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AIBU?

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Original poster

To Feel Irritated By The Work Experience Girl?

120 replies

TiffanyAtBreakfast · 03/07/2013 17:12

Okay. I don't know if I am just being a moany mare or not...

We currently have a young girl in the office who has just finished her GCSEs and will be here for two weeks for voluntary summer work experience (not the compulsory year 11 work experience). She's really sweet and personable and has been trying hard at doing her admin tasks and sitting in on meetings to learn etc. However I am getting so irritated by her saying "I'm just so tired", and "it's been so tiring", literally every single time someone asks how she is getting on. It is day three for goodness sake, and also we're in a very posh office with lots of big bosses. Bit unprofessional. When I did work experience I just kept replying "It's great!" or "I'm really enjoying it thanks" when people asked me that, so I don't think it's her age or a lack of social skills as she is obviously quite intelligent.

I just heard her do it again in the kitchen with someone pretty high up in the company - When he asked how she was finding it I don't think he expected her wet lettuce response of "Yes, well... I'm very tired to be honest and need to get home", I think he expected something positive - He didn't really know what to say!

It winds me up when the rest of us actually ARE bloody tired lol. I know she is only 16 but she has a lot to learn if she thinks the kind of work she has been doing is tiring lol :)

Maybe I'm being mean, at 16 she has probably been up late seeing friends or something and is therefore tired, but... Don't do voluntary work experience if that's what you want to do all summer. Thoughts?

OP posts:
StuntGirl · 03/07/2013 22:46

Just take her to one side and tell her.

Or you could just bitch about her and silently seethe.

Wonder which one will work best!

IncrediblePhatTheInnkeepersCat · 03/07/2013 22:49

Poor girl. It sounds like she is doing admirably apart from this one thing, which is likely down to naivity. It appears that she is not lolling around moaning about tiredness, merely responding when asked. Perhaps she feels she isn't performing at her best and trying to explain why. A kindly word would be good, though not making a big deal out of it.

Your first work experience is exhausting. It takes a while to build your stamina up. I still feel embarrassed when I remember mine from 15 years ago!

I did it at a court house (thinking about going into law) and one day I was assigned to a bailiff to drive to various houses - I fell asleep in the car! The guy was very nice about it. In one of the hearings I sat in on, I was struggling to keep my eyes open. I thought I'd managed to disguise it, but a lawyer came up to me at the end and said "Don't worry, we all felt like nodding off in there", gave me a wink and left. I was mortified (genuinely conscientious person, but fighting my own body).

I was a very active teen, hard-working with a million and one different hobbies and activities, but I was on my knees after 3 days in the 'real world'. Cut her some slack and be gentle and encouraging.

K8Middleton · 03/07/2013 22:53

FFs just tell her nicely!

Honestly you sound as bad as her! But you should know better really... Wink

ExitPursuedByABear · 03/07/2013 22:56

Tell her.

oreocookiez · 03/07/2013 23:01

Bless her she is only 16. school hours to a full work day is a bit of a shock and much more draining. Dont be so negative and try and chat to her about it, maybe she could do with an extra couple of 10 minutes break in the day? she is not getting paid to be there so it wont hurt anyone else. When my DC1 did his work experience they did 9-4 and had 3 ten minute breaks and a half hour lunch. He was knackered the first couple of days

dontgowadingin · 03/07/2013 23:07

Yanbu she probably has been wrapped in cotton wool at home.
What I've found with some of the teenagers I work with is that they seem to think they are in par with their management.
When my dd1 started as a barristers Clark trainee she was miffed as he was making her carry his files at the side of him as they walked. She just couldn't get her head around the fact that he was z bl

dontgowadingin · 03/07/2013 23:09

Posted too early!!

That he was a man and he was making her carry them !Grin

marriedinwhiteagain · 03/07/2013 23:21

Think being in a new job/environment is exhausting. I stared a new job about six weeks ago at 53 and I am beyond knackered. It isn't even very hard but new people, structure, systems, journey, environment, atmosphere. It's bloody exhausting
i

bookishandblondish · 03/07/2013 23:34

I work in quite a full on job where I lead discussions, participate in meetings, do analysis, produce papers etc etc I also know that " observing" and not "doing" is way more tiring than any other activity especially if I'm trying to take it in and pay attention.

Take her to one side, and tell her nicely.

echt · 03/07/2013 23:51

Who is the contact for this girl while she's with your firm? Presumably for insurance purposes, someone is responsible for setting this up. They should be the person you speak to.

In schools all our WE students have one person in the firm who is the contact for the school to ring, and when we take on trainee teachers, there's member of staff who's in charge the whole shebang, and is first port of call for such matters.

garlicnutty · 04/07/2013 00:04

Another YABU here, I'm afraid. She very likely is tired, and she probably thinks she's supposed to be honest when folks ask how she's doing.

If you'd like to find the girl less irritating - and contribute something worthwhile to a young woman's training - show a bit of sympathy; it is tiring. Then suggest she replies with something enthusiastic when people ask how she's doing :)

Is she thin? I was mortally tired at 17. My stupid GP didn't pick up that I was anorexic and, in fact, suffering malnutrition. Does she get lunch?

