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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To Feel Irritated By The Work Experience Girl?

120 replies

TiffanyAtBreakfast · 03/07/2013 17:12

Okay. I don't know if I am just being a moany mare or not...

We currently have a young girl in the office who has just finished her GCSEs and will be here for two weeks for voluntary summer work experience (not the compulsory year 11 work experience). She's really sweet and personable and has been trying hard at doing her admin tasks and sitting in on meetings to learn etc. However I am getting so irritated by her saying "I'm just so tired", and "it's been so tiring", literally every single time someone asks how she is getting on. It is day three for goodness sake, and also we're in a very posh office with lots of big bosses. Bit unprofessional. When I did work experience I just kept replying "It's great!" or "I'm really enjoying it thanks" when people asked me that, so I don't think it's her age or a lack of social skills as she is obviously quite intelligent.

I just heard her do it again in the kitchen with someone pretty high up in the company - When he asked how she was finding it I don't think he expected her wet lettuce response of "Yes, well... I'm very tired to be honest and need to get home", I think he expected something positive - He didn't really know what to say!

It winds me up when the rest of us actually ARE bloody tired lol. I know she is only 16 but she has a lot to learn if she thinks the kind of work she has been doing is tiring lol :)

Maybe I'm being mean, at 16 she has probably been up late seeing friends or something and is therefore tired, but... Don't do voluntary work experience if that's what you want to do all summer. Thoughts?

OP posts:

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 03/07/2013 17:25

Maybe at 16 you were totally adept at everything straight off but she's not.

Can you not block out what she's saying and think more in terms of her performance so far? I know attitude is a big part of getting along with co-workers but she is probably very conscious of not mucking up and getting to grips with a different environment. She got breaks at school and between lessons and now she's out of her comfort zone.

I'd probably say something like, "How are you finding it, I expect it's pretty full on when you're not used to it but you're doing fine," if you utter a positive few things she'll possibly absorb them and maybe parrot them back later. It's only two weeks isn't it.

idococktailshedoesbeer · 03/07/2013 19:17

We've banned workies that age because they needed too much babysitting in an incredibly busy office. We don't advertise our jobs, it's all about who you know and you'd think they'd be all out to impress but usually not! I think the last straw was when a 16-year-old got his mum to email a complaint to our editor after a day of his work ex, saying he wouldn't be coming back and we were all horrible because no-one had shown him where the loo was. He could have asked!

We only take uni students or graduates now... they know how to behave and even act as if they'd like a job with us one day.

Emsmaman · 03/07/2013 19:25

I actually think you should say something in passing to her - sure it will be cringy for both of you but in ten years she will probably silently thank you (if she is serious about her career). Some of my most cringy moments work wise were at work exp or casual jobs but I learnt important lessons for my future career.

Frenchvanilla · 03/07/2013 19:25

Your first job is really tiring. It's much more draining than school.

And in a way, she's sort of paying you all a compliment, isn't she? "Gosh, it's all so tiring, I had no idea how much people who work here actually did and I admire them for being able to do it"

Do you work in a desirable industry?

I think it's to be expected that a 16yr old wouldn't be perfect in a work environment, but yours sounds like she's doing ok.

DumSpiroSpero · 03/07/2013 19:25

I know she is only 16 but she has a lot to learn if she thinks the kind of work she has been doing is tiring

Surely that's the point of work experience - to learn? At least she's trying with the actual work, office etiquette is whole other dimension and differs everywhere.

As far as I'm aware lots of GCSE students only finished their exams last week, so to go straight into voluntary w/e I think deserves a pat on the back and bit more tolerance tbh.

FruitSaladIsNotPudding · 03/07/2013 19:29

You should say something to her. She probably isn't even thinking about the impression she is making, a quiet word now will do her the world of good.

NoobyNoob · 03/07/2013 19:29

I remember doing mine, it was hard work going from school hours to proper working hours for two weeks.

She won't be able to grasp the etiquette of working in an office, so perhaps mention something to her in passing.

MammaTJ · 03/07/2013 19:41

She probably is tired. It is tiring being a teen! I was the same at that age, a mix of genuine tiredness (in spite of not having the same pressured I have now) and not really knowing how to answer when 'grown ups' asked me how I was. I was on a YTS before SP comes along and says it, yes, I am that old

Give her a break!

Tilly333 · 03/07/2013 19:45

I once organised for a friends daughter to come to my place of work for a week. She fell asleep on day two and was told not to come back. I have never been so embarrassed in all my life when I found out, and I only did after a week or so. It was mentioned by our secretary at work. My friend never mentioned it either - now I know why!

I know it can be a bit overwhelming, but jeez, she could have made an excuse and gone for a drink or something.

Never in my life will I do that again.

