17:36

It's very sad, but I don't think it's a reflection on society. It's about this individual family, no one else.

WilsonFrickett · 04/07/2013 17:40

I agree Clouds. And if it's a sad reflection on anyone it's a sad reflection on the father of the baby... wtf has he been for 6 weeks?

halcyondays · 04/07/2013 17:46

If you didn't see your neighbours for a week or two you might just think they'd gone on holiday. It was neighbours who did eventually become concerned and climbed up to look in the window. You'd think the HV might have become concerned if she never answered the door, especially as she'd had PND. Usually her parents visited her, but they'd had a falling out a few weeks before.

ThreeBeeOneGee · 04/07/2013 17:46

So sad, for her, her baby and for her other children, who had already been apart from their mum for two months without seeing her.

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