Remotecontrolduck · 04/07/2013 00:18

She's working hard and doing well. Honestly she probably has no idea, being tired isn't particularly rude. Not polite but could be far far worse. I imagine it is very tiring for her.

Give her a chat on general office ettiquette. That's what you are there for, to help her. I very much doubt you were perfect in your first job, especially after three days!

It's to be commended she's working for nothing voluntarily.

garlicnutty · 04/07/2013 00:26

It's to be commended she's working for nothing voluntarily.

God, I think it's dreadful! People's first experience of work is doing it for free - or, in many cases, paying the 'employer'! Then we witter on about how they don't understand the value of work ... well, we taught them the value of work was zero or less.

Not the issue on this thread, of course. Everybody does have to start somewhere and it's not this kid's fault things are this way. I wouldn't call it commendable, though.

BackforGood · 04/07/2013 00:31

Well, she's giving up her time, so she can learn - if it's something you've noticed, then it would be nice to say to her
a) something positive about her giving up her time to improve her knowledge
b) "Can I give you a little bit of advice? - say about the "I'm tired" thing
c) I've noticed how well you are doing with x,y,z

Remotecontrolduck · 04/07/2013 00:32

I don't think it's particularly fair either garlicnutty, I feel strongly they should be paid for their time however if they want a job, they need experience. Seems the only way they can get it is from unpaid work.

Not good or fair, but at least she's trying!

ComposHat · 04/07/2013 00:40

Work experience...what a load of wank. A whole week of making tea, filing paper and counting the paper clips for a bunch of mundanes.

I fucking hated every second of it and remember thinking 'if this is it til I'm 60, please shoot me in the head now.'

So I'm not surprised the poor girl isn't exactly turning cartwheels and full of beans.

echt · 04/07/2013 00:43

ComosHat the girl is doing this voluntarily, it's not the compulsory Year 11 stuff.

ComposHat · 04/07/2013 00:57

Yes, but it doesn't mean it is automatically going to be a barrel of laughs and/or an engaging experience, especially when she's surrounded by a bunch of mean spirited sorts, who are into the whole competitive tiredness thing in their 'posh office.'

OP yes she will be tired as she is trying to absorb a fuck-ton of information in an environment, meeting new people in a setting. It will be exhausting.

Do you not remember your first weeks in the job, trying to take everything and everyone in? Bet you were exhausted too. Stop being so horrible. As you get older, you develop the emotional intelligence to realise that when a slightly higher up desk jockey asks: 'how are you?' at work that the person doesn't actually give a flying fuck and only want their ego stroked so tell them everything is great/wonderful/really engaging.'

Original poster
TiffanyAtBreakfast · 04/07/2013 10:16

Thanks for the replies, quite a mixed bag! For those saying I'm horrible, it is possible to find something irritating without being a nasty person y'know Wink I did say in the OP what a nice girl she is and I've been making sure she's getting on okay - I sat her on the desk next to mine and have been welcoming etc. Also, saying the office is posh doesn't make me smug, I'm not a boss or anything myself so I was just trying to describe what sort of company it was for the purposes of discussion.

I appreciate peoples point of view about it being a new environment with lots to learn and I'm sure it is tiring (and definitely boring!) but it's the response that bugged me, not her tiredness itself. I think talking to her about it in a nice way is a good idea.

I've just suggested we have lunch together today, I might make a friendly joke about why she is always tired and take it from there lol Smile

OP posts:
LRDLearningDomHome · 04/07/2013 10:24

Don't make a joke, she'll just think you are taking the piss.

You're meant to be an adult, part of an adult environment where she's learning.

Just say it to her straight.

TSSDNCOP · 04/07/2013 10:33

I had a work experience lad a few years back. Our office did a lot of work on instant message, these were monitored by supvisors. Having asked WE lad to do something one morning, I was met sometime later by a supervisor with a printout of the message log. WE had written:

"TSSDNCOP is a bich (sic), not doin what she says right"

WE lad received an early education in the perils of slagging off your boss in a medium that will nail your arse.

Original poster
TiffanyAtBreakfast · 04/07/2013 10:36

Thankyou LRD, I am quite aware that I am an adult. It never hurts to soften the blow though.

Can you really say that you would just come out with "You need to stop saying you're tired when people ask you how you are"? I doubt it.

OP posts:
mrsjay · 04/07/2013 10:39

on't make a joke, she'll just think you are taking the piss.

that 15/16 yr olds dont have the same humour as we do she will be hurt and offended and want to curl up into a ball,

ButThereAgain · 04/07/2013 10:41

My son is about to do a week of work experience. I know he will find it exhausting, partly because of his apparently unshakeable need to spend 20 hours a day in bed. But partly because work experience will present the need to absorb a whole lot of job-related info plus the need to relate, despite shyness, to a load of strangers.

As his mum I would very much appreciate it if an office colleague saw his tiredness for what it was stress in the face of a very challenging experience and spoke to him in an adult and constructive way about the need for putting on a professional face to disguise the difficulty he was experiencing.

LRDLearningDomHome · 04/07/2013 10:42

I just meant, you could do with modelling adult behaviour. Jokes are fine to put someone at ease but the point here is that she's not really coping with the kind of behaviour you expect anyway.

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