I think most youngsters haven't a clue about the time and effort put into organising work experience, and what you actually show them is not the most ground breaking interesting stuff. All because you have your work to get on with as well as tutor.

I think that schools need to brief the kids a bit more on what to expect and etiquette in the workplace before they agree to do it.

Saying all that we have had some fab young people, who are genuinely interested in what you are showing them.

usualsuspect · 03/07/2013 19:47

She's only there for 2 weeks, she's not getting paid for it.

It's not even her first job is it. Unless there's a chance of employment from it.

Give her a break.

JudyGellar · 03/07/2013 19:47

Either make a joke about it to put her at ease, or quietly pull her aside. She's there to learn.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 03/07/2013 19:55

its something to say, she may be feeling out of her depth, its the employers role to inspire her to get beyond this and feel enthusiastic. However, I used to work with a woman who constantly sighed, said how tired she was and how ill she felt on various days that it became quite draining for those around her so perhaps a friendly word over a coffee or lunch would give her an insight into how the big wide world works. remember she is new to all this and has not learnt the 'rules' and skills about 'game playing' that we learn to do in a work environment. be kind

pixwix · 03/07/2013 19:58

Ds1 (15) did a weeks work experience recently, arranged through school at a well known retailers. Because I work shifts as a nurse, most mornings, he had to get himself suited and booted (like he does for school) then cycle 6 miles there for 8.30, and then cycle back afterwards - sometimes he was involved with what he was doing, and didn't finish till nearly 6pm through his own volition.

I know he found it more tiring than he expected - poor lad was shattered by the end of the week, and it was an eye-opener for him really. I think it was also tiring being in a new situation, learning so much, new people, worrying about getting things right, and with different dynamics from school.

He got so much out of it though - he really enjoyed being an 'adult' as part of a team, and when he left they gave him a card, a present, and a saturday job when he turns 16!!

Portofino · 03/07/2013 20:01

Cannot you not just speak to her and say the so tired thing gives a bad impression. She is 16 and probably has no clue.

Hullygully · 03/07/2013 20:03

wot porto said

Elquota · 03/07/2013 20:06

These things don't come naturally to everyone, why would they? She's probably finding it rather overwhelming. She hasn't done anything wrong, she's just being really honest and open when asked a question. That's more charming in some ways than someone who knows the "right answer" to get ahead! So it sounds like she's just naive about office life, not setting out to complain.

Why don't you take her under your wing and give her some basic advice on office politics and expectations in the workplace? Be friendly and say you just wanted to offer some suggestions, and she'll probably take it all on board.

Also suggest that if she's really getting tired all the time she could see her GP, which might not have occurred to her. There might be some simple health reason like anaemia for example.

WhereDoAllTheCalculatorsGo · 03/07/2013 20:11

My 16 yo who has just finished his GCSEs is lying in bed until lunchtime every day, it's great that she's volunteering.
I agree with Porto too.

sparklekitty · 03/07/2013 20:11

Our work experience girl lay across the table with her head on her arms saysing loudly 'I'm so tired and bored' while my friend tried to teach out pain in the ass challenging Year1 class.

I told her to get up and get out as I would a rude 5 yo

LesAnimaux · 03/07/2013 20:11

Surely the default response to "How are you?" / "How are you finding things?" is "Yes, fine, all's great, thanks."

It's a rhetorical question, and everbody knows how to answer...surely.

Work experience people can be annoying. We had one who would put her head on her desk (yes, we gave her an entire desk, and told her she could answer the phone if she wanted to - although she couldn't file to save her life, and actually wanted to work with horses, not in an office.)

My DS goes on work experience next year, and I will be teaching him to make decent tea/coffee, to offer to make tea/coffee, and always say he's fine, even if he's not. (I think I've taught that one already).

Fluffycloudland77 · 03/07/2013 20:14

I lost loads of weight after I finished uni, GP's first question was had I recently started full time work so it must be expected that its hard.

Mention it to her.

roundtable · 03/07/2013 20:26

agree with porto.

WetDog · 03/07/2013 20:26

My whole career has been built on the week's work experience I did in Year 11. I was very, very lucky to spend a week where I did.

Talk to her. Be gentle but tell her she needs to make an impression for the right reasons - and she'll make an impression by being positive and being keen. Not whining about being tired (even if she is tired).

uggerthebugger · 03/07/2013 20:28

Definitely recommend a quiet word in the corridor. Or you could try this ?

PigOnStilts · 03/07/2013 20:31

Tell her. You're not being fair otherwise.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 03/07/2013 20:32

Porto is right - she just needs a quiet word in her ear about appropriate things to say - "I understand that you are tired - work experience can be tiring, but when a company has done you a favour by letting you do work experience, constantly saying how tired you are sounds very ungrateful and doesn't make a good professional impression."